Battle
One thing I don’t like about modern promos is they often devolve into rap battles. For those unfamiliar, it’s when two people go back and forth with the hopes of getting ooohs and ahhhs from the crowd. It’s less about telling a story or painting a picture than it is about getting off a hot line that will etch itself in minds. That’s what Roman Reigns and CM Punk’s latest “face to face” felt like. After their
incredible initial meeting that told a story of hatred, envy, arrogance, and revealed so much about both men, this one felt…usual. It didn’t reveal anything new and sounded like a typical war of words between the rather than atypical. It wasn’t special.
Now, that doesn’t mean it didn’t get personal. Punk did say he’d bury Roman next to his father, which is a hell of a thing to say to anyone, scripted or otherwise. I didn’t think it was below the belt as pretty much nothing is off limits in pro wrestling; it’s basic graps. But that’s the rap battle aspect I mentioned a few sentences ago. It’s a cold line that elicited a response from the crowd and some awesome wordless acting from Roman, but it came at the end of what felt standard. Roman did the thing he usually does, sans Punk, where he talks about how much he runs the company. The company needs him on top and Punk is plan B. Everyone hates Punk, they think he’s a liar, he’s untrustworthy, and this is his last ride. Oh, and he threw in a couple “punk ass bitch” lines for good measure. Roman delivered it well but, again, it felt like old hat. Actually? It felt beneath them.
I did like the emotion Punk showed when he stopped Roman from leaving the ring. That showed Roman hit a nerve. I also cackled at “Samoan goblins” because of course I did.
But Punk also hit notes he hit the first time, most notably about Roman not being able to get anything done when solo. He only did it with more volume this time. Neither man was verbally loss or did anything outright objectionable, but it just didn’t land as hard for me as the first time. Part of the problem is Roman’s schedule puts so much weight on one interaction. There’s only but so much development they can accomplish with one meeting whenever Roman’s schedule allows for it. That’s way too much for these segments to carry on their shoulders, especially when it’s just one interaction.
I know their time together will ramp up the closer we get to WrestleMania. I also know I’m asking a lot of two guys who are capable of even more than that. I didn’t dislike the segment but it didn’t reach the level I expected. That’s a me problem.
B-Sides
- GUNTHER and Dragon Lee put on an incredible fight to start Raw. Most GUNTHER matches not with big name cats are David and Goliath battles. He plays the dominant fighter while his scrappy challenger battles from underneath in hopes of knocking down the giant. And with more than just a slingshot in hand. This followed that story as GUNTHER ran roughshod early. That’s actually an understatement to how he handled the match’s early goings. The Ring General targeted Dragon’s back, eventually powerbombing him on the ring apron and the announce table. Props to Dragon for selling all of this like they were the most painful moments in his life. This was the moment Dragon kicked into slingshot mode. He staged a ferocious comeback with reveals, counters, and putting the big man on his backside multiple times. Even the ending worked to Dragon’s benefit as he only tapped to the sleeper because GUNTHER removed his mask. It was an underhanded move that made Dragon look great in defeat while putting more heat on the guy with enough of it to power a small nuclear reactor.
- It’s hilarious that New El Grande Americano knows more Spanish and speaks better Spanish than the Original Recipe. Pretty sure the OG even spoke Italian that he thought was Spanish.
- Why am I bringing up linguistics? Because OG Americano wrestled Rayo Americano in another fun match that moved this story forward. OG El Grande got the W, but I continue to look forward to the match featuring Dos Americanos.
- Let’s rewind to the beginning of the episode since the next part won’t make sense without it. The Vision hit the ring understandably upset. This was our first real look at the Austin Theory/Logan Paul version of the group and I gotta say, meh. Austin wants to make “here’s my theory” a thing, Logan is a one note heel, and Paul E. does a lot of the grunt work. That was the low point of the segment for me because once the multiple masked men showed up, I knew what to expect. Seth Rollins smartly lured away Logan and Austin, which left Paul all by his very vulnerable lonesome. That led to Seth smashing Paul in the back with a chair (in the same place where Roman Reigns suffered the same fate more than a decade ago), and then stomping Paul’s face into the mat so hard that it looked like his face broke. Fantastic opening for the show.
- But wait, there’s more! As they wheeled Paul into the ambulance, Jimmy Uso attacked Logan as payback for his little brother. And guess who was in the ambulance’s driver seat? No, not an EMT or someone actually credentialed to drive it; that wouldn’t make any sense. The correct answer is LA Knight. That turned a fantastic opening into an excellent one that set the tone for the whole show. Austin called out Jimmy for a match, but the match barely got underway before Logan interfered. That led to a DQ and Jey Uso returning with a pair of crutches. He and brother Jimmy used the crutches to dispatch The Vision and celebrate in the ring. This is actually a cool way to get the tag champs to actually remember they’re tag champs while giving what’s left of The Vision a high profile match with more on the line than just bragging rights.
- WE HAVE A NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION! Penta defeated Dirty Dom for his WWE championship. The match was fine but it was the soap opera around it that was the other big part of the story. Part of the reason for Penta’s win goes to Finn Balor stopping JD McDonagh from helping the Dirty one. This goes back to several weeks ago when Dom kept demanding help from his brethren only for Finn to say “nah.” Well, Finn was a man of his word; he wanted Dom to do this on his own and he stuck to that belief. JD never got the chance to put a hammer in Dom’s hands and now we have a new champion. This match not only crowned a new champ but sowed more seeds for the inevitable Judgment Day breakup. Top notch stuff.
- AJ Lee wants a new challenger for her Intercontinental Championship. She wants someone to step up and it sounds like it’s either Lyra Valkyria, Bayley, or both as the teammates supported each other asking Adam Pearce for a shot.
- Props to Liv Morgan for using this moment to take all that sympathy she gained with those tears and flush it down the toilet. She cut a pre-taped promo that leaned into everything Stephanie Vaquer said about her; she is privileged. She did get the best training in the world. And it didn’t take her 10 years to get to WWE, so sucks to be you, Stephanie. This was simple and effective.
- Speaking of effective, Rusev called out Oba Femi. Well, be careful what you wish for, buddy. This wasn’t a match but a prelude to something larger. Oba manhandled Rusev like he was a cruiserweight though.
- Tons of drama with Rhea Ripley and Jade Cargill, in case you didn’t know. That possibly factored into Rhea’s segment with IYO SKY where she formally thanked her best friend and asked her to hold down Raw while she makes her way to SmackDown to confront Jade. Given, well, everything, I’m sure all eyes will be on these two on Friday.
This was a killer episode of Raw heading into the home stretch for Mania. My conflicted feelings on the ending aside, everything hummed the opening moments.
What say you, Cagesiders? And what do you think happened to Paul Heyman?!
