Dear Sunderland AFC Women,
There’s something special about women’s football and anyone that’s followed it for more than a few years knows that.
It’s not just the football itself — although that’s increased in quality, intensity and standards of professionalism at a remarkable pace. It’s also the connection, the sense of community and the feeling that players and supporters are building something together, brick by brick, mile by mile, season by season.
For a long time, that connection was the heartbeat of the women’s game. It
was what kept it alive when attendances were in double figures and the same faces turned up every week, home and away, rain or shine, win or lose.
That’s why this letter is being written.
It’s not borne of entitlement, bitterness or the belief that players owe fans anything extravagant. Instead, it comes from care, loyalty and of wanting the best for a team and a club that mean a great deal to a great many people. It comes from supporters who’ve spent their time and hard- earned money travelling up and down the country to follow Sunderland Women — only to find that at the end of too many away games this season, only a tiny handful of players come over to acknowledge them.
It’s disheartening. It’s upsetting. And it’s avoidable.
Let us be clear from the start: no one is demanding shirts, selfies and long conversations or grand gestures.
Supporters understand that players want to see their families and friends first, but when the stands are almost empty and the away end is made up of a small core of incredibly loyal fans that’ve travelled hundreds of miles with no fan buses, no club organised transport and no expectation of reward, it feels like the bare minimum for the team to come over properly and say “thank you”.
Not a distant clap nor a quick wave from the halfway line — a proper acknowledgement.
Five minutes. A moment of connection. An acknowledgment that the people standing there in the cold, the rain or the fading light have chosen to be there — not out of obligation, because they live round the corner or because they’ve been given free tickets. They’re there because they care about this team. They believe in the Lasses, they want to see women’s football grow, and they want Sunderland to be part of that growth.
This season hasn’t been terrible, but it hasn’t been what many expected.
Performances have been mixed and results have been inconsistent. There have been bright moments and frustrating ones but through it all, the same loyal supporters have continued to back the team, travelling to places that aren’t easy to reach, and often at great personal cost. They’ve continued to show up.
That’s why it stings when players speak about “needing fans to stick with them” in post-match interviews.
Supporters do stick with them. They always have and they always will. But it becomes harder to hear those words when, after travelling four or five hundred miles, supporters are left standing alone at the end of a match while only two or three players come over to say “thank you”. It creates a disconnect; a sense that the bond that once defined this team is slipping.
Women’s football isn’t men’s football.
That’s not an insult to either — it’s simply a fact. The relationship between players and supporters in the women’s game has always been different. It’s always been closer, more personal, more grounded in mutual respect. That connection is one of the reasons the women’s game has grown so quickly and why people fall in love with it. It’s one of the reasons supporters feel so invested in the players and the club.
When that connection weakens even slightly, it matters.
It matters because the women’s game is still growing and because supporters are not turning up in their thousands at away games. They’re turning up in small numbers — often fewer than twenty and sometimes fewer than ten.
These aren’t casual fans. These are the hardcore supporters that’ll stick by the team through thick and thin; the ones who’ll still be there when results dip, when confidence drops, when the league table looks less flattering and when the club needs them most.
Don’t push them away.
It might seem trivial to some but small things matter, building trust, loyalty and the kind of community that women’s football has always been proud of. When supporters feel ignored or overlooked — even unintentionally — it chips away at that foundation.
Let me speak personally for a moment.
I don’t travel to every away game, but I travel to enough to be familiar with the atmosphere. I know the people who go; the commitment they show, the miles they put in, the money they spend and the sacrifices they make.
I drove to Birmingham in torrential rain to watch us lose 5-0 on the opening day of the season, standing there soaked through, disappointed, frustrated, but still clapping the players at the end — because that’s what supporters do, and I wasn’t alone. Everyone else who had travelled did the same but there was no anger. No vitriol. No abuse. Just support.
That’s why this letter isn’t intended as an attack.
It’s not a criticism of the players at home games, where the appreciation is always clear and always valued. It’s a plea for consistency. If the players can show that gratitude at Eppleton, they can show it at away grounds too. The number of supporters is smaller, not larger. The time required is less, not more. The impact is greater, not weaker.
Supporters aren’t asking for the world. They’re asking for a moment, a gesture and a sign that the connection still matters.
Many of us do more than simply turn up.
The supporters’ group designs, orders and sells its own merchandise. Scarves have become a huge part of match days, held aloft and spun in the air in moments of joy and defiance.
Fans also create vlogs, YouTube channels, podcasts, websites and social media pages dedicated to promoting the team.
They spend hours editing videos, writing articles, recording episodes and spreading the word. They do it because they care, because they want people to talk about Sunderland Women and because they want the club to grow.
Some supporters spend their own money — not the club’s, not the supporters group’s — but their own, to buy flags and banners to decorate the ground.
I’ve personally spent close to — if not in excess of — £1000 on flags alone. Others have spent similar amounts on travel, equipment, merchandise and promotional work. None of us want medals, recognition or special treatment. We simply want to feel that the effort is appreciated.
When players walk past without coming over, even unintentionally, it sends a message. It suggests that the connection is not as important as it once was, that the supporters that’ve been there since the beginning are no longer part of the story and that that bond that made this club unique is fading.
I don’t believe that’s what the players intend to happen.
I don’t believe there’s any malice or disrespect intended. Instead, I believe it’s an oversight; a habit that’s slipped and a routine that’s changed without anyone noticing. That’s why this letter is being written now, before the disconnect grows wider, frustration turns into resentment and loyal supporters begin to feel pushed out.
We don’t want to be pushed out. We want to be part of this journey, to celebrate the highs and endure the lows, to see the club grow, succeed and thrive. We want to be there when the team climbs the table, when young players break through, and when the club reaches new milestones.
We want to be part of the story — but that requires connection, acknowledgement and for the players to meet supporters halfway.
This isn’t about demanding more than is reasonable.
It’s about asking for the bare minimum — a few minutes at the end of a match, a walk over to the away end, a “thank you” that feels genuine and not rushed, and a moment that reminds supporters why they fell in love with this team in the first place.
To the players who do come over every week: thank you.
Your effort is noticed, your appreciation is felt and your presence means more than you know. To those who perhaps don’t realise the impact of staying away, please understand that this isn’t an attack — it’s a reminder, a plea from supporters that care deeply about you and the club.
We know you work hard. We know you give everything on the pitch and that the season has been challenging. We know the pressure you are under and we see the sacrifices you make. We respect all of that. We admire all of that. We support you through all of that.
All we ask is that you support us too — not with wins, although those are always welcome — and not with trophies, although we dream of them and not with grand gestures or dramatic moments. Just with a simple acknowledgement that the people who travel hundreds of miles to watch you play matter; that their commitment is valued and their presence is appreciated.
Women’s football has grown because of the bond between the players and supporters.
Sunderland Women has been built on that bond. Let’s not lose it now. Let’s protect it, strengthen it and ensure that the next generation of supporters sees the same connection that drew so many of us in.
To any player reading this: I’m not sorry for writing it.
I’m speaking for myself and for others who feel the same. We are not angry, demanding or entitled. We’re simply disheartened. And we want things to be better — not just for us, but for the club, the team and the future of women’s football.
We’ll keep travelling, supporting and believing. All we ask is that you meet us next to the pitch and say “thank you”.
A few minutes. A few words. A small gesture.
It would mean the world.
