4pm CT on SECN+.
If ever you questioned the baseball gods, last night’s game taught us what happens when they let Cthulu sub in for Jobu for a day. To start, rain kept postponing the opening pitch. Then, Corbs kept The Spice in (as he should have done last week) for 7 IP of 5 hit, 1 run ball. Fennell left with 109 pitches, up 6-1, with the bullpen only needing 6 outs to close out a series opening win. An easy win to start the 6 in a row we need to close out conference play, right? Wrong.
Then the Lovecraftian
Elder God Cthulu came out in the form of veteran righty Luke Guth. After the first two batters, it was obvious to everyone watching—save for Brownie and Corbs—that Guth just didn’t have it, and a proactive yanking was the right move. Ward singled, followed by a Serna 2B, and if Corbs had put literally anyone else in there (okay, yes, there are not many great bullpen pitchers this year, but still), we likely get out of the inning with minimal damage. Instead, he stuck with Guth through the next batter, Donovan Jordan, who reached on a rare throwing error by Ryker Waite, making it 6-2. Then he stuck with Guth after Kaden Peer gap doubled in another—6-3. And he stuck with Guth after Keegan Knutson bunt singled in another, making it 6-4, and after Eric Maisonet bunt singled in yet one more, making it 6-5… all without Guth having recorded so much as an out.
By this point, literally every fan’s voice was hoarse from screaming, “GET HIM THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!” Nevertheless, Corbs persisted.
After a merciful fly out by Leo “Humbert” Humbert, Guth would walk them loaded. Did Corbs make a call to the pen there, with bases loaded, one out, and a pitcher in full-on meltdown mode?
Bless your heart.
No, he waited until Guth walked a run in to tie the game 6-6 to finally, long after anyone else would have made the call to the pen, bring in Shoresy.
Shoresy would induce a groundout, but one that allowed the 7th Unrecognizable Tiger run to score, before hitting Serna to load them up one last time, and then finally inducing an inning-ending groundout.
Heading into the 9th, Corbs’ incomprehensible pitching decisions had finally appeared to put a knife in the 2026 season.
…but did Cthulu stop the crazy there and simply put us out of our misery? Oh no. Oh no no no.
With a full-on London fog descending on Columbia, Missourah (spits), Korbin Reynolds—an auto-out in the lineup pretty much all year—continued the best game of his career with a leadoff single to start the top of the 9th. Then, Ryker Waite sac bunted the PR Cade Sears over to 2nd (he could have pretty easily just swiped the bag, but whatever), and the Diamond Dores were in position to play for the tie and keep the season alive. Except, you know, Mancino man’s slump continued, and he Kd swinging. Fellow slumping star Brodie Johnston was our last shot. By this point, of course, Chtulu had brought in the death fog.
Johnston battled against both Missourah (spits)’ closer and the complete inability to see a pitched ball for a full count BB, and The Hulk entered the batter’s box as our last hope.
What happened next needs to be seen to be believed… and good luck seeing any of it through that damned fog:
If you watched it live, you saw The Hulk crush an oppo liner with 108mph exit velo and a launch angle of near 19 degrees. The right fielder never saw it. The camera didn’t capture it land. The umps had no idea. Then, the 1st base ump made the “circle the bases” signal and The Diamond Dores were back on top 9-7…
…until they weren’t. Cthulu, despite allowing the first base ump to signal that it was a HR, decided to get the umps to gather together to collectively fuck us, ruling against all logic that it was a ground rule 2B, it was 7-7, and Johnston and Holcomb would have to return to 3rd and 2nd, respectively. Oh, and the game was now postponed. 7-7 in the top of the 9th… 2 down.
Hey umps… maybe don’t try that against a school whose students and alums can do physics:
Oh, and then there was this:
My closing thoughts: WHAT THE FUCK, UMPS?!?!?!?!?! Also, who the hell spiked Jobu’s rum cup with acid?!?!?! Do you want to summon Lovecraftian Elder Gods? Because that’s how we get Lovecraftian Elder Gods, you fools!
Anyway, optimistically, we’re still not dead yet, and today at 4pm, we set those ducks back on the pond and give Logan Johnstone a chance to drive them in and make things right.
Anyway, I suspect the craziness is not over, as Corbs had already planned to go with Johnny Wholestaff on BOTH Saturday and Sunday, and if we don’t plate at least one run, who knows how many extra innings this partial game might go before the full 9 nightcap?
On the Mound
Saturday @ 4:00pm on SECN+
Vanderbilt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
vs. Missourah (spits) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The Lineup
First game will be the same as last night, only with Chris Maldonado in for Tommy Goodin, and Aukai Kea (most likely) in for Korbin Reynolds.
Second game? Well, I’ll post that if and when it’s posted.
See you in the comments. Cast out Cthulu. Bring back Jobu.
Please.
And thank you.
