Patience is still required. Tottenham Hotspur played Manchester United off the Old Trafford pitch in the first half of their Premier League clash on Saturday, but Spurs’ inability to be clinical with the (numerous) chances they created resulted in a dramatic come-from-behind draw. This was after Rodrigo Bentancur was two-handed shoved to the ground by Luke Shaw, saw the red mist, and made head-to-head contact with Shaw in the ensuing scrum, resulting in a straight red and a three match ban.
The end
result: Spurs are certainly better than their record, but they are still winless in their first six matches of the season, with three points from a possible 18. A much needed win could come next weekend against newly-promoted Coventry City and Spurs’ old foe Frank Lampard.
Hey, guess what? It’s Spooky Season! It’s the time of year when households decorate their front yards with ghosts, skeletons and ghoulies, TV shows are full of horror movie ads and special Halloween episodes, and people start once again listening to… let’s call it “atmospheric” music.
Over the past few years I’ve slowly cultivated a “Spooky Season” playlist in Spotify and I thought, with the weather cooling and the mood turning to the haunted and scary, that might be the makings of a decent theme. Once again this is one of those themes where there are no “bad” songs — all of them are great, and are not ranked in any particular order. So here are your Tottenham Hotspur player ratings for their draw at Old Trafford to the theme of Spooky Season songs.
5 stars: Eels — “Fresh Blood”
One of my favorite spooky season songs. “Hombre Lobo” was the first Eels album I ever listened to and it hooked me with the werewolf thematic thread throughout and some generally creepy and atmospheric songs. I always thought this song should’ve been the theme to AMC’s The Walking Dead show and after a quick google apparently I wasn’t the only one because some guy actually made a kick-ass trailer based on this song and the comics.
No Tottenham players in this category.
4 stars: Poe – “Haunted”
Coming from Poe’s second — and most recent — album by the same name, this song (and the whole album) have a thematic connection with one of the great postmodern horror novels of all time — Mark Z. Danielevski’s “House of Leaves.” Poe and Mark are siblings, and Poe wrote this album while her brother was writing the book. It serves as a companion to House of Leaves, and also a poignant response to the then-recent death of their father.
Archie Gray (Community – 3.5): Honestly? Archie was great. Defended well on the right flank, linked up well with Kudus and ran like a demon. Is he… just a right back now? If so, he’s starting to turn into a pretty good one.
Destiny Udogie (Community – 3.5): Quite possibly his best match since his return from injury. Dynamic on the left flank, linked up well with Sávio, and went flat-out to recover defensively. Outstanding game.
Sandro Tonali (Community – 3.5): If games like that are why we bought Tonali, then I’ll start to revise my opinion on him. He was everywhere at Old Trafford. Outstanding cross to Dom Solanke’s head for the equalizing goal.
3.5 stars: Beck — “In the Night”
This is a recent addition to the spooky songs cohort — Beck’s first album in seven years was released just a little while ago. Beck isn’t known for his atmospheric music, but he nails the vibe here with a modal gut-string guitar driven ballad complete with soaring strings. I’m currently obsessed with this song, and the video, featuring legendary French actor Denis Levant.
Antonin Kinsky (Community – 3.5): No real complaints here. Made a couple of nice stops, couldn’t do anything about the goal conceded. Continues to distribute well from the back.
Marcos Senesi (Community – 3.0): No one will ever accuse him of being fast which worried me when Micky van de Ven started on the bench, but he’s an excellent passer from deep positions. So long as Spurs are tasked with taking and holding possession, Senesi will make a lot of sense in some matches. A fine match.
Lucas Bergvall (Community – 3.5): Look, I was worried when I saw Lucas starting in midfield but he paired extremely well with Tonali in the center. Pressed well, and was full of energy and drive, which freed up Tonali to be a little more creatively free.
Sávio (Community – 3.5): Has that WOW factor where he looks unplayable at times and can get past his man, but his final ball, either a shot or cutback to an open teammate, still needs a little work. But boy howdy, you sure can see the potential there, can’t you?
