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On a drizzly night, the Twins managed (somehow) to win a battle of bumpy bullpens. (In bWAR for relievers, the Cards’ pitchers are ninth in MLB; the Twins’ are 29th.) Inning-by-inning notes:
1: Cards 1B Alec Burleson has a home run in each of his last three games; make it four. Heckuva hot streak. If you didn’t know (I didn’t), the record is eight games in a row. Shared by Ken Griffey, Jr. (1993), Don Mattingly (1987), and Dale Long (1956). Long’s not a name most of us are familiar with, but he had
a solid career OPS of .80 over 10 seasons. Six guys have hit seven in a row, and 25 have hit six. None of the above were Twins.
Byron Buxton now has one straight game with a home run. That’s #21 of the year; that’s on pace for 48! But we know he’ll waive his no-trade clause, get traded to the Dodgers for a high-A prospect, and end up hitting 75 home runs because the Dodgers have bought off the baseball gods. (They can afford it.) Tied 1-1
2: Two singles by guys who have Tattooine-type names; Lars Nootbar and Masyn Winn. Then a lineout, and an RBI single for Blaze Jordan, who was just called up today! It was his first at-bat, in fact. Good for him. After a strikeout, there’s a single to right, and Winn scores. Originally, the throw beat Jordan to third, and he was tagged out… but, SS Tristan Gray bumped into Jordan on the basepaths, so he’s safe because of defensive interference.
Radio’s Kris Atteberry keeps saying this mistake cost the Twins a double play. No, Kris. No, it did not. Well, everybody makes mistakes.
Royce Lewis hits a long out. That’s as exciting as the Twins get here. Cardinals 3-1
3: Ooh, Gameday has really spruced up the graphics this year:
That ball in the dirt KICKED UP some dirt. This is what you pay graphic design graduates hard money to think up, folks.
Finally a 1-2-3 inning for Joe Ryan, although he’s at 63 pitches now which means four innings of The Best Bullpen in Baseball.™
Tristan Gray has a leadoff single, and this mistake costs the Twins an imaginary radio double play. Whoops, I jinxed it, since after a Luke Keaschall strikeout there is an actual double play. Well, I wouldn’t have jinxed it if Atteberry hadn’t said it in the first place, so it’s still his fault.
4: Oops, I also jinxed Ryan by saying he’d pitch five innings. They just paused the game for rain, so he’s done.
I double-jinxed it. The delay was short enough (29 minutes) that Ryan’s back out. Waiting for the game to start, OTHER radio guy Dan Gladden says “I think 14 teams make the playoffs now” and this is untrue, so let’s just assume that the third radio guy is named Jim Beam tonight. Another 1-2-3 for Ryan.
Buxton hits a double, and tries stretching it into a triple. It doesn’t work. The rest of the Twins avoid baserunning errors by avoiding the bases.
5: Two-out single by Iván Herrera, who steals second with no throw, but Ryan strikes out Burleson to end it. He’s at 92 pitches now, though, so my original jinx stands true.
Here we go! A Lewis single and super-rare double Victor Caratini double. Second and third, no out. Brooks Lee hit one to right, and Lewis doesn’t try to score, thinking RF Jordan Walker has a rocket arm. Walker does, but the throw ended up being way off line. Still, Gray has an infield single and Royce scores. Luke Keaschall flies out; not deep enough for the slow Caratini to tag up. Boy, you’d like to have had more there. Gashouse Gang 3-2
6: TRIPLE JINX! Ryan stays in to get three guys on seven pitches. Shows how much I know. I mean, I know a lot about certain things. I know that old-timey actor Edward G. Robinson was in a crime movie called The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse and you probably didn’t know that. But I do not always predict the future of baseballs game accurately.
Gee whiz, Byron… 3-3 tonight, this one a double. Kody Klobberin’ Klemens takes a walk. Josh Bell manages to golf-swing one off the outfield wall, and for some reason Clemens doesn’t get past third. Still, Buxton scores, and this chases starter Kyle Leahy.
Alfonso Soriano’s cousin George Soriano in to pitch. Royce sac fly to center, scoring Clemens. “Other” Soriano escapes further damage. Again, when (after the Bell RBI double) you had runners on second and third with nobody out, you’d like to get both of those in, but we’ll have to settle for Twins 4-3
7: Taylor Rogers (4.78 ERA) in. Leadoff walk, not so good. He gets a called Strike Three on the next guy, and he’s probably lucky this is Blaze Jordan’s first MLB game, because the 3-2 pitch was inside, but Jordan doesn’t challenge it. Roger gets the next guy swinging, and walks another; geez, Taylor.
This brings in Eric “Oozy” Orze. He gives up a hit, but Tristan Gray manages to keep the ball from escaping the infield. Nobody scores; yet the bases are loaded.
Four straight balls from Orze. YUMMY. Tie game.
Jordan Walker double. NOT tie game.
The new Card pitcher is Gordon Graceffo, who is not related to Alfonso Soriano, but he has a very cool name just by itself. He gives up two walks of his own, and the second means he’s replaced by Ryne Stanek.
Hey! Kody Clemens found his dad’s old pharmacy phone number! Homer runner! Tied 7-7
8: Something called a Yoendrys Gómez pitching for the Twins. One easy pop-up out, then a single, WP, another single, and a ball that gets stuck in Tristan Gray’s glove for the RBI. Yuck. New pitcher time, it’s Anthony Banda. A bloop single loads them up; still only one out. A pop-out to first; then a flyout to center. Nice job, Banda, I guess maybe.
Hey, what happens when you hit a ball at the right angle 107 MPH? A Dong Does! Thanks Royce!
Then, Brooks Lee with a pathetic, only 100 MPH one. But, we’ll take the second dong anyways! Better Midwesterners 9-8
9: Andrew “Not Black Jack” Morris in for the save opportunity, and it’s… really pretty easy for him! Twims wim! (Yes, we spell it wrong on purpose here sometimes.)
Studs: Joe Ryan and the Bomba Squad, 6/12/2026 edition: Buxton, Clemens, Lewis, Lee. Duds: No duds, Twins win! (Except the whole bullpen, but it’s not their fault they stink, it’s Pohlvey’s.)
The Twins remain one of two teams (along with the Nats) not to have a walkoff win so far this season.
COTG: Nagurski for weather/cultural observations, SooFoo for “more like tarps on” (referencing how half-nekkid Cards fans like to call themselves the “Tarps Off” bunch, and there was a rainy delay), sandwiches for “We should play Twinkie Town blackout bingo with how the bullpen f***s up a game. Pretty sure we’d have a blackout already on the bingo card and by drowning our sorrows,” then Matt for “what is this Morris nonsense… get Lawrence out there, I want the Twins to obliterate the unique saves record”
Thanks to everybody who joined in; it was a long night!
Tomorrow’s game is at 1:10, featuring one Matthew Liberatore against our own Connor Prielipp. Catch ya next time!
