Friday night games with two kids that want to have a little fun after a week of school and day care is tougher than I remember. When I saw it was an 8:00 PM kick on the east coast, I was giddy. I thought I would have time to take a shower, maybe make myself a cocktail.
But what I didn’t take into consideration is that it still feels like summer out and we live in a cul-de-sac full of kids and dads that want to grill meats and drink beer.
I was out there celebrating Friday at 4:30 and suddenly I looked
down and my kids have had three ice pops and it was 7:45. I gave my wife the look and we packed it in. Tubby time, six books and a snuggle later and I was in my seat ready to go at 8:15. And yet somehow, someway because Iowa continues to punch me in the gut, it was 7-7.
Kaden Wetjen continued his revenge tour after the Iowa State game with a 100+ yard return to start the game (obligatory KADEN WETJEN YOU ARE RIDICULOUS) and then Rutgers apparently gashed the secondary to work their way down field to tie the game.
I’m sad I missed it live, but even the replay slaps soooo hard:
That’s a bad, bad man.
7-7, Iowa or, 0-0 if you’re me. Let’s pick it up on Iowa’s second possession of the game:
11:34 – Iowa deserves every bit of flack that they get for their lack of wide receiver talent and their involvement in the passing game. Since Ihmir Smith-Marsette destroyed USC, Iowa has not developed anyone worth a damn in five years (part of that is surely because of how poorly the QB position has been I’m sure). BUT, Mark Gronowski is putting the ball in the hands of the horses in the stable and they continue to let him down. They continue to drop the ball and it is so insanely infuriating that I’m having a hard time wanting to write about anything else the rest of the way. How can you be THIS bad catching the ball? You only get a few chances every single game to do the thing you’re on scholarship to do and the depth on this team continue to piss it away. Iowa is NOT good enough to continue to make it through games with multiple drops. CATCH. THE. DAMN. BALL.
6:03 – Rutgers just took their sword to this defense and left them all with gaping holes on their way to another easy touchdown. Greg Schiano has the boys ready.
Oh and in case you didn’t catch it, we’re in the first quarter and this is apparently the most points Rutgers has ever scored against Iowa. SICKKKKKK.
14-7, Knights and I’m glad I didn’t spend any more on going to this game live. Oh, and this next drive will make or break Iowa for the rest of the game. THEY HAVE TO MATCH.
2:24 – Iowa just ran their best offensive series of the Tim Lester era…bar none. They ran the ball effectively, used play action immediately after and then hit on a down field pass that led to a huge gain. The ball was spread all over the field and it’s clearly confusing the Rutgers defense. He’s got the boys cooking and honestly, minus two atrocious drops (and probably pass interference), the offense looks dare I say, effective!
Phil Parker needs to light his boys up… but either way, Iowa is sitting ok and honestly should be up.
14-14, tie ball game and it’s still just the first quarter! OFFENSE!!! WHAT?!?!
:12 – Another big Rutgers play down field for 36-yards and they are in Iowa territory already. No pass rush. Secondary not athletic enough. I just dry heaved thinking about what Oregon and Penn State and Indiana are going to do to us.
*shivers*
Second Quarter
12:28 – After three straight tush pushes from the half yard line, Rutgers scored their third touchdown in as many drives. I’m sick to my stomach. The Iowa offense is finally humming and the defense forgot how to play. It’s just par for the Kirk Ferentz Back-9 course. FUDGE!
21-14, the Fighting Situations.
8:59 – I’m not joking – Tim Lester is like a French James Beard winning chef right now. He just ran this little tunnel screen for the tight end that went for a huge gain. Gronowski isn’t the guy I thought he would be in terms of his ceiling, but he is a guy that you can win with and he’s finally comfortable and just letting it come to him. It’s just such a shame that he doesn’t have any real talent around him outside of his offensive line and running backs.
It’s also a shame his defense forgot what defense is.
8:00 – GRONOWSKI TOUCHDOWN AND WE ARE TIED AGAIN
FIRST TEAM TO GET THE NEXT STOP WINS!
21-21, and thank god I cancelled my under play and instead put a mortgage payment on the over.
6:44 – Rutgers has gained two true yards on the ensuing possession at the moment and the rest of their yards have come off pass interference calls against the secondary. Rutgers game plan is pretty obvious – snap the ball to Kaliakmanis in shotgun and he’s just going to toss it up to his ginormous wideouts… and it’s working.
THIS IS A PROBLEM.
2:45 – WE STOPPED THEM FROM SCORING A TOUCHDOWN. HOLY SHIT WE STOPPED THEM. I DON’T REALLY KNOW HOW BUT WE DID. IT WAS PROBABLY MORE BECAUSE RUTGERS STOPPED THEMSELVES BUT WHATEVER THIS IS HUGE BECAUSE THEY DECIDED TO KICK A FIELD GOAL INSTEAD OF JUST GOING FOR IT ON 4TH AND 6 AND THEN FALSE STARTED AND THEN THEY DOINKED IT AND IT’S IOWA BALL WITH PLENTY OF TIME TO GO UP AGAIN AND WE NEED TO SCORE A TOUCHDOWN SO BADLY BUT WHATEVER WE STOPPED THEM!
