A season doesn’t end at 0-2, but there’s only one way to get to 0-3, and that’s by passing through, well, a Week 2 loss. The Seattle Seahawks spent 30 minutes Sunday morning in Pittsburgh looking like they were gonna choose Door 0-2, and in the process confirm every negative narrative floating in the aether.
They chose differently. When the clock hit zeroes, the Seahawks had outrun, out-passed, out-defended, out-executed and outsmarted a decent team on the road. Bad teams don’t tend to dominate NFL
opposition. Mandatory disclaimer: there’s a lot of season left, and even the 2009 Jim Mora Seahawks shut out the Rams and Jaguars before Halloween. Fine, I’ll rephrase: a mentally weak, poorly coached team doesn’t win in every phase; instead they luck into victories.
This win wasn’t luck. It was season-undefining, in that it forced all pessimistic onlookers (raises hand) to recalibrate what is and isn’t possible. Now of course, we should’ve known better, because Week 1 , you guys. The Detroit Lions, everyone’s chic pique to win the NFC, stumbled their way to 13 points in the opener, then dropped a Week 2 fiftyburger on the Bears. The Jets traveled from Week 1 ecstasy to Week 2 reality; a familiar path for them, but still. You get the point. A lot of wonky games take place first weekend, every year. Why would the Seahawks be exempt?
Not gonna lie, though, this game felt like a lost cause early. Save for the beginning, when the Seahawks did an exceptionally abnormal normal thing: they scored an opening-drive touchdown. For the first time since the Gerald Ford administration. (December 2023 actually, but that’s the same thing in football years.) Seattle, and specifically Sam-Jaxon Darnold-Smith-Njigba, converted two third and longs to sustain the drive. All of that set the stage for rookie Tory Horton, he of zero career receptions entering the game.
First catch, first score. But not the first time a fifth-rounder has made an quick impact here.
The Steelers answered with a ten-play field goal jaunt, which you’ll take, because now it’s time to get back to business and throw the ball downfield to Cooper Kupp on first down and wait no no no he’s not at all open and why is Jalen Ramsey in front of him and shit that’s picked off. Let’s be honest, too, that pass deserved to be taken away.
If I’d told you at that point that Kupp would earn his game check, given his body of work thus far in a Seahawks uniform, neither of us would’ve believed it. This sentence will be copy-pasted.
Dropped right back into duty at their own 44, Seattle’s defense held well enough to force a field goal attempt, which left them in the driver’s seat. Quickly on the next drive, Kupp and Elijah Arroyo hauled in first-down catches, helping to set up a fourth and one at the edge of the red zone.
It’s roughly the same spot where Mike McDonald faced a fourth down decision in Week and opted to kick. It’s roughly in the same place the same fork in the road will present itself again mere minutes later. Perhaps in self-reaction to his own decision at home a week earlier, he’ll go for it both times. Good for him, and good for us. With wildly divergent outcomes. Not great for him, or us.
Time 1 rewards fans and players with a clever play call that isn’t too cute: the direct snap to A.J. Barner, who clears the line to gain rather easily with an assist from Zach Charbonnet. Drive stalls, so Jason Myers comes out for a chip shot to extend the lead, except instead it’s a doinkerdoodle off the left upright and we’re stuck in neutral at 7-6.
Following punts by each team, the biggest non-play of the game shows up courtesy of Derion Kendrick, Devon Witherspoon’s understudy du jour. With an ill-advised Aaron Rodgers floater across the middle directly in his sights, he lets the sure pick-six bounce through his mitts and off his helmet. That’s when just about everyone starts missing Spoon like your first girlfriend after she breaks up with you. A familiar feeling of “maybe it’s not our year quite yet” comes a’knocking. I hate that feeling. It would escalate.
Because hey look, Time 2 is upon us, the second fourth and one deep in Pittsburgh territory, so of course Macdonald keeps the offense on the field, and the play-action bootleg is snuffed out by the Steelers. You ever play Super Tecmo Bowl and the opponent calls your play and before you can even choose a receiver, Derrick Thomas has tackled you eight yards deep? Yeah, that’s what it was. Darnold’s rollout was doomed, so he panicks and tries to make something happen. Interception number two, returned all the way to the Seahawks 21.
If I’d told you at that point that Darnold would earn his game check, given his body of work thus far in a Seahawks uniform, neither of us would’ve believed it. As promised, this sentence has been copy-pasted.
One discouraging turn of events was still owed Seattle fans: a predictable revenge teeder from DK Metcalf, who I’m told played a portion of his career here? Is that accurate? Anyway, to add insult to insult, Metcalf made exactly the type of play every Seahawks QB and OC tried to set up for him for years, with no more than a smattering of success: the goal-line jump ball. He converts, it’s 14-7 hosts and the bleakness of 0-2 has raised its gray head — only to get guillotined by a second half that maybe sets a new course for the season.
