In a world of good basketball, these are two games!
Today begins the 2026 Big Ten Men’s Basketball Tournament—LIVE!—from Chicago, Illinois.
Should today’s games be happening? That’s a highly-subjective question that requires you to remember that last year there were only 15 teams allowed into the Big Ten Tournament and that this year, in the women’s tournament—won by UCLA by 50 points in a hilarious ass-beating of Iowa—only 16 teams qualified.
This is all made up, you shouldn’t care, and we’re idiots
for doing this.
In this article…
- An ode to Nate Bittle
- How “on the hot seat” are Buzz Williams and Mike Rhoades?
- Does Nick Martinelli hold Northwestern back?
- William Miller chatter
Read on for all that, some Big Ten Tournament previews, and that comment section where you can tell me why I’m an idiot.
As a reminder, join our 2026 Big Ten Tournament Bracket Challenge. Prize goes to the winner. I think.
Day 1: GAMES. OF. SHAME.
All games at the United Center, Chicago, Illinois; all times CT.
[17] Maryland Terrapins vs. [16] Oregon Webfoots
4pm | Peacock | UO -3.5 | O/U 138.5
I will truly miss Nate Bittle when he’s gone. The former five-star never quite hit the peaks that, perhaps, were expected of him at Oregon, but a love me a mulleted, thinning-hair center who can step out and hit a three. Think Alex Olah, but Oregonian and with flow.
Couple players and/or players-in-the-making to watch: Kwame Evans Jr. for the Ducks, and Andre Mills for the Terps. The former, a junior forward, has gone for double-digits in six straight, including a double-double in the Webfoots’ loss at Northwestern. The latter, a frosh guard from Boston, has gotten the green light upon untering Big Ten play and has run with it, going for 39 against Northwestern and with only a cold 3/14 night for 9 points interrupting ten double-digit performances in eleven games.
Will either be with their teams next year? I’m sorry to ask the question and walk away from it, but I don’t care.
This game features two teams content to pack it in and play defense, plod along at a roughly bottom-100 pace, and just play out the string until they all transfer in the off-season, because Altman’s a legend and not going anywhere, while this is just the first of Buzz Williams’s 2.5 years in College Park before his firing at 33-48 (11-19 B1G).
[18] Penn State Nittany Lions vs. [15] Northwestern Wildcats
6:30pm | Peacock | NU -6.5 | O/U 144.5
Did I mention I went to the Northwestern-Minnesota game on Saturday night?
Boy, if you all think I am furious at baseline, imagine my ire after spending fifty goddamn dollars* to watch a Northwestern-at-Minnesota basketball game from that vantage point, seeing the ‘Cats be flummoxed by a basic 2-3 zone, and then allowing myself to get roped back in, only to watch them miss two fucking free throws in crunch time.
*Don’t let friends buy tickets for you. Love you, SA.
The lead news story for Penn State on CBS Sports is currently “Mike Rhoades Defiant When Asked About Penn State Future,” to which I have to say…why?
Not “why is he on the hot seat?”, I guess — even I can see that Penn State was 3-17 in Big Ten play, winning those three games by a combined 7 points (77-75 over Minnesota, 63-60 at Washington, 71-69 over Iowa lmao).
Just…why be defiant, Mike?
Is this what you want? To coach in the Bryce Jordan Center for the rest of your life? You had it at VCU: a winnable conference with the occasional at-large bid, a vocal and supportive fanbase, the ability to run a quirky style against bad teams. Did you think the Big Ten was the place to scale it up?
Pull a Richard Pitino—albeit with marginally less success—Air Force could use a new coach. So could Tarleton State and/or San Diego. Heck, maybe Northern Iowa will be looking if Ben Jacobson finally answers the call and heads elsewhere. Jump ship, hit your stride elsewhere, and come back in 4-5 years as a marginal Big East coach.
…anyway.
I’ve allegedly said this elsewhere, but one of the biggest issues with Northwestern under two-time Big Ten scoring leader Nick Martinelli is that unless you have four other players who can space the floor and knock down jump shots, The Detective’s back-to-the-basket, flips-and-spins-and-uncomfortable-evangelical-proselytizing game doesn’t quite work. Now, don’t get me wrong—I’d follow Nicky Meatballs into the Hell that his very personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ created, in addition to watching over him as he leads Northwestern into battle. But this winter we’ve seen how it can put a limit on Northwestern’s offensive output if the Wildcats’ other contributors aren’t able to make space for it—both physically and with their shooting.
All that is to say I have no idea how this game goes. Northwestern was insanely hot when they hosted the Nittany Lions in January, throttling them by 21 points behind a 34-point effort from Martinelli as well as 13 assists from frosh guard Jake West and a double-double from mercurial and growing-pains-addled frosh forward Tre Singleton. Assuming Northwestern finds its defensive rotations and gets back to the pack-n-trap approach that assistant coach Chris Lowery loves so much, I think they’re OK—Penn State is biblically bad (32%, 292nd nationally) from deep and allows opponents to shot a biblically-worse 50% from the field (362nd!!!). Assuming the ‘Cats don’t struggle with the Lions’ pressure, they should survive to face Indiana.
Here, if you so choose, is an open thread for the day’s bad basketball.
Please check out the bracketology article, if I actually posted one this morning (there’s the fun of making this solo-blogging lifestyle up as I go), and join our Big Ten Men’s Basketball Bracket Challenge—picks close at 4:15pm CT, and unlike William Miller, I’m not just going to keep making shit up from I mean, reading the Book of Daniel and changing the date and time!
