It’s Thursday and you know what that means…. it’s time for the blog that gives you the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- it’s #FakeNunes time.
Now onto this week’s opponent
Opponent: University of Louisville
Location: Louisville, KY
Students: 25,005 students who all have a crazy Pat Kelsey story
The 2026 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.
Rivalry Trophy
The FNSI staff won’t
give up on their quest to bring back more tradition into today’s college game. Let’s see what they’ve got for this one
The Ryan Nassib Fake Quote Cutout
If you need a refresher, check out the story. You can’t expect a cardboard cutout to survive travel and the elements, so we’ll take the Nassib cutout and encase it some kind of protective covering so it can last as long as college football is played.
Jersey Boys
In our quest to be New York and New Jersey’s College Team, we’ll once again compare players from the Garden State.
Virginia has one Jersey native on their roster, which is not as many as the nine that Fran Brown has this season.
Advantage: Syracuse
Notable Alum
The time in the preview where the FNSI staff decides to drop some science and kick a bit of knowledge to help our loyal readers win a trivia night.
Sue Grafton vs Joyce Carol Oates
We go literary with this week’s matchup and pit the writer of the “alphabet series” detective novels against the prolific novelist known for “violent writing”. Grafton might have more best-sellers but Oates has the edge in Bram Stroker Lifetime Achievement Awards.
Advantage: L is for Louisville Loses
America Runs On
A new comparison tool this year. FNSI staff believe that the number of Dunkin’ locations in the school’s city can impact performance. There are actually 9 Dunkin’ locations in Louisville, which is more than we expected, but still below the 19 in Syracuse.
Advantage: Syracuse
Fran Brown Hat Tracker
Fran needs to change his luck. We implore him to ignore any warnings from his boss and just wear the 2024 D.A.R.T. hat. Just wear it Fran….and this crewneck is great but would like better with the et some script Cuse.
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction
Syracuse throws everyone off and starts Zaid Lott. The Orange get a field goal and the Dome crowd is loving life until Isaac Brown returns the kickoff 98 yards for a score. Brown will score 3 more touchdowns on the evening as the only thing in doubt is how many quarterbacks attempt passes for Syracuse. That total ends up being three as Lott, Lauter and Rich Belin all take snaps before the clock strikes midnight.
Final Score: Louisville 41, Syracuse 17