Because here’s the thing. The Seahawks wouldn’t allow another touchdown, they wouldn’t give the ball away again, they would rediscover the joy of handing it off to their most dynamic back, and people besides JSN would start making plays. Halftime doesn’t have magical powers like, say, an Etsy witch you might hire to bless your baseball team so they never lose again, even though losing is baked into their very identity.
And yet, something shifted.
Darnold’s poor and panicked throws turned precise and premium. (His scrambling toss was the real deal.)
Walker’s narrow gaps turned into gaping holes. (79 second-half yards.)
Defenders’ dropped interceptions turned caught. (Defense held them to three points)
The forgotten receivers turned targeted. (Kupp caught seven of his next eight targets for 90 yards)
And, most importantly perhaps, special teams swoons turned into souvenirs. None bigger than when George Holani helped himself to an inexplicably unfielded end zone kickoff. Um, Kaleb Johnson, that’s a live ball.
This came on the heels of multiple other reversals, such as, look, we have a tight end! Twice!
And then Kendrick’s redemption in the end zone keeps the Steelers off the board. When needed most, my God, the man was in his Element. All The Stars don’t have the DNA to make this heads-up play.
Three thousand more words could be spilled about this game but we’re better off getting to the Prey and Predators, and hoping for carryover to Week 3 vs. the Saints. Wait, no! The dagger.
It’s 24-17 Seattle, inside of four minutes, and at the end of an extended possession, all that’s needed to make it a two-score affair is a short field goal. Makes sense to run the rock on 3rd and 19. Just hand it to Walker, trot Myers out, and —
All academic after that, although Coby Bryant would disagree because maybe he hits an extra incentive now with that late pick. Rodgers won’t play five more years, and that’s a cryin’ shame because there’s nothing more fun on Sundays than seeing him complete a pass to a Seahawk.
PREDATORS
Pass rushers. The youngest D-linemen feasted, specifically Boye Mafe, Derick Hall and Byron Murphy.
You see Mafe and Hall in the graphic, but Murphy turned in a Leonard Williamsy performance with 1.5 sacks and a TFL. Disrupting Rodgers today was a group project and unlike in middle school, everyone chipped in.
Kenneth Walker the Third. Everyone will cite his 105 yards rushing, which, great. But he was better than the century mark indicates. Witness, after halftime, on eight attempts:
A) Three explosives
B) 7 out of 8 in success rate (wow)
C) 9.9 YPC
D) The game-clinching 19-yard scamper on third and goal
Few Seahawks needed that type of game more than Walker, who remains the closest thing Seattle has to a home run hitter.
Grey Zabel. On the Walker TD specifically. If you saw it, you know. But other times too. He’ll get his own section soon enough, that’s guaranteed.
Jaylen Warren. Dude broke like six tackles on that tough-to-watch 65-yard gash through the suddenly butterfingered defense.
Course, all that did was set up the afternoon’s biggest “and then what happened” moment for Kendrick.
George Holani. Multiple acceptable kick returns, and the touchdown listed above. Thought for a second we’d see a repeat of when Jeron Johnson fell on the ball in Indy in 2013. Remember, when Jermaine Kearse blocked Pat McAfee’s punt through the end zone, and Johnson *nearly* fell on it in time? Holani, a scholar of Seahawks history, made sure that wouldn’t happen again.
Seahawks coordinators. Every coach on the Seattle sideline had their units prey-pared to the fullest, as illustrated by two total penalties for a measly 10 yards. Self-discipline is attractive in people, but triply so when it’s a football team known for collecting yellow laundry.
You had Riq Woolen’s stumbly holding penalty on the first drive and Barner’s off-the-wall offsides. No other fouls.
NEITHER PREDATOR NOR PREY
DK Metcalf. Man, was he primed to be the apex predator. But the coverage combination of Woolen, Bryant and Jobe — mainly Jobe — kept him from affecting the game. He was, if it can be said of a player who scored six, kind of a non-factor. Three grabs for 20 yards on six targets, with a couple drops, isn’t what anyone expected, him included I’d guess.
PREY
Mike Tomlin, I suppose, for doing his best impression of Super Bowl Mike Shanahan and not communicating the rules to every member of his kickoff team.
Opposing fans when Seattle shows up on their schedule. The Seahawks won their seventh straight road game, and 20th in their last 25 East Coast games. Anyone know how to arrange for a couple Lumen Field roof beams to do their best Kingdome imitation?
Wasn’t sure where this team was headed after a game and a half. But now, it might even be someplace pleasant. So if the Hawks are to go, let us go with them.
