It’s the Super Bowl. Five minutes remain when Seattle Seahawks quarterback Sam Darnold finally arrives at the stadium. Cameras follow as he casually walks in from the parking lot while Seattle burns its timeouts and hits the two-minute warning, before he finally takes the field.
That was the scene in Pittsburgh during Friday’s SmackDown as “QB1” Cody Rhodes finally showed up in the closing moments of the show to confront Randy Orton — the man who assaulted him and left him bloody two weeks ago.
Before
all that, Rhodes made time to post a photo of his bloody shirt on social media, stopped to have a few words with Grammy winner Jelly Roll, and then resumed his march. Meanwhile, in the ring, Orton waited as his theme looped.
When Rhodes finally entered the arena, he stood in the entryway, trying to look defiant. As he began his walk, he was interrupted, this time by SmackDown GM Nick Aldis and security. The delay lasted long enough for the crowd to sing “WOAH” as that chorus of Rhodes’ song hit.
After assuring Aldis that he was “just gonna talk” to Orton, Rhodes strolled rather than make a mad dash to the ring, pausing once he got on the apron.
As it turned out, Rhodes lied about wanting to talk. As soon as he entered the ring, “Cody Roams” transformed into “Cody Badass,” taking the fight to “The Viper.”
Meanwhile, at my house, my wife cooked two steaks, let them rest, poured wine, and then plated dinner. We began to eat by the time Rhodes and Orton brawled onto the announce desk for a second time.
Security, which had struggled to restrain Rhodes — the 6’2” 220-pound colossus — finally held him back long enough for Jelly Roll to enter and try to play peacemaker.
Mercifully, this dreadful segment, which included a commercial break during Rhodes’ arrival, ended the only way it could: with Roll eating an RKO and Orton slipping away, grinning like the 2005 “Legend Killer.”
What made this even more ridiculous was that SmackDown aired on its normal night, in its normal time slot. Orton was originally scheduled to speak only. It wasn’t until he was attacked by Matt Cardona, who sought revenge for Orton breaking his arm last week, that Orton was put into a match.
Let that sink in.
Rhodes, beaten and bloodied, took two weeks and nearly the entire show to seek retribution. Cardona, one week removed from a broken arm and wearing a cast, showed up to work on time and went straight to Orton.
Fans booed Cardona, which was unfair. His urgency dwarfed that of Rhodes, the Undisputed WWE Champion. Simply put: Cardona showed up ready to fight. The champ got there when he got there, lucky to find Orton still in the building — so we’re to believe.
Tell me why I should care about Rhodes and Orton at WrestleMania after this.
On second thought, don’t. If WWE can’t get me to care, you shouldn’t have to do their job for them.
