Tottenham Hotspur, somehow, is in the Round of 16 of the Champions League, but they sure didn’t look like they belonged there. Two incredible howlers from Antonin Kinsky, who hadn’t started a match since October, led to two Atletico Madrid goals inside 15 minutes, another Micky van de Ven slip led to another, and Spurs found themselves down 4-0 in Madrid before a half hour had passed. Kinsky got pulled for Guglielmo Vicario Pedro Porro pulled one back for Spurs, but otherwise it was 90 minutes of abject
humiliation for Tottenham on the biggest stage in club football.
Igor Tudor made a double sub at halftime, bringing on Conor Gallagher and Dominic Solanke to try and cut into Atleti’s goal, but it all went (even more) pear-shaped in the 55th minute. Richarlison had a powerful header well saved by Atleti keeper Jan Oblak, and the ball fell neatly to Antoine Griezmann, who slotted past Vicario on a blistering counterattack. Dominic Solanke added a second goal late in the half after picking off a bad outlet pass from Oblak and hammering it home.
Match reactions
- There is really nothing we learned from this match, nor that we could learn from it.
- People have been calling for Antonin Kinsky to start for a while now because they were not satisfied with the play of Guglielmo Vicario, and he finally gets a start on the biggest stage in football and he slips on a simple out-pass, gives the ball away right in front of his own net, and Atletico score. You can’t make this shit up. And he might have stopped it if he had just extended his arm!
- I swear to God this team is cursed. Atleti’s second goal happens after Van de Ven slips on the turf and gives up an easy goal. What is going ON? Did Spurs bring the wrong spikes?
- Kinsky. Oh my word, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a keeper fall apart so spectacularly and so early in such a big match. Also I don’t think I’ve ever seen a non-injury related keeper substitution inside 20 minutes before. Kinsky is speed-running the Loris Karius career arc. I honestly feel bad for him on a personal level, but like, bro.
- There really isn’t any point analyzing anything that came after the fourth goal inside a half hour. Like, I could talk about some silver linings like Pedro Porro’s (very nice) goal, Solanke’s (very nice) goal, or the fact that apart from the three slips that led to goals Spurs more or less played Atleti even, but honestly — who cares? Three stupid goals inside 15 minutes, two from slips and one from a terrible outpass, and without those honestly maybe Spurs get a result today. But they didn’t. Que sera sera.
- This Tottenham team is extremely bad, appallingly constructed, and completely shorn of confidence, and yet I still don’t think I’ve seen a single positive thing out of Igor Tudor’s tenure since his arrival. He was the wrong choice at the wrong time and whoever decided to put him in charge needs to be sacked tomorrow. And, yes, also this is on the players — these are professional footballers and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Spurs side play with less confidence and care than these bozos.
- And just for fun, let’s also add in what could be a double concussion after a collision between Palhinha and Romero. Cool.
- Spurs’ next match: away at Anfield against Liverpool. Remember, as bad as things are, they can ALWAYS get worse.
