If old journalists are to be believed, the MLB All-Star Game used to be far more meaningful than it is today. Apparently, players took the whole league superiority thing seriously, and Pete Rose wanted to win so badly that he helped ruin Ray Fosse’s career.
Though it’s just as possible that Rose saw an opportunity to be an asshole, and never liked passing those up.
These days, with interleague play and player movement more common, it feels like nobody cares quite as much about the game. Still, as a Phillies
fan, I’ve always pulled for the National League (Which has historically gone about as well as rooting for the Phillies themselves). While this game won’t decide home field advantage in the World Series or anything that serious, with this year’s game in Philadelphia, and a good number of Phillies on the team (though one fewer than there should be), I’d especially like to see the NL pull out another win this year.
I decided to familiarize myself with the American League personnel, since I realized I didn’t actually know that much about many of the players on the team. (As the years go by, it’s become more and more clear that I’m a Phillies fan, and not actually a baseball fan.)
Here’s a list of the roster – and due to all the injury dropouts, it’s quite bloated. Since I’m actively rooting against them, I’ve tried to work up a little bit of animosity for every player on the team. Apologies if any of these guys is a personal favorite of yours.
The injury dropouts
Vladimir Guerrero, Jr, Blue Jays – All-Star voting has always been as much a popularity contest as rewarding the players having the best season. Back in the day before the internet took off, when a lot of people rarely saw teams from the opposite league, you’d know half the starting lineups before the season just based on name value.
With online voting and statistics readily available, that phenomenon has lessened, yet you still get some players voted in based on their reputations. For example, Vladito was voted the starter at first base despite having a bad season. But since he’s been dealing with injuries, he’ll miss the game.
Nick Kurtz, Athletics – He was named the replacement for Guerrero, and promptly went on the IL, meaning he’ll also miss the game. That’s probably for the best as the sub-.500 homeless Athletics don’t deserve two starters.
Aaron Judge, Yankees – I get why he’s on the team as he’s probably the biggest American-born star in baseball. But he’s hurt, and it isn’t clear when (if?) he’s coming back.
Byron Buxton, Twins – The poor man’s Mike Trout in that he’s always injured and is apparently content to spend his career out of the national spotlight on a non-contender.
Ranger Suarez, Red Sox – Unfortunately, Mr. Rager just made his annual trip to the Injured List due to a hip injury suffered last week.
Cam Schlitter, Yankees – He’s apparently said he won’t pitch in the game. What the heck? You’re a 25-year-old who was never a top prospect, and you’re saying “no thanks” to appearing in the All-Star Game? Sigh…
The starters
C – Shea Langeliers, Athletics – His name reminds me of the Stephen King story “The Langoliers.” They made a movie based on it, and in the climax, Balki from Perfect Strangers gets eaten by Pac-Man.
As for Shea, let’s face it, he’s only here because Cal Raleigh inexplicably sucks this year.
1B – Ben Rice, Yankees – And here’s the third choice for the starting first base job. It’s funny that a guy named Rice is like the whitest person in baseball. I mean, the guy went to Dartmouth!
2B – Ernie Clement, Blue Jays – What the heck is Ernie Clement doing in the starting lineup? Did Blue Jays fans go absolutely nuts with the online voting?
SS – Bobby Witt, Jr., Royals – Okay, we finally have a legitimate star player. Although after the Royals gave up a “Little League home run” to the Mets, the league probably should have stepped in and banned all Royals from appearing in this game.
3B – Junior Caminero, Rays – It’s kind of fun when young Rays make the All-Star team because you get to speculate what team they’ll be representing in a few years when they inevitably get traded. (I wouldn’t be mad if the Phillies traded their entire farm system for him.)
OF – Mike Trout, Angels – I mentioned him earlier, but amazingly he actually stayed healthy for half a season. This will probably be the first national television exposure he’s gotten since Eagles players stopped handing him footballs.
OF – Riley Greene, Tigers – He’s basically the poor man’s Kyle Schwarber. But unlike others who I’ll discuss later, he’s still trying to play the field for now, so good for him.
OF – Cody Bellinger, Yankees – I am shocked that Yankees fans haven’t turned on him yet. Don’t worry, they will soon enough when they realize he’s not actually an elite hitter.
DH – Yordan Alvarez, Astros – You shouldn’t be allowed to be a primary designated hitter until you’re at least 30. Grab a glove, Yordan!
P – Dylan Cease, Blue Jays – This guy seems to be on the Aaron Nola trajectory where he’s great every other year, and average to good in the other years. Bad news, Blue Jays fans: He’s on your payroll until age 36, so you’d better hope he ages better than Nola has.
