PSG 2 – 0 Liverpool
PSG: Doue 11’, Thedudewiththelongnamethatidontwanttolearnhowtospell 65’,
Pre-Match
Well. Going away to PSG. Despite actually winning in Paris last year, it’s hard to forget how completely dominated we were there, and how we deserved to lose across two legs. And that was obviously a much better and more competent Liverpool side. So. This will be fun.
First Half
Liverpool have set up uhhhh defensively, appearing to have a flat back 5 and not much ambition or ability to get up the pitch. Not that it matters,
because PSG are still slicing through our defense, and then score on approximately the 23,457th deflected goal Liverpool have conceded this season.
Meanwhile, Joe Gomez gets booked for a challenge that wasn’t yellow-worthy, and Mac Allister goes into the book for one that absolutely was. And of course PSG threw in a bookable challenge and were not carded. So. In addition to Liverpool being predictably shit, so are the refs.
As teh half comes to a close, Liverpool have been thoroughly outplayed and are lucky to only be down 1-0. PSG have cut through Liverpool’s—for lack of a better word—defense with ease, and Liverpool have yet to record a single shot.
Second Half
Well, Liverpool recorded a shot this half. That’s an improvement. Sure, it was from well outside the area and is now on a collision course with the Artemis II spacecraft, but it was a shot!
Well, the dude with the really long name that I don’t want to learn how to spell just walked through our defense to make it 2-0, and it feels like the floodgates are about to open up.
Konate really wanted to give away a pen, but accidentally whiffed on the tackle and VAR overturned the onfield decision. It was a spiritual pen, and I’m lowkey angry at the ref from denying us the complete mental breakdown that we so desperately crave.
Slot makes a quadruple sub: Gakpo, Jones, Isak, and Robertson. Dom, Wirtz, Hugo, and Kerkez are off.
Final Thoughts
Well, that was bad, but at least it’s over. Until next week, when we have to do this again, and get outplayed at Anfield. And then we can go back to concentrating on also shitting the bed in the league.
