If Ryan Borucki strikes out Shohei Ohtani at any point in this upcoming Giants-Dodgers series, I’ll email “Ryan Borucki is as cold as the Bo-Rockies” with zero explanation to the department head at the middle school I work at.
If Ryan Borucki strikes out Shohei Ohtani at any point in this upcoming Giants-Dodgers series to strand a runner, or runner(s) on base, I’ll slap a “Ryan Borucki brings the Bo-Ruckus” bumper sticker onto my 2002 Volkswagen Eurovan and ride it ‘til it rusts.
If Ryan Borucki strikes
out Shohei Ohtani at any point in this upcoming Giants-Dodgers series to strand a runner, or runner(s) on base in a game the Giants win, I’ll upgrade the aforementioned “Ryan Borucki brings the Bo-Ruckus” sticker to a t-shirt that I’ll wear every time I go grocery shopping and offer an unsolicited explanation to at least one person I encounter, ending said explanation with “Basically, Ryan Borucki is one badass mother-rucker.”
If Ryan Borucki strikes out Shohei Ohtani twice in this upcoming Giants-Dodgers series — which is the amount of times Trey Yesavage struck out Shohei Ohtani in the 2025 World Series, which is relevant because to make room on their roster for Yesavage last September, Toronto DFA’d Borucki — I’ll wear a backpack over my head at a Giants home game this summer with “Ryan Borucksack” stitched across it. Look for me.
If Ryan Borucki strikes out Shohei Ohtani three or more times in this upcoming Giants-Dodgers series, I might just have to do all four of those things, and then Lord knows, what else…
