We will take it. Ensnared in the spookiest home stretch of their already spooky existence, the Seattle Seahawks exorcised their home demons ahead of Halloween. Lumen Field is a Little Shop of Horrors no
more. Indeed, the Scream-ing 68,632 in attendance Saw their favorite defense slowly but surely Chainsaw Massacre the Houston Texans on a pretty Psycho night for Seattle sports fans.
While the team across the street found a new way to torture its pre-tortured fans, and went down meekly in the ninth with the Silence of Lambs, the Seahawks rode their own brand of chaos to a victory that never felt in doubt. Sure, it was artificially close at half, eight-point game, and artificially close at the end, eight-point margin again. But only because the league office abolished safeties Monday afternoon without informing anyone but the officials. Okay okay okay, also because the Seattle defensive line spent three hours grinding their Houston counterpoints into Beetlejuice.
It ain’t textbook writing technique to present you the entire plot in paragraph three, but what the hell, it’s that kind of night, and you might already be tired of the Halloween movie references. The Seahawks won despite going 2 for 13 on third down, despite committing 12 penalties, while having a field goal blocked and giving the ball away four times, once for a strip-sack touchdown. They did everything necessary to lose, and still dodged defeat. Seattle was never going to lose this game.
Even with the stripes behaving as if their fantasy football team was facing the Seahawks D/ST.
Safety 1 was called two points in real time but overturned for forward progress. C.J. Stroud was running backwards the whole time. Contacted at the one, sure, but he was not making forward progress at the time, nor was he tackled until his knee was a foot deep into the end zone and the ball even further. If the rule was applied correctly here, the rule must be changed, @ Competition Committee. Also, Mike Holmgren, is there any way you can take care of this for us, thx pops.
Safety 2 was reversed and changed to a touchback. If Drake Thomas doesn’t soak his fingers in molten butter between possessions, this is a sure touchdown. If it goes through the end zone it’s a safety. If x or y other things happen it’s a safety. The Seahawks just happened to find the one option that gets them zero points.
Things remained pretty weird from start to finish, as Seahawks games are wont to do: another grungy, soothing-by-its-complete-lack-of-soothing type of victory that feels routine to our fandom. Like an old pair of pajama pants with enough holes to make your lower bits feel drafty, but so soft and familiar that you still reach for them first in the closet anyway.
After the teams politely traded punts, Seattle took over in Houston territory and ran five plays to gain 44 yards, on the back of Elijah Arroyo, what? Yep, Sam Darnold found him wide open once down the right sideline and again in the middle of the field, both on second down after Ken Walker runs. Swiftly at the 1, the Seahawks trusted Charbonnet behind six offensive linemen. He cashed the chips and the hosts never looked back.
The Seahawks won’t play again until after Halloween, which might give folks time to call for Charbonnet’s Carries to be reduced. However, Charbs was 6-39-1 before half while Walker gained just 10 yards on seven attempts. Their production flipped around after half, when K9 exploded for 56 yards on ten touches and Charbonnet got a yard and a half per touch. This Frankenstein monster of a running game can work. IT can work.
Another Houston punt later, the Seahawks really settled in with a 10-play, 80-yard stroll featuring a little of everything. Explosive to Kupp, Charbonnet bulldozing up the middle, fourth-down direct snap to A.J. Barner, and one penalty that made all the difference — the unnecessary roughness flag that transformed a limp Darnold scramble into a Shining first down. Nothing weak about Darnold in the pocket though three plays later, as he finds Jaxon Smith-Njigba to make it 14-0:
Even with a guy in his grille, that was right on the Mummy. Rather unlike Cooper Kupp, who shortly thereafter threw the final pass of his illustrious pro career, directly to a wide-open Calen Bullock. Bullock, unfortunately, does not play for the Seahawks. C’mon Coop, leave the passing to Matt Stafford, I mean, Sam Darnold, I mean, Sam Darnold who is playing exactly like prime Matt Stafford. In conclusion, from now on, catch ball never throw please thank you not quarterback person. For the love of Darrell Bevell, cut it out. Jeepers Creepers.
Kupp’s incomprehensible interception was the only blemish on a flawless first twenty minutes, and it turned what looked like another incoming Seattle touchdown into three points the other way. Mike Macdonald’s /interesting/ decision to try a long field goal instead of a short fourth down at the Houston 34 led to the Texans’ other three points, as Denico Autry hovered in the Twilight air of Seattle long enough to deny Jason Myers.
What felt like a three-score lead was actually 14-6 at half. In the true tradition of playing with their food, the Seahawks would never pull away completely, and never look in danger either. Instead, they’d spend the second half slowly sucking the blood out of their visitors, until either dawn or the clock hit zeroes, whichever came first. Along the way, they won over, and over, and over again at the line of scrimmage, and in the secondary too, until their lead was so medium it was virtually insurmountable.
By the end, Seattle’s prodigious defense had accumulated three sacks, seven QB hits, 10 (!) TFL and 12 passes defensed. Without their two best defensive backs active. They were hurrying Stroud on half his dropbacks, making the poor Texans OL look like so many inept past Seahawks iterations. And all that pressure burst in the way you’d expect, a predictable pick that required concentration from Seattle’s leader in interceptions: Ernest Jones IV.
