Pre-match
Paolo Vanoli picked Marco Brescianini over Rolando Mandragora in the middle and stuck with Albert Guðmundsson up front in the absence of Moise Kean and Roberto Piccoli. Gian Piero Gasperini trotted out his expected XI, with Paulo Dybala only fit enough for the bench and Nicolò Pisilli filling in for him. The real news came from Cremona, where Tijjani Noslin’s late winner sealed a 1-2 win for Lazio; the only way Fiorentina can get relegated now is if the club fails to pick up another point the rest
of the way and Cremonese wins out. The first is a distinct possibility but the second isn’t.
First half
There were two ways this could’ve gone. Fiorentina, free from terror of the drop, could’ve played loose and caused problems; or could’ve headed to the beach early. Initially, it looked like the former. Vanoli’s boys were in control of the first 10 minutes, winning a corner almost immediately and keeping the ball in Roma’s half. It was an obvious trap to any seasoned viewer and sure enough, the Giallorossi slammed the door after 13 minutes. Donyell Malen carved the centerbacks and stung the crossbar via a deflection. From the ensuing corner, Gianluca Mancini (Fiorentina beffata!) headed home at the near post.
Did it get better? Reader, it did not. In fact, it took just 4 minutes for the hosts to double their lead. Robin Gosens spun out on the wing and Fiorentina’s defense entered a scramble mode that only ended after Roma worked the ball across to Wesley, who slammed it home.
There was no response from the visitors other than the haggard expressions of people who’ve lost interest in their jobs and are emotionally on vacation even while their bodies remain in the workplace. David de Gea made a good stop on Malen. Fiorentina won another corner. There were a couple into the Roma penalty area. It didn’t matter. None of us were fooled. When Mario Hermoso added the third following another defensive breakdown on the left—this time it was Nicolò Fagioli and Jack Harrison failing to stick with runners—it felt like nothing less than the inexorable grinding of fate.
When Luca Zufferli blew for halftime, he might as well have ended the game. Because this game had been over for half an hour.
Second half
Vanoli hooked Marin Pongračić, Albert Guðmundsson, and Harrison at the half, introducing Pietro Comuzzo, Fabiano Parisi (for the first time since March), and perhaps as a bit of meat thrown to the base, Riccardo Braschi. The youngster nearly repaid that faith by jinking to the edge of the box and firing in the first couple minutes but his shot crashed back off the upright. Fiorentina showed a bit more character, generating the odd opportunity, but the Giallorossi remained miles better. Malen had another deflected drive bounce off the crossbar (de Gea got a miraculous hand to it) but in the end it didn’t matter. Than man Malen hung one up and Pisilli headed home, with Comuzzo looking pretty bad in the process.
That’s all she wrote. Nothing else important occurred. Fiorentina is about as trash as it’s ever been and that’s saying something. This version of the team is on par with Stefano Pioli 2.0, late stage Paulo Sousa, 2020 Vincenzo Montella, or Delio Rossi. What a miserable Monday.
Full time
Goals: Mancini 13’ (ass. Pisilli), Wesley 17’ (ass. Hermoso), Hermoso 34’ (ass. Koné), Pisilli 59’ (ass. Malen)
Cards: Hermoso 48’, El Sharaawy 90’+2; Pongračić 25’, Parisi 67’
What we learned
-Wild that we’re relying on Cremonese to not win a game because this Fiorentina isn’t picking up a single point the rest of the way.
-It’s not fair to judge Vanoli on his team’s performance right now. These players are defeated, discouraged, disengaged, and completely checked out. If they can’t give even a modicum of effort, that’s not his fault. However, his failure to summon forth any fire from their shambling corpses means that he’s probably lost his small chance of getting this job next year. A serious club can’t reward performances like this.
-Braschi did more in 45 minutes than Guðmundsson, Solomon, Piccoli, and Harrison have combined in the past 5 games. Give him the keys the rest of the way. At the very least, he’s out there trying, unlike his senior colleagues.
-I would say that we ought to blow this team up, gather the ashes, seal them into a lead tube, and drop it into the deepest ocean. But I’m too fond of anglerfish and other such denizens of the abyssal plain to expose them to such a risk.
What’s next
Fiorentina’s got 3 more games: vs Genoa, at Juventus, and vs Atalanta. A point against the Grifoni next week will mathematically guarantee survival, although Cremonese failing to beat any of Pisa, Udinese, or Como would do the same. Again, I think the latter scenario is more likely than the Viola harvesting a draw against any of those remaining 3. Juve and Como are both scrapping for Europe and, more importantly, are just better, more functional teams. Genoa fits into that category too. Hell, every team in Italy is more functional than this one.
Whatever. It probably doesn’t matter. None of it. We’re all going to die and sports are one of the ways we distract ourselves from our own fragile mortality, our meaninglessness in an infinite universe that didn’t ask for us to show up, won’t acknowledge our existence, and won’t remember us when we’re gone. And even with that out the open, next year’s going to be Fiorentina’s year. Until it isn’t.
