1. Anyone else finding themselves doing ordinary household tasks or walking around and just saying, “Damn, that’s CRAZY!” for no reason? I’ve probably done that about 30 times in the last three days because
DAMN, THAT’S CRAZY. The Bears really did that on Saturday night. For real. It happened. Walked down the Packers like they were Kendrick Lamar in the Drake beef. Like Michael Myers in every Halloween movie. Again. Forget Kings of the North. The Bears are the Demons of the North.
2. If/when Caleb Williams gets his statue outside of…wherever the Bears end up playing in the future, it’ll be of that 4th-and-8. Unless he does something even wilder in a Super Bowl, that throw will end up one of the most memorable of his entire career, and he’s only two years in. It was that insane. The greatest I’ve ever seen from a Bears quarterback in my life, by far. To think he can just bust that out whenever he wants and hit that shot is absurd. I can’t believe this is our life.
3. I don’t want to hear one more damn person complaining about Ben Johnson talking about how much he hates the Packers or why he isn’t nicer to Matt LaFleur. Go find a new hobby if sports rivalries upset you that much. If you’re not constantly on go like Luther Burden III, this might not be for you.
4. As if this first weekend had gone any better, we also got to watch Aaron Rodgers potentially go out sad against the diabolical Houston Texans defense. Not that I blame the guy; as someone put it on social media, they’re like a pack of velociraptors with machine guns. But don’t expect us to feel sad about watching him throw a pick-six to seal the loss. In fact, run that back.
5. It’s kind of insane to think four of the six games this past weekend were absolute barn-burners. Aside from the Pats’ win over the Chargers and that Texans demolition job, they all came down to a final possession, with the fourth quarters turning into shootouts on par with the OK Corral. The viewership stats from the Wild Card Round might go off.
6. Matthew Stafford seems all but set to become MVP this year (though I don’t agree with it, personally). And his comeback win over the upstart Carolina Panthers was impressive, of course. But why do people like Matt Leinart feel the need to argue Stafford should be a top-five QB—or even top-10–all-time if he wins another Super Bowl? Where is this coming from? He’s never even been a consensus top-five quarterback throughout the entirety of his career, and we’re supposed to entertain bumping someone like Joe Montana or Drew Brees for him? The Super Bowl argument would certainly cement first-ballot Hall-of-Fame status for him, but having a lot of stats and two rings isn’t enough to put him in the top-10 guys of all time to me. Top-25? Then, we’d be talking.
7. If the Patriots can suddenly play lockdown defense now, they might be a much bigger problem in the AFC than people are realizing. Sure, not every offensive line will be as porous as the Chargers’, but their hellacious coverage had Justin Herbert befuddled last week, allowing for more pressure to get home. I’m just imagining what those kinds of coverage disguises could do to Bo Nix and CJ Stroud.
8. Having to tackle Josh Allen on a tush push looks like having to tackle a moose that’s being pushed forward by other, smaller moose. The fact that he almost scored on that fourth down from 10 yards out is hilarious but very on-brand.
9. This current version of the Eagles is broken and needs some changes. Because even though you can’t have AJ Brown complaining about not getting the ball enough only to drop the ball repeatedly, you also can’t have the head coach sprinting down the sideline to troll him in the middle of a playoff game. But perhaps more than that, you can’t win forever with a quarterback who can’t throw anything but verticals and hitches. Is that all on the offensive coordinator, or does Jalen Hurts just need to be better? Guess we’re going to find out with Kevin Patullo almost certainly gone.
10. The universe clearly hates me, because it made sure the Bears game got scheduled while I’m at an absolutely mandatory event for my job on Sunday night. Here’s hoping I don’t get fired for sneaking peeks at the game all night long.
