This is a column to check in on the rest of the football world, but since it’s 2025 in America I will beat you over the head with The Agenda, which in case you’ve forgotten is “Big Ten Superiority Unless
It’s Funny.”
THE AGENDA MVP: Michigan Wolverines
By defeating the fearsome Michigan State Spartans, Michigan was able to move up four spots in the AP poll to #21 as they clinched bowl eligibility. Remember, Michigan State is a stalwart former College Football Playoff participant, and I’m glad that the AP Poll AND Coaches’ Poll voters were so deeply impressed with such a tremendous victory over such a revered program.
I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING WHY NOT WASHINGTON
With losses only to #1 Ohio State and #21 Michigan, 6-2 Washington continues to garner no respect despite giving Illinois their first loss to a team outside the top 2. We are once again seeing the poll voters do that thing where when SEC teams beat each other, the whole league must be great, but when Big Ten teams beat each other it means the league sucks. Say, who did #4 Alabama lose to again?
WEEKLY REMINDER THAT ALABAMA LOST TO FLORIDA STATE
I know I usually wrap up the Big Ten before I go anywhere else, but the raging debate of “Alabama lost to Florida State” versus “no they didn’t” is just too loud to ignore. I’m firmly on the side of “they did in fact lose to Florida State,” and I furthermore believe that it does in fact matter that Florida State is 0-4 in ACC play after losing to Stanford a couple weeks ago. Sure, the Big Ten is embarrassed by USC losing to Notre Dame but that’s not really the same thing.
Texas A&M has begun to receive some #1 votes because apparently Ohio State and Indiana didn’t do enough to keep a stranglehold on the top spot in the eyes of some voters.
ROLLING & BOWLING
In addition to Michigan and Washington, Nebraska and Iowa also reached bowl eligibility this week, joining Ohio State, Indiana and Oregon in that category. Four more sit right on the doorstep of the postseason. Neither the ACC nor the Big 12 have seven bowl eligible teams.
It’s easy to find the bowl-eligible SEC teams because they’re all ranked in the top 20. Apparently, it’s extremely impressive to win six games before November if you play in the SEC. They must not do it very often.
Purdue made a heroic sacrifice after assessing their chances of getting to a bowl versus those of Rutgers and took one for the conference to keep The ‘Gers alive for postseason play. Someday, Purdue’s patriotism will be rewarded.
PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD
It is abundantly clear at this point that the Big Ten is being punished for how transcendent Indiana, Ohio State and Oregon are. I would advise any and all winning teams in the Big Ten to please dick around as much as possible like Texas A&M, who beat Arkansas and Auburn in mere one-score games, or just Regular Texas, who completely deserved to lose to Mississippi State and Kentucky. When the fourth quarter hit, Indiana should have started running backwards on offense towards their own goal line and dropping the ball there in order to make the game more competitive. It’s what the people demand. Alabama pretended they were going to lose to South Carolina for over three quarters and apparently they’re the fourth best team in the country!
Oregon tried to show us how it’s done, but you’re going to need both teams to score a little more to make it more exciting. Still, Big Ten fans appreciate what Oregon tried to do for the conference. Nebraska understood the assignment, but they’re not ranked highly enough to get credit for the great work they did in letting Northwestern come back from a 21-6 deficit. Iowa didn’t understand the assignment at all and screwed everything up. Learn from Illinois, who is showing the world that the Big Ten knows how to put up points on virtually every drive.
THEY KNOW IT’S NOT REAL
Wanna know who absolutely knows the SEC is overrated? LSU athletic director Scott Woodward. You wouldn’t fire a head coach who’s 5-3 just because he happened to have three top-10 teams on his schedule…
…unless you knew that’s a mirage and three of the ten best teams in the country are NOT in fact on the schedule. Nobody thinks Illinois should fire Bret Bielema for losing to three Big Ten teams who are a combined 21-2 even though one of them is unranked. The people who call the shots see through all the propaganda.
NO DEPTH ANYWHERE
The lack of depth in other conferences sure is benefitting their leaders. Miami hasn’t been seriously challenged outside of their loss, and Georgia Tech’s nailbiter against Wake Forest and a close win against a Clemson team everyone thought was good at the time have kept them undefeated. Virginia stayed ranked despite getting taken to overtime by the Jordon Hudson Tar Hels. Pitt somehow ruined promising young quarterback and probable future Wisconsin Badger Eli Holstein and yet remains 6-2.
BYU finally has to play some of the top teams in the Big 12 in the next few weeks so that will be fun. They remain 8-0, apparently worse than five teams with losses on the year.
NEXT WEEK
Ohio State is back in action against a 3-4 team. The ideal thing to do would be to trail all game and then scrape by in the fourth quarter like an SEC front-runner would do.
Can Texas continue to play like shit and get away with it? Vanderbilt would like to find out. Oklahoma and Tennessee play this week’s version of “these mid SEC teams are ranked in the teens so the winner will go up and the loser will stay where they are.” Several SEC and ACC teams are against in-conference tomato cans.
The world will stop and revolve around the legendary Big Ten rivalry game that is Illinutgers.