Jones’ thievery set the Seahawks up for another scoring-adjacent drive. Macdonald mixed in a fourth-down pass play (JSN for 18! Surprise!) when faced with a decision at the 29. To his credit, he hesitated zero seconds and kept his offense on the field. Sure, the drive only yielded three points, because of one sliiight overthrow in the end zone. That’ll happen sometimes. Nonetheless, it’s interesting to see the Seahawks coach not be dogmatic about his fourth downs, even in the shortest to-go situations. Remember 4th and 1 against the 49ers in the opener? And the fourth quarter of last night’s game even, he chose to punt with one yard to go on the opponent’s side of the field. Analytics hate and form of kicking on 4th and 1, anywhere. Macdonald doesn’t.
(This merits its own post someday, but I bet the outline of MM’s fourth down philosophy is “gamble a little when ahead because it pays off in the long run, take the points when tied or behind, play it safe when up two scores or if you’re not confident.” It’s nowhere near scientific, and I’m going off caffeine, memory and recency bias here, but that feels right. And honestly, pretty livable as a fan.)
That Jason Myers chippie was looking like it could remain the third quarter’s only score, which suited all in attendance and all baseball-afflicted grievers at home.
Narrator: It was not the quarter’s only score.
Darnold has to have a Sixth Sense telling him not to spin into pressure. He cannot make that mistake in his own end zone! Except on Monday, when it was fine, because they had the cushion and the defense to shrug it off. And shrug it off is what that man did. He has the short term memory of a cornerback. ON THE VERY NEXT DROPBACK, he deposited a teardrop into a teardrop-sized window over Smith-Njigba’s sculpted shoulder.
Every single week, Darnold uncorks a toss that makes you forget he’s on his fourth team in four years. Honestly, fans of the team that resurrected Geno Smith’s career shouldn’t be surprised, yet here we are. Which makes this the perfect juncture for some truths about the 2025 Seahawks.
- The defensive line is elite. Top 10 for sure, Top 5 is reasonable. Leonard Williams and Byron Murphy wreck games.
- The secondary is also elite when healthy and serviceable when not. Josh Jobe and Nick Emmanwori are blossoming quarter by quarter before our eyes.
- The linebackers can play. We know about Jones, and Drake Thomas belongs.
- The special teams are good-to-great.
- The offense is explosive, disciplined, modern, steady, and terrible at run blocking.
Riding that recipe, the Seahawks can win this division, and if they have to go on the road, they can win in the playoffs. If like me, you’re stunned at how the Mariners managed to both exceed expectations and break our hearts into more pieces than should exist, you may climb the bandwagon and crush on these Seahawks, who will contend this January or next. Health permitting, of freakin’ course.
Anyway, the perfect pass above birthed three more Seattle points while also serving as a semi-dagger, given what the Texans would accomplish with their next six possessions:
- Turnover on downs, seven yards
- Punt, minus eight yards
- Punt, zero yards
- Downs, nine yards
- Downs, 47 yards
They’d add an irrelevant touchdown in garbage time. Good for them and their self-esteem, but all that did was offset Seattle’s other score, buttressed by another JSN explosive and another Charbonnet teeder. To remove all mystery, the Hawks needed only one more first down, and the Texans obliged via braindead penalty.
The bye arrives at a fortuitous time for player health; with Julian Love and Devon Witherspoon resting Monday night, they’ll be expected to make something close to a full recovery for November and beyond. With unknown injuries of unknown severity coming out of this game, again there’s a week off to cope with those. It’s just too bad they canceled the World Series this year, because now what are we gonna watch?
PREDATOR
Let us begin with this picture of Jaxon Smith-Njigba, a demigod cosplaying as football player.
Just another night at the office for JSN, who caught eight passes, racked up 120+ yards, and scored once, all for the third straight week. He is the team’s biggest and brightest star. Besides Michael Dickson, of course. He is as unguardable as Prime Shaquille O’Neal, as continually open as Terrell Owens, as stone cold as that Olympics shooter dude from Turkey.
PREDATOR
Mike Macdonald. Once again missing half his starting secondary, the Seahawks second-year man put together a defensive game plan that embezzled all Texan hope in the first half and choked all their progress in the second. Houston did not score an offensive touchdown until 2:04 of the final period.
PREDATOR
Ernest Jones IV. Nothing but a strip-sack, an interception and a third-down stop that opened the door for a fourth-down stuff. Said this last week and maybe it’ll get said again after the bye: Jones is indispensable. The Seahawks have proven they can win without every other defender. They have not proven anything of the sort in regards to Jones, and I hope they never have to.
Just look at him make the tackle and then check the sticks. It’s in the last second of this clip.
PREDATOR
Every defensive lineman, again. Yes, again, the whole line again. They ate in Jacksonville until cat hair came out their nose. Then they poked Stroud so often you through it was 2005 on facebook all over again. All four had a tackle for loss.
PREY
C.J. Stroud. 23 completions on 49 attempts with one score and one interception is some 1980s football, and not in the good way. His offensive line gave him just enough time to catch the snap, make one read, and run for his life. He’s legitimately lucky he didn’t exit with a concussion.
No Seahawks for 12 days. Good! If the 5-2 Hawks are to rest, let us rest with them. If they are to go, let us go with them. They might even have a nice place reserved for us at journey’s end, you never know.
