FIRST PITCH: 1:10 PM CDT
TV: Twins.TV
RADIO: TREASURE ISLAND BASEBALL NETWORK
KNOW THINE ENEMY: Royals Review
One of my all-time favorite jokes to tell at parties goes like this:
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The man tells the bartender “I have the world’s only talking dog—try him”.
So, the bartender—about to kick the wise guy out—turns to the dog and asks “how’s the stock market?”. The dog says “ruff, ruff!”
“Impressive”, says the bartender, “but here’s a tougher one: who’s the greatest home run hitter of all-time?” The dog: “Roof, roof!”
The bartender immediately throws man & dog out onto the street.
The dog turns to the man and says: “I guess I should have said Hank Aaron”.
I don’t get invited back to a ton of parties.
Anyway, that’s just one example of how Man’s Best Friend & baseball (definitely no trouble differentiating those two in 2025 Twins Territory) can intertwine.
Last Tuesday, I attended another Bark at the Park with two of my sisters. Considering the Twins got shellacked (12-3) by the Chicago White Sox, it was refreshing to do something with canines other than gnashing them.
The doggie tale of the tape…
First we have Maui—a golden retriever with monkey-&-cymbals between the ears but boundless enthusiasm. The Willi Castro of dogs. I’ve taken Maui on 12+ miles of walking in a single day and never does she lag a step.
Next up is Miss Mia the golden doodle, the youngest of the bunch. Essentially a human being in shag carpet. Devoted chaser of rabbits—yet spooked by a rustling branch. Requires near-constant attention/affection at the ballpark. I’ve never seen Mia do one mean thing to human or animal. The Joe Mauer (circa 2004-2006) of dogs.
Finally there’s Kona—golden retriever #2 and the old, wisened “Shadow” of the group. She’s not my dog—but I could take her home and she’d never look back. She’s walked many miles at my side and curled up next to me during nights at the family cabin. Kona is extremely food-motivated (I’m fortunate the hot dog pic doesn’t include my finger down her gullet!) and incredibly loyal—which also makes her a little mean sometimes. Easily the most likely to snap at another dog who comes between her and her favorite people. The Kent Hrbek of dogs.
One could argue that Bark at the Park nights are just another in a long line of gimmicks to get paying admission to a ballpark—and in actual fact they are exactly that. But don’t tell that to Kona, Maui, & Mia—who got to spend a night hammering hot dogs, sniffing new scents, & sitting next to their favorite people.
Any bite in this lineup today—or will it be all bark:
