It’s a matchup of 2010s-era wisconsin vs. 2000s-era Rutgers! What does that mean? READ DOWN!
Thus begins my sure-to-be-ill-fated attempt to write Big Ten-centric guides to all 48 teams in the 2026 FIFA Men’s World Cup. If you’d like to know how to watch these games, as well as whether you should watch them, I’ve already covered and solved all the ethical questions you could ever possibly need answered here:
Clearly the answer is “Yes,” otherwise the rest of this dumb series wouldn’t be happening.
Group A: The Basics
The Teams
- Mexico (14)
- Czechia (40)
- South Korea (25)
- South Africa (60)
The Games
All
times CT, all games on Telemundo and Peacock in addition to the FOX channel listed.
Mexico vs. South Africa
June 11 | 2pm CT | FOX
Estadio Banorte (Mexico City, MX)
Czechia vs. South Korea
June 11 | 9pm CT | FS1
Estadio Akron (Guadalajara, MX) — go Zips
Czechia vs. South Africa
June 18 | 11am | FOX
Mercedes-Benz Stadium (Atlanta, GA)
Mexico vs. South Korea
June 18 | 8pm | FOX
Estadio Akron — go Zips
Czechia vs. Mexico
June 24 | 8pm | FOX
Estadio Banorte
South: Korea vs. Africa
June 24 | 8pm | FS1
Estadio BBVA (Guadalupe, MX)
But who should I root for?
Mexico
Nickname: El Tri/El Tricolor (the three colors)
How’d they get here? Autobid as hosts
Are they good? ehhhhhhhhhhh
Who’s a player I should know? Raul Jimenez (forward) — he fractured his goddamn skull and is back playing in a position where you notably have to head the ball. Some good neck-roll linebacker energy.
What’s the best B1G comparative? If you like wisconsin in the 2010s, this is the team for you (always in the playoffs, never sealing the deal)—in part because lately they’ve been as competent and internally coherent as wisconsin in the 2020s.
How far should they go? Probably Round of 16—water does, after all, find its level.
Czechia
Nickname: Repre (the Representatives, kind of like if there were a foil to the Washington Senators)
How’d they get here? Finished second in their qualifying round group, then won two knockout round match-ups (over Ireland and Denmark) in penalties.
Are they good? By USMNT standards? Sure. By UEFA standards? Nah.
Who’s a player I should know? Patrick Schick (forward) — against better competition, the Czechs will get pressed down from their preferred 3-4-2-1 formation into a defensive 5-4-1 block, with wingbacks like the aging Vladimir Coufal and center midfielders like Tomas Soucek (both icons of West Ham’s Europa Conference League winning team) pressed down into defense. In that setup, there’s still always a chance the Czechs will counter and score, because Schick is that goddamn good.
What’s the best B1G comparative? Physical, workmanlike, and reliant on defense and special teams with maybe one offensive star? This is a peak Pat Fitzgerald team at Northwestern. No word on if, like Justin Jackson the Ball-Carrier, Schick also speaks French.
How far should they go? They should be able to get out of the group—whether that’s as a third-place team (Round of 32 elimination all-but guaranteed) or as a second-place team (that’ll be interesting), though, might determine whether we see the Czechs get into a knockout round matchup where their penalty voodoo can make a difference.
South Korea
Nickname: Taegeuk Warriors (“Supreme Ultimate Warriors”, roughly)
How’d they get here? By going unbeaten over 10 matches to top their AFC qualifying group. Granted, that’s 6-4-0, with ties against Palestine (twice), Oman, and Jordan—not the most convincing in the world—but it comes with a +13 goal differential. In this new era of bloated World Cup fields, South Korea’s going to be there more often than not.
Are they good? Good enough, sure.
Who’s a player I should know? You already know Son Heung-min, because like every other college football fan choosing a Premier League team around 2010, you adopted Tottenham Hotspur, made it an unhealthy part of your identity, pretended that you too had never known happiness in your sporting life, and told everyone all about how your adopted team—sorry, you’d call it a club—could do nothing wrong.
IT SHOULD’VE BEEN YOU WHO GOT RELEGATED, YOU ASSHOLES.
Forward Hwang Hee-chan is actually pretty fun up top, if he gets off the bench. Worth a gander, as is box-to-box midfield Hwang In-beom, assuming he’s healthy.
What’s the best B1G comparative? Illinois, in that there’s some flash, some promise, and you know you’re going to be left angry unless it’s the early 2000s and you get really lucky.
How far should they go? Round of 32 if they’re lucky and uninjured.
South Africa
Nickname: Bafana Bafana (“The Boys, The Boys”, in Zulu)
How’d they get here? By stunning Nigeria and winning their AFCON qualifying group straight-up, despite having a win over Lesotho defaulted to a forfeit for fielding an ineligible player. (Really, it was on Nigeria for not being able to win a damn match on the road.)
Are they good? Nah.
Who’s a player I should know? The only one I know from any English soccer-watching is Lyle Foster, the Burnley forward. Good hold-up play lad, won’t have much to do here because Bafana Bafana will come out with a five-man back-line and try to bog the game down.
What’s the best B1G comparative? Briefly relevant in the 2000s? A national federation that reaches slapstick levels of bad sometimes? Just happy to be here? Associated with something that gives me headaches? Helloooooo, Rutgers.
Today’s Games
Here’s an open thread if you’d like. Soccer!
Mexico vs. South Africa
June 11 | 2pm CT | FOX
Estadio Banorte (Mexico City, MX)
Czechia vs. South Korea
June 11 | 9pm CT | FS1
Estadio Akron (Guadalajara, MX) — go Zips
