If you are a longtime listener to the OFD Podcast/Earned 5-Star Podcast/One Foot Down Football show — you already know we dive into a lot of serious subjects that aren’t entirely Notre Dame football related. One of the deepest and oldest of the lores is Brendan’s insistence that BIG GRAIN is truly the one running the world.
Whether it’s hot dog buns, wheat toast, oatmeal, bagels, and yes… cereal — BIG GRAIN is forcing their gluten all over you (according to Brendan). BIG GRAIN NEW WORLD ORDER. It’s
why when we talk about breakfast foods and the glory that is the first meal of the day, The Chief Inspector usually takes a back seat in the conversation. In his world — you can’t let BIG GRAIN get ya, and they mostly do that with breakfast, and yes… cereal.
So, cereals are a part of BIG GRAIN and BIG GRAIN is out here looking for world domination.
I just have to ask then — how innocent is Notre Dame?
Over the last several years we have seen Notre Dame football recruits post pictures of themsleves in an Irish uniform while posing with box of Lucky Charms. But why Lucky Charms? Why not Golden Grahams or Golden Crisp?
I’m not sure but I have a theory…
Back in 2021, Notre Dame lost to Cincinnati inside Notre Dame Stadium. As tragic as that game was, it pales in comparison to the crimes committed in the visiting locker room. The Bearcats took boxes and boxes of Lucky Charms cereal and danced all over the delicious breakfast food until it basically powder coated the floor. This had to be ridiculously difficult to clean up, so I’m betting that Notre Dame called up General Mills to get some help with its removal. Obviously the Irish were already embarrassed enough after losing to Cincy, that they didn’t want to make this a public spectacle.
In return for cleaning tips, General Mills demanded that Notre Dame use Lucky Charms in promotional videos and pictures, and to swear allegiance to BIG GRAIN. So, under Jack Swarbrick’s and Brian Kelly’s leadership, Notre Dame — THE INDEPENDENT OF INDEPENDENTS — bent the knee to this shadowy organization who is rumored to have military bases underneath Lake Baikal.
So yeah… Notre Dame is now a part of the big plan by BIG GRAIN for world domination. Pray for us.