3 stars: Lord Huron — “The Yawning Grave”
Lord Huron is my favorite band, and they’re certainly not afraid of embracing the darkness, so I knew I had to include of their songs here. This one, from their supernatural horror-themed album “Strange Trails,” is one of their spookiest.
Jan Paul van Hecke (Community – 3.0): He’s getting a lot of stick but I honestly didn’t think he defended that poorly. He’s only a “bad defender” in comparison to Cuti Romero, one of the best defenders in world football. JP was fine.
Conor Gallagher (Community – 3.5): He’s STILL not a 10, but he did a cromulent impression of one at Old Trafford. No one will deny his work rate and he buzzed around the pitch like a hornet.
Mohammed Kudus (Community – 3.0): Had a few bright moments but his finishing was a little scary. Still, worked hard and was frequently getting by his defender. Noticeably tired in the second half, rightfully subbed.
James Maddison (Community – 3.0): Still not fully fit but every time he comes in he looks more and more like his old self.
Micky van de Ven (Community – 3.0): Still not sure why he didn’t start this match considering he only played two matches in three weeks and spent the last week back in London. Replaced Udogie and played some left back before switching to CB near the end of the match while Spurs were down a man.
Roberto De Zerbi (Community – 3.0): Was flabbergasted by his lineup, but… it kinda worked? So maybe I’m the dummy.
2.5 stars: Tom Waits — “What’s He Building In There?”
Less a song and more a spoken poem/story accompanied by weird noises, Tom Waits is nonetheless the perfect vessel for a scary yarn. With a voice that was described by music critic Daniel Durchholz as “like it was soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months, and then taken outside and run over with a car,” Waits’ raspy drawl tells a story of what he calls “the neighbor that we all become.”
Dominic Solanke (Community – 2.5): He gets an extra half star for the equalizing goal, which was an instinctual and lovely touch with his head, but otherwise he was absolutely hot garbage. This was a vintage Nacer Chadli performance — run around for the whole of the match doing nothing, then pop up at the death with an important goal. But I haven’t forgotten the first part of that last phrase.
Omar Marmoush (Community – 2.5): Not sure why he didn’t start which feels like a bad decision from De Zerbi. But when he did come in he didn’t offer much.
2 stars: William Bolcom — “Graceful Ghost Rag”
Ragtime piano is very nearly the sole realm of Scott Joplin (think “Maple Leaf Rag” or “The Entertainer”) but modern composers and musicologists have now and then embraced it late in the 20th century. None did it better than composer William Bolcom, who wrote a hefty corpus of modern rags that ranged from the traditional to the downright weird. I don’t think there are any better than his tryptich of “Three Ghost Rags,” of which “Graceful Ghost” is the first. I’m a hopeless pianist, but this piece, and the way Spencer Myer plays it, makes me wish I had stayed with it when I was a child. The B-theme, which starts at 1:10” on this video, is some of the most unsettling and genuinely spooky music I’ve ever heard. It’s weird. It’s spooky. It’s incredible. Put on some headphones and give it a good listen, because I swear I can see spirits dancing around me when I do.
Rodrigo Bentancur (Community – 1.5): F—in’ idiotic. Yes, Stuart Atwell cocked up the whole situation and yes Luke Shaw should’ve ALSO been sent off. But Lolo saw the red mist and you just absolutely can’t push your head into something like that. There’s no defending it. It was stupid and possibly cost Spurs a win.
1 star (not really): Eartha Kitt — “I Want to Be Evil”
Y’all, I had so much fun putting this together and it was seriously difficult to choose only the songs that are here. And I REALLY struggled to choose the 1-star category — I had so many good options to choose from. But in the end I turned to the age of jazz and the iconic Eartha Kitt, performing “I Want to Be Evil,” which I think is one of her best songs. Eartha had a reputation as something of a bad girl, which was patently unfair and likely spread after she was effectively blackballed for speaking out against the Vietnam War at a 1968 White House luncheon and reportedly making Lady Bird Johnson cry. Eartha Kitt is the best. Rest in power, queen. And thanks to all of you for listening and reading.
No Tottenham Hotspur players were as bad as blackballing Eartha Kitt. Why would you do such a thing?
Tom Carroll Memorial Non-Rating
Mateus Fernandes
