Remember that eight-game winning streak? Believe it or not, it happened! So, why haven’t the Mariners managed to replicate anything close to that kind of consistency since then? Or before? Hmm, no, nevermind, best not to think about the beginning of the season. The Meet at the Mitt podcast recently gently poked fun (or gently vented spleens) at this team’s situation with their version of the Blame Game, which I highly recommend giving a listen. But, this post is not about assigning blame. We’re here
to blindly prognosticate with hope-filled guesses on when these Mariners will get their ducks in a row and go streaking again.
I asked folks in THE FEED to name a series, date, or range of dates and then we’ll see later who got it right or closest to it. And of course, we’re gonna rate some select takes using my patented and very scientific Mariners Hot Take Ranking System:
Here we go!
Poster Crafter Artisian says: “In July………of 2031.”
First off, I am not singling out this post/poster for the purpose of bullying, but it touches on a subject that I’ve long wanted to sound off on. I mean no personal offense by anything that follows. The Doomers have fully checked in at this point in the season and I can definitely understand why. As we all know, this team has been remarkably not fun to watch for most of the season so far as they’ve consistently played below their true talent level and expectations and have been riddled with injuries to key players. But! It is the year 2026, friends. The Mariners have made the playoffs in two of the last four seasons. The drought is over and the era of Mariners fan nihilism, doomerism, and fatalism are on the ropes, begging for one last clean shot to the dome for the knockout that all Mariners fans have so long deserved. There may be no joy without sorrow, but I implore us all to kill the doomer in our heads. That doomer no longer serves you. Do not replace it with blind ignorance, though. No, always retain a healthy level of skepticism for all things in life. But, expecting and assuming the Mariners will fail and finding comfort in that is something I believe we should strive to put to rest. I know it’s difficult. The warm blanket of apathy and gallows humor has always been there for us. And there may come a day when we will need that blanket again. But, it is not this day. It is not this season. This is Rick Rizz’s final season in the booth. This is the 50th season of Mariners baseball. If not now, when?
This take gets a BEAVAN for out-of-vogue doomerism, artisanally crafted or not.
Poster lockonstratos says: “Tomorrow is always another day, but imagine how it’s going to feel if the get-right feel-good win streak kicks off against the Angels and the Jays when they fly back home next week. Horrors banished, skin clear, day bright, smiling for the rest of the week type of deal. That’s the kind of dream I want to manifest.”
This take is already off to a good start with a George Kirby and Cole Young-fueled win over the Angels Monday night. Beating the brakes off the Angels always rules, but staying hot against the hated ornithological foes from north of the border? Mmm, yes, I would enjoy that very much, thank you. This take is not outrageous and feels fairly achievable, yet the joy it inspires is and would be immense, so I’m giving it a BOSIO for it’s workmanlike sense of grounded joy.
Poster Chris From Bothell wrote a long, very good post, but here are the most important parts: “M’s will surge in the final 3 weeks of the season, a 15-2 stretch that sees them beat every AL West team and win every series except the one against the Rockies, part of an overall 20-7 September. They will clinch at home against Houston, and if you freeze the correct frame as he walks back to the dugout after making the final out you will see the moment that Altuve realizes he is never going to a postseason game again unless he buys a ticket.
They’ll do it with a roster that has no one on the IL for the entire month of September, a roster that includes Donovan and Brash. They’ll do it with a resurgent power burst from Cal and the best individual months of Julio, Randy and Josh’s lives. They’ll do it with every starter going 6 strong, health intact and postseason rotation ready to rock thanks to Piggyback Power. They’ll do it because Munoz will not blow a save for the entire second half of the season.
And yes, they’ll do it with the worst defense in the American League because the Mariners care about winning, they just don’t care about your feelings. If the defense drives you nuts now just wait until they make at least 1 error in every game of the World Series but beat the Dodgers in 6 anyway.”
(/huge inhale)
YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ahem, yes, very good stuff, Chris. The image you painted of Altuve gave me such electric feelings of schadenfreude that if it comes true, I could probably power a mid-sized American city with it. So, final three weeks of the season? Let’s mark it down. That means a lot more heartburn between now and September, but the payoff could obviously be worth it. Ranking this take a CLIFF LEE not due to a scorched earth nature, but because the end result could power 1000 suns.
Okay, folks, if you missed your chance to make your pick for when the Mariners will get hot again, do so in the comments. Or, debate the merits of doomerism versus hope and measured optimism. Either way, fingers crossed the hot streak starts soon and we can all start to enjoy watching this team win more games together. Go Mariners.
