Wasn’t it nice to have actual sports content for a weekend thanks to the MLB draft? Were you expecting a follow-up article on the bowling team’s recruiting? Actually, so was I. We don’t have any news on that front though, so let’s get weird again.
Hopefully you didn’t read the “A-M Country Mixtape” title and expect the classic country music you might hear on WSM 650 AM. No, you’re getting six entries from countries who didn’t get a chance to be represented, but who I felt had an entry that deserved
a shot. I mean, fine, every country probably has a song like that but I don’t really know anything from Monaco. Has Monaco ever won Eurovision? Probably not.
[Note: And having typed that, Monaco did win Eurovision in 1971, and their final entry in 2006 was apparently half sung in Tahitian?! And both singers were named Séverine? You do you, Monaco. This article will feature neither of those songs.]
Previous Result
See our list of all previous winners.
Johnny B. Goode and Chuck Berry pretty much romped the rest of the Missouri competition, rolling up 62.5% of the vote. Go Johnny go, go. Johnny B. Goode.
We actually had a few more votes, thanks to home state voters from the Missouri blog showing up. Somehow I don’t expect any home area voting to happen this time.
The Songs
1.) Afghanistan: Kabul Dreams, “Fasl”
The only Afghan song to ever be featured in an Anchor Drop!
They released this in 2019, because what could possibly go wrong over the next 2 years? A worldwide pandemic? Their country’s entire government falling? Oh. Oh, I see.
Apparently political turmoil (that’s certainly a polite term for it, isn’t it) produces some solid rock music, because let’s keep going here.
2.) Brazil: Os Mutantes, “A Minha Menina”
Let’s go ahead and note that’s an outstanding band name, and maybe an even better album cover.
This managed the rare feat of pissing off virtually everyone in 1968 Brazil. The authoritarian military dictatorship that was running the country accused them of being filthy hippies and moral degenerates. Fine, that’s basically the normal playbook there.
But the anti-establishment college student crowd hated them too! At the time, they were deeply nationalistic about art and music, to the point of holding a March Against the Electric Guitar the previous year. So when Os Mutantes showed up at national song festivals, the students booed, and threw fruit, and turned their backs.
Best part: Both the guitars and the incredible distortion pedal are homebrew devices created by the band’s genius older brother. It was nearly impossible to get actual equipment into Brazil due to government regulations and outrageous tariffs, so he just cobbled it together in their garage from crappy, locally-sourced electronics.
They literally invented their own instruments to be called “American sellouts” by the left and right. SCIENCE!
3.) Cambodia: Ros Sereysothea, “Chnam oun Dop-Pram Muy”
I linked this in the comments a few weeks ago, but just listen to it. Legitimately amazing late 60s Cambodian rock music, who knew?
And then the Vietnam War spilled over the border, the Khmer Rouge happened, and she disappeared in the mid 70s along with a quarter of the country. We are never, ever allowed to have nice things.
I particularly like the background singers. They only have the one line over and over, and they sound like they really ought to be on a Dion and the Belmonts recording instead. But somehow it works, so carry on.
4.) Hungary: Bela Lakatos & the Gypsy Youth Project, “Po Drom”
Finally, an entry that isn’t marred by horrifying political realities! I mean they technically recorded while Viktor Orbán was running their country, but as far as I know at least they flew under his radar. (“We recorded this in Viktor Orbán’s first term, so things were mostly normal.” Truly the bar has fallen through the floor, and is currently digging to China.)
This song is basically the equivalent of a caffeine jolt, as they manage to get more and more wired as the song goes before abruptly ending.
Backstory: This was originally released under the band’s real name (Ternipe) as “Az Úton.” That’s the actual Hungarian name, and translates as “On the Road.” Then it got re-released several years under the Romani translation “Po Drom.” Unfortunately that caused a bunch of licensing issues, and this is no longer available for streaming in the US in a bunch of places as a result. So boo. Boo for all that.
5.) Japan: Shoukichi Kina & Champloose, “Hai-sai Ojisan”
Oh my God, hello Okinawan folk music earworm.
I’m not even completely sure what’s happening with the lyrics. It’s a conversation between a young boy (portrayed by the male singers), and a guy who appears to be a cynical middle-aged drunk (portrayed by the female backup singers, because of course).
Boy: Hey, old man! Hey, old man! If there’s a drop of sake left in last night’s little bottle, can I have it?
Old Guy: Hey, boy! Hey, boy! You think I’m satisfied with a little bottle? Don’t say there’s none left!
Boy: Okay, old man! If a little bottle wasn’t enough, give me the big one!
So basically a Tuesday in the Anchor of Gold Diamond Encrusted Bunker.
6.) Kenya: Just a Band, “Ha-He”
That screenshot has the greatest caption in the history of electronic media.
This is from back in 2010. Just a Band put together a music video for a made-up movie on roughly the budget of a 5th grader’s allowance, took the Internet by storm, and became Kenya’s first legitimate meme.
It’s also catchy as hell. That bassline is tremendous, and I don’t even know what you’d call this genre. Retro Kenyan indie house? Those are all words that describe music, right?
MAKMENDE AMERUDI!
Honorable Mentions
Denmark: Tommy Seebach Band, “Apache”
Still the greatest music video ever created. “What if we take the Shadows’ moody classic, added all the keyboard, and also all the booze?” GREAT WARRIORS. RIDERS OF THE PLAINS.
It almost bothers me how musically competent it actually is.
Kingdom of Leon: Cantigas de Santa Maria, Cantiga 159, “Non sofre Santa María”
Setting aside how absurdly giddy this is (I cracked up 3 seconds in), let’s talk about the lyrics. And the full title, which is basically “How Holy Mary caused a chop of meat to be found which was stolen from some pilgrims in the city of Rocamadour.”
9 pilgrims buy pork chops and go to pray while the meat’s cooking. While they’re gone, a servant girl steals one of the chops and hides it in a trunk. The pilgrims come back and find it missing, and call on Mary to help them find it. So far, so good. Relatively.
Then the pork chop starts dancing and clapping inside the trunk, demanding to be found. So they open the trunk, and there it is, carrying on like Michigan J. Frog.
Instead of eating it, they hang it on a silk thread and dedicate it to Mary, because that’s the sort of thing people in the 13th Century did.
I kind of think I should’ve included this in the main article now.
Hungary: Katica Illenyi, “Only You”
The Platters on theremin? The Platters on theremin.
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Presumably back to your regularly scheduled nonsense, as we already voted for N.
