NEW YORK CITY — Jayson Tatum made the choice to not bite his tongue a long time ago.
At the Celtics’ shootaround on Thursday morning, when he was asked about the emotions of playing at Madison Square Garden for the very first time since his injury, the Celtics star opted to be completely candid.
“Nervousness, anxiousness,” he said. “All the things you’d probably expect.”
On paper, Thursday’s game was just another regular season game between two Eastern Conference foes. Entering the match-up, the Celtics
had won four straight games, and held a three-game lead over the New York Knicks for second place in the Eastern Conference.
But, in reality, Thursday night held extra weight, marking a return to the place where Tatum’s long, lonely rehab journey began. Inside the walls of MSG was a moment in time in which everything changed: the night Tatum ruptured his Achilles tendon almost eleven months ago.
“The lowest point of my life was here,” Tatum said.
Tatum remembers hearing a pop. He remembers his career — and the Celtics’ future — flashing before his eyes. And, he remembers thinking that it all could be over, that he might never be the same again.
“One day I felt like Superman, and then the next day I felt like the smallest man on Earth,” Tatum said on the Pivot Podcast in January. “It’s been a struggle.”
Since that fateful day, Tatum has cleared plenty of milestones. He returned to 5-on-5 action in January, and practiced with the Maine Celtics for the first time in February. He made his national stage, NBA debut on March 6th, and was named the Eastern Conference’s Player of the Week just a few weeks after that.
To an observer, it appeared Tatum’s greatest challenges were in the rearview mirror. He was not only back, but he was playing some elite basketball.
Still, another major hurdle loomed: a return to Madison Square Garden. While he could have delayed that eventual emotional confrontation, he didn’t want to kick the can down the road and opted to lace up while his co-star, Jaylen Brown, sat.
Earlier in the week, Brown admitted he hadn’t considered Thursday’s game could carry extra emotion, but offered his support: “Mentally, it could possibly be something — but that’s what your teammates are there for. We got his back.”
For Tatum, it was very heavy. Moments before tip-off, he made his way over to the exact spot on the court where his leg gave out on him and took a deep breath.
“It was a lot,” Tatum said. “Especially in the beginning. It took me a while to calm down.”
But, in this return to New York City, he had the support of more than just his teammates.
Pregame, Knicks head coach Mike Brown expressed how happy he was to see Tatum back in action.
“Seeing him back on the court should bring joy to anybody,” Brown said.
When Tatum’s name was announced as part of the Celtics starting lineup introductions, the MSG crowd — which had been rauceoulsy booing every Celtics player — erupted in cheers.
“That means a lot, obviously,” Tatum said. “I appreciated that.”
Tatum wanted to play a great game and for the Celtics to walk away with a win. Neither of those things happened; the Celtics fell to the Knicks 112-106, and Tatum shot just 7-22 from the field and turned the ball over 6 times (though he did also finish with 24 points, 13 rebounds, and 8 assists).
But even the most fiery competitor in him could admit that the final score and stat line were not the most important thing in the world.
“I just kind of wanted to walk off the floor on my own two feet,” he said.
That he did. After the final buzzer sounded, Tatum hugged nearly every player and coach on the Knicks, a moment that was representative of what the last couple of weeks of action have looked like.
“Since I’ve returned, the reception that I’ve gotten from players, coaches I’ve never even spoken to, GMs has been great,” Tatum said.
Tatum could have minimized the significance of Thursday’s game and chosen not to share with the public the emotions he was battling. He could have simply brushed aside the questions, calling Thursday night just another game.
But, he opted not to do that.
Surrounded by reporters in the visiting locker room after the loss, Tatum was completely honest.
“It was a big moment, a big hurdle for me,” he said. “I was nervous and anxious to come back here.”
Why choose to do that?
From the beginning, he made the choice to be completely authentic about his struggles, about the doubts he faced, about the mental aspect of the recovery.
“The nature of this business is [that] there’s millions of eyes on us all the time. And when I went down, millions of people were watching,” he said. “And so, it’s a lot of people that have paid attention to this journey. I’ve been candid about it from the beginning, that, hopefully, my experience and the way I approached and attacked this has inspired somebody out there that is not necessarily going through an injury, but maybe a tough time. And hopefully, they can witness or see what I’ve tried to accomplish — and appreciate and be inspired by that.”
That approach has earned the praise of his head coach, Joe Mazzulla.
“I think one of his greatest strengths is just his vulnerability and openness and his understanding,” Mazzulla said pregame, acknowledging that he knew the game would bring about a ton of emotion.
“But I think once the game started, he kind of got into a game flow,” said the Celtics head coach as he reflected on the loss.
Tatum never looks for moral victories. He’s rarely cheerful after losses.
But, the circumstances surrounding Thursday’s contest were unique.
“Today was important for me, especially when I made the decision to come back and then made the decision to play today,” he said. “I’m glad I did. I feel a lot better today, even after the loss.”