Reserves
Dillon Dingler, Tigers – I suppose when you’re saddled with a last name like Dingler, your options for naming your children are limited. At least his parents tried for some alliteration to make it halfway palatable.
Adley Rutschman, Orioles – He’s gone from “best catcher in baseball” talk to “The Orioles need to send somebody, and there aren’t that many good catchers in the league.”
Travis Bazzana, Guardians – Wonder how much the Savannah Bananas are going to pay him to play for them when his career is over?
Willson Contreras, Red Sox – I honestly can’t remember which Contreras brother is which, and in the end, does it really matter? One of them usually ends up in the game. (Although props to him for playing to the crowd as a heel on Monday night.)
Kevin McGonigle, Tigers – Hailing from Media, McGonigle is actually having a good rookie season. So I’ll just take this opportunity to say I miss the Granite Run Mall. Between the Orange Julius and Showcase Comics, that was a fun mall.
Miguel Vargas, White Sox – Remember when it used to be a big deal for Cuban players to join MLB? You never knew exactly how good – or how old – these guys would actually be when they arrived. It’s nice to see him having a breakthrough season because the Dodgers traded him away, and that team needs to take some L’s.
Munetaka Murakami, White Sox – He competed in the Home Run Derby, and I want to remind people that there is no real basis for the belief that the Derby messing up player’s swings or portending a down second half of the season. Yes, we know that Bobby Abreu stopped hitting home runs after the 2005 Derby. But he had been on a career outlier heater in the first half of that season.
I also want to remind Phillies fans that the reason the team didn’t pursue him harder is because he can barely play the field and the Phillies already have All-Stars at first base and designated hitter. (Would you really rather have him than Kyle Schwarber?)
Randy Arozarena, Mariners – Looking at this guy’s career numbers, he doesn’t scream three-time All-Star to me. That must be because he plays in media hotbeds like Tampa and Seattle. That said, if the Mariners decide to sell at the deadline, I wonder how much he would cost.
Ceddanne Rafaela, Red Sox – Solid player who is probably going to rack up a bunch of All-Star berths over his career when better players drop out, and somebody has to be chosen as replacement.
Tristan Peters, White Sox – I was wondering why the White Sox had so much representation on this team, and then I remembered that they were actually playing well this year. He was also the replacement for a previous injury replacement, so I guess somebody needed to go.
Yandy Diaz, Rays – If I had a nickel for every designated hitter on the All-Star team whose first name started with Y, I’d have two nickels! Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
Pitchers
Parker Messick, Guardians – With MLB’s endless endorsement deals, and a new Spider-Man movie coming out, I’m surprised they didn’t try to work out some sort of deal where he’d call himself “Peter Parker Messick.” (Maybe I shouldn’t give them ideas.)
Nick Martinez, Rays – Yet another guy making the team as a replacement for a player who has dropped out. He’s making his first All-Star team at age 35, and I guess if I had waited that long to make the All-Star team, I’d take it any way I could get it too.
Drew Rasmussen, Rays – It’s amazing how the Milwaukee Brewers consistently make the playoffs when there seem to be so many good ex-Brewer pitchers scattered throughout the league. Remember, never trade with the Rays! (Unless you’re the Phillies and you can get the starting pitcher in the All-Star Game from them!)
Joe Ryan, Twins – He hasn’t been traded yet? It feels like he’s been in trade rumors for the better part of three years now.
Michael Wacha, Royals – Career mediocrity makes his second ever All-Star game. I don’t know if this is a feel-good story or a testament to how few actually great pitchers there are?
Bryan Baker, Rays – Is this guy actually good, or is this a Jeanmar Gomez situation where if you put a guy into enough save situations, he’ll rack up a hefty save total?
Aroldis Chapman, Red Sox – Speaking of Cubans of questionable ages, when this guy first came over from Cuba, a lot of people assumed he was older than his listed age of 22. But at age 38, he’s still racking up saves, so maybe that was legit? Either way, I kind of hoped we’d be done with him by now.
Jacob Latz, Rangers – This is literally the first time I’ve heard of this guy. It’s weird that the Rangers are in first place, and they could only get one rep on the team, and that’s their closer. Meanwhile, the awful Royals have multiple players on the team. Why not take Jacob deGrom instead of Latz?
Cade Smith, Guardians – I wish the Phillies could call up a reliever and see him instantly dominate like Smith has the last three years.
Justin Verlander, Tigers – He gets to serve as team mascot or something? I’m not sure what the point of these “Legends” picks is supposed to be.
