I said no James Franklin questions. NO JAMES FRANKLIN QUESTIONS! So now we have multiple ones. Great, huh? Anyway…
FOOTBALL
What hope does anyone without a top 10 budget have in college football anymore?
– frontinhawkeyes
WSR: It’s the same as it always was: None. Hope for a big bowl or a playoff berth thanks to an easy schedule, because that’s all you can get.
MNW: Hope for what—a national championship? None, but I already had none.
I hope my team beats yours, beats his^^^, and beats actual members of the Big Ten football conference. Especially wisconsin and Illinois.
This is what I keep coming back to as I try to mentally work through the “Could it be 2007 all over again???” takes: when you have teams that have such incomprehensible financial advantages (legally, within the rules of the game, etc etc etc, whatever Oregon and Ohio State fans need to feel like this isn’t a complaint but rather a recognition of the way the game works now), a playoff does even less for me. The cream is going to rise to the top, and now the rest of us don’t even get the Rose Bowl—or even a free Bloomin’ Onion—for our troubles. And that sucks.
BRT: Hope for some exciting games and general competence. As enshittification engulfs all areas of life, including college football, maybe also some hope that you’ll have more free time to pursue other hobbies. Yay!
RockyMtnBlue: Don’t be silly. There is no hope. There was never hope. Except to beat your rival. But only if they suck this year. This is what makes OTE so great. We can cling to little things like rivalries and shared love of sickos football. We don’t have to be natty contenders to have a nice Saturday.
HWAHSQB: I care very little about playoffs, but going to the Citrus Bowl last year was incredibly fun as was the John Paddock game at Minnesota before that. I will keep going to games and hope they are ones where I get to talk trash to an elderly woman who was talking trash to me first because that is why we all do this.
HoustonBoiler: MNW nailed it when he asked “hope for what?” Look, there have always been the haves and the have-nots. Sure, occasionally a have-not can rise up and have a moment in the sun, but there have only been maybe a dozen or so schools that could win a national championship in football in any given year. Did you really think that NIL and revenue sharing would put Ohio State, Oregon, and Michigan on a level playing field with Northwestern, Iowa, and Purdue. The haves will always have more resources for their program and players. The best we can hope for is beating our rivals and maybe going to a second-tier bowl game. And hey, beating Tennessee in Nashville is fun!
Going on the assumption that Big Game James’ supersized buyout makes him (somewhat) safe for 2025; on a scale of 0 (Kirk Ferentz) to 10 (Chris Ash) how would the ‘writers’ grade the hot seats for Luke Fickell, PJ Fleck, and Jonathan Smith? -ziowa9
WSR: Ficklell’s chair is on fire and he’s trying to convince everyone he likes it, Fleck is at actual 0 and not Kirk Ferentz’s “He’s going to get Bobby Bowden’d here in the not-too-distant future” and Smith is probably at about a 5. Watch that space next season, though.
MNW: DID SOMEONE SAY SUPERSIZED
There, that’s the level of nuance you expected.
BRT: Fickell is in flames, poor lad. Fleck is probably only around a 3 – he seems to have figured out how to placate the powers that be in Minnesota and seems to be navigating all of that comfortably enough. The loss to OSU was bad, but I’m guessing by the end of the season, Minnesota will not be the only team with that result against them. Jonathan Smith is maybe a 3 or 4 – it’s too early for him to be canned, and honestly, I’m not sure what MSU’s expectations really are.
Brian: Fleck and Smith shouldn’t even be on this list. I’ve never understood why Fleck gets the grief he gets. What he’s doing at Minnesota is more than commendable. As for Smith, I’m not sure people understand exactly what kind of shape Tucker left that program. Both are very good coaches, and if their respective administrations know what they’re doing, they’ll hang onto them.
RockyMtnBlue: I thoroughly enjoy the vaguely shifty football of the Big10 West, but it’s not like I follow those programs in detail. (shut up, Sparty. You know where you spiritually belong.) Still, I’d say Fleck’s seat is tepid at best. Minnesota is (probably smart enough to know they likely can’t do better. Smith’s seat is only a little warm as recruiting has been solid and he’s trying to rebuild from the absolute dumpster fire Mel Tucker left. Finally, Fickell’s makes Chernobyl reactor 4 on April 27, 1986 look cool. Mgoblog actually compared him to Brady Hoke this week. I was almost as wrong about that hire as I was about Scott Frost.
HWASHQB: As a minnesota Minnesota resident, I can honestly say I think our Lord and Savior Peejus is about a 1. People aren’t fired up about it. Fickell is a 7, but a few Packer losses away from a 9. Funny how fast those Badger fans that used to talk shit to me want to change the subject these days but if the Packers aren’t distracting Sconnies from the Badger dumpster fire, look out! Smith is probably a year away from moving to high up this list so I’ll say a 3.
HoustonBoiler: I have super secret video of a wisconsin football coaching staff meeting:
With respect to Fleck, I don’t follow Minnesota that closely so I will say he’s pretty safe. I mean he’s halfway to bowl eligibility and I expect the Gophers can win 3 or 4 more. Smith should also be okay. Michigan State has won 3 with 7 games to play and doesn’t play Ohio State or Oregon. Sure, the Spartans will lose to Indiana but they should win some of the others and make it to bowl eligibility.
