You want to know what’s fun? This.
This scene, pulled from 2022’s Bullet Train, exemplifies just about everything I love about this silly, somewhat forgotten action comedy. It’s stylish. It’s meticulous.
It’s a bit indulgent. Most importantly, it’s ambitious.
Bullet Train didn’t get good reviews when it came out and, to this day, I’m trying to figure out why. It may not be an instant classic, but I’ve yet to have anything but a delightful time re-engaging with it, especially after getting down to its sophomoric level. And if you’ve got Brad Pitt, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry doing stunt comedy, you’re piling on the gluttony of charming, affable goofball energy. Honestly, I find it kind of impossible to have a bad time with this one.
To betray myself for a second, I enjoy Bullet Train way more than I enjoyed Mizzou’s 27-24 loss to Alabama last weekend. I’m not even sure I can categorize them in the same “kicking back, having a good time” vein. And you best believe I’d much rather watch Brad Pitt stumble his way through a Drunken Fist, psuedo-zen assassin part than peek through my fingers at another Beau Pribula floating interception.
So why am I comparing the two? Other than the fact that I have a deadline to meet? It’s because I find there to be something inescapably pleasurable about them both.
Sam kind of stole my initial idea for a column with his Pourover this week, so I’ll just borrow from him for a second:
Mizzou needed to be just a little bit better. They weren’t.
It doesn’t mean they can’t be.
That second line kind of sums up how I felt walking away from that defeat. Stinging? A bit. More informed about Mizzou’s level as a team? You bet.
You see, I think this Mizzou team has the potential for greatness. They’ve got all the right pieces, after all. A star running back. A deep pass-catching corp. An ascendant quarterback. A hellacious defense. A charismatic coach.
The great teams have all of those things. Some of them have a bit extra, but we’re not talking about the best teams. We’re talking about the great ones. Ohio State is one of the best teams. Alabama is one of the best teams.
Mizzou now has the pieces to be in that secondary group — the great ones. The ones that can push the best teams, and even beat them, on any given night. It’s probably one of the only times in Mizzou history when we’ve been able to say that with any confidence.
Was Mizzou on that level against ‘Bama on Saturday? Hell no. As one person put it to me after the game, “You played Alabama to the last drive with your B- game.” And B- seems about fair. Pribula wasn’t at his best and made a fair amount of damn mistakes. Hardy was largely ineffective. The defense showed cracks.
AND YET. Mizzou was a few plays away from leapfrogging one of the best teams in the country in the College Football Playoff conversation. Last year’s team couldn’t say that. Look how far these Tigers have come in such a short amount of time.
So, yes, Bullet Train may have one too many subplots running through its many cars, and Joey King might be a total disaster of a villain. Not all of Brad Pitt’s looney tunes antics are effective character-building choices and the rapid fire dialogue isn’t always Tarantino-esque. But Bullet Train has the pieces for something great, even if it never quite gets there. It’s trying. And sometimes, that’s enough for me to have hope for the future.
For being a Percy and fighting the good fight against the ultimate Diesel, Mizzou gets three out of five vague silver briefcases that Bad Bunny and Zazie Beetz will kill theselves over.