What about James Franklin’s clock management at the end of the first half on Saturday? – Andy Davis
WSR: I’m getting old. I’ve seen a lot of football, and that includes a lot of bad football full of dumb coaching. And I think it’s possible that Franklin’s work on Saturday before halftime was the absolute worst, dumbest performance from a coach I have ever seen. Absolutely deplorable and stupid and a nearly indefensible waste of talent and everyone’s lives.
BRT: I loved it, and think he should do more coaching just like it. In fact, November 22nd would be a great time for him to do a repeat performance, or maybe even outdo himself!
RockyMtnBlue: It was a lot more defensible than most talking heads are saying. If the game were tied, it would have been correct. In college football, you don’t need more than a minute or so to get points from the opponent 40, and running the clock the way he did should have ensured UCLA couldn’t get points if they failed. Down 17, however, I thought it was timid, the sort of thing late-stage Lloyd Carr would have done while losing at least two games a year he should have won. He needed to care about a touchdown, not just points.
Of course, ultimately they not only failed, but took an awful sack and so UCLA got a long FG, completing the worst-case scenario. But that sack isn’t on the head coach (at least not directly).
HWAHSQB: Has anyone seen James Franklin and Ron Zook in the same room together?
NOT FOOTBALL
What’s your go-to fall cocktail? – MNWildcat
WSR: Grain Belt Nordeast
HWAHSQB: Schell’s Octoberfest
MNW: Yeah, it’s just scotch. A nice scotch by a campfire after everyone in my family has already gone to bed. Shit, it could be a glass of coconut IPA, the time alone would make it taste better. That said, when I asked this, I think I was nostalgic for the tailgate cocktail—the mixed drink we’d make for visiting fans, the special ingredient we’d throw in. Something about a shot of cinnamon whiskey in an alcoholic cider—or a regular old cup of apple cider—is so nice as you watch the sun come up over Lake Michigan.
BRT: Mostly I go for Glacial Tilly’s Caramel Apple Cider, which I’m aware is not actually a cocktail. I’d like a fall cocktail though, so someone please be more creative than us.
Brian: Old Fashioned. Next question.
RockyMtnBlue: Coffee.
HoustonBoiler: If I’m with Mrs. HB, we would probably open a nice bottle of wine though I can talk her into scotch. She is Scottish afterall. I mean cooler weather sure seems like whiskey weather. However, MNW specifically asked for a cocktail, so I will go with a gin and tonic or an old fashioned.
I’m traveling to VT/NH/ME next week for anniversary-related hiking & sight-seeing. Any hidden gems out that way? LandOfSkyBlueWatersGopher
WSR: Not that I’m aware of. Vermont scares me.
MNW: Cold River Distillery in Freeport. Tiny little tasting room on the top floor. Get the blueberry vodka. Goddamnit that’s good stuff.
We love Eventide Oyster Bar in Portland, though I’m sure that’s nothing special or overly touristy or something. There’s a distillery right behind it, too, that made some kind of rum punch that got Mrs. MNW good and sauced. Highly recommend.
Acadia’s great, but don’t bike it. Otherwise I love being by the water, and there are so many little inlets and beaches and harbor towns that you’re not going to go wrong. GOD I MISS IT, PLEASE HIRE ME, BOWDOIN.
BRT: I second Acadia. Two Cats Bar Harbor is a fantastic brunch or breakfast. Obviously get some lobster rolls while you’re in Maine, as well as some Whoopie Pies. If you’re hiking, you can definitely eat all of these delicious things, and then some. Also, enjoy – it’s a gorgeous part of the country!
HoustonBoiler: I have been to Acadia, but someday I will. It’s on my bucket list. Definitely eat lots of lobster while you’re in Maine. If you’re in Vermont, I suggest visiting the Simon Pearce shop in Quechee, where you can see craftspeople blowing glass and making various glass pieces. I found it fascinating. Mrs. HB loves the evergreens so we have a few. The onsite restaurant is excellent. If you’re into baking, I suggest visiting the King Arthur Baking Company in Norwich, Vermont. You can find every baking ingredient and utensil in the store, delicious baked goods in the cafe, and take a class at the baking school. While I’m pretty good at making pizza, I do want to take their 2-day Pizzapalooza class (in-person, not online). I’m sure I would learn some things.
I have a colonoscopy on Wednesday. What should my first meal be after that? – FreeBeerTomorrow
WSR: You should get yourself a good breakfast, like chilaquiles. Make sure you get extra spicy salsa to make sure everything’s working properly.
MNW: How old are you people?
RockyMtnBlue: First of all, fuck you, MNWildcat. I went with a roast beast dub from Jimmy Johns. Not exactly an inspired choice, but man did it hit the spot.
BRT: A big, fat, deluxe burger – because you’ll have a happier time in the lead-up if you go easy on the meat in the preceding week. Also, good on you for getting the colonoscopy and taking care of yourself!
HWAHSQB: C’mon, Curderburger is the obvious choice here.
HoustonBoiler: Having had two colonoscopies thus far, I highly recommend the big, fat deluxe burger/Curderburger that BRT and HWAHSQB mentioned. Your system will be absolutely empty, so why not fill it with good stuff. In preparation for your colonoscopy, I highly recommend this Dave Barry column on the subject. It will give you all the details you need. WSR Note: There’s always a Dave Barry column for every subject.