NEVER A DOUBT!!!!
Ok, sorry. I get excited. I truly am stunned Rutgers didn’t just go for it at home and Iowa on the ropes. It would’ve sucked all of the air out of that defense if they converted. What a monumental decision that led to a huge false start that led to a doink. PHEW.
Welp, we did nothing with it and then held Rutgers to another three and out and they actually punted to Wetjen and he took an opening but got a little too cocky and tried to return it instead of running out of bounds to set up a field goal.
EHHHHH. I get it. The kid has been lights out and for a hot second I thought he might actually do it… but those potential three points would be nice to have.
Whatever… WHATEVER!
Anyways, it’s the half. We are all tied. The defense needs to take a step in the second half or we might be toast.
Every time I see games like this it reminds me of my Varsity Hoops days. My high school basketball coach used to call these “bullet games”. A bullet game was when he would come into the locker room and would fire on us. He would dog cuss up and down. Markers and clipboard pieces would be flying all around. He’d be subconsiously brushing his hands through his hair he’d end up yanking at it. He was a mad man and he would LIGHT us up and lay into us to the point we hated his guts.
But we’d always end up playing better in the second half.
We’ll show his ass.
This needs to be a Phil Parker Bullet Game.
Third Quarter
13:50 – Iowa forces the three-and-out… BULLET GAME!? Some people are saying…
9:37 – Stevens missed… he missed. It was like my driver…long but 3 holes over to the right. Holy hell. What is happening. I am watching the defense and special teams crumble before my eyes while the offense is playing half well. I want to tear my eyes out…
8:49 – They did it again. Phil is dialing up the pressure and it’s working. Three-and out. Music to my ears. Zach Lutmer is flashing. Someone was pissed off with how he/they played in the first half.
6:26 – PUNT. What a horrid possession.
5:17- Ian Strong with the play of the game. Dude is NFL material for sure. He’s both somehow ginormous and fast with strong ass hands. Man, what a catch. The Knights are knocking on the door. Getting away with only giving up three here would feel like such a ginormous win.
Just saw someone on TwitterX say “Ian Strong is such a Green Bay Packer” and now I’m even more scared.
4:01 – The Iowa Hawkeyes are BACK. The offense sucks and the defense and special teams are TOTALLY BACK. I’m being serious… has anyone else noticed that the minute the offense started to suck, the defense and special teams snapped back to normalcy? Not only did they just make Rutgers go three-and-out AGAIN, but they BLOCKED THE FIELD GOAL TOO!!!
:30 – The Hawkeyes should go full on Hester Offense with Wetjen. Scheme that kid the ball 5-6 times a game with space in front of him and just see what happens. Why not, right? that kid wants to score EVERY time he touches the football. Every. Single. Time.
FOURTH QUARTER
THIS^
You need playmakers desperately on this offense. Nathan McNeil is a playmaker. Screw the redshirt. Get this kid more snaps.
14:02 – Iowa had a shot to go up by a touchdown but Mark Gronowski under throws yet another ball…a friend of mine said he would cuss out his 6th grade QB if he missed that throw. I don’t disagree. I literally saw my nearly two year old launch a golf ball further than he had to throw today.
Yeah, I don’t know anymore either. But Gronowski kinda has a noodle and his arm looks NOTHING like the arm I saw in all of those YouTube clips.
24-21, Iowa takes the lead with the first points of the second half.
9:44 – I guess we’re back to getting our keisters kicked by the Knights offense. Iowa just got spanked so hard on a 9-play, 75 yard drive for a touchdown.
Rutgers 28, Iowa 24… dejected.
I don’t know if I can do this anymore…
6:30 – Holy shit. We just completed a huge pass down the field. Gronowski’s arm had no issues there, what a pass and what a catch and finish by Dayton Howard. Absolutely monumental. Dime. Dime. Dime. Dime. Dime.
5:39 – GRONOWSKI WALKS INTO THE END ZONE FOR A TOUCHDOWN OFF THE ZONE READ. WE’RE SO BACK.
I know I’m an idiot and way too dramatic. When I go back and read these every weekend I get worried that I have an actual problem. Whatever. Sticks just put huevos on the table.
31-28, good fellas.
4:49 – Iowa just got their first take away of the season and it could not have come at a better time. Max Llewellyn flies around the edge and hits Kaliakmanis’ arm… the ball flutters in the air and INTERCEPTEDDDDDD.
Iowa football. Iowa football. Iowa football.
I’m going to have a heart attack.
2:14 – TUSH PUSH FOR THE THIRD RUSHING TOUCHDOWN OF THE NIGHT FROM STICKS AND THIS BALL GAME IS OVAHHHHH
38-28, I-O-W-A, I-O-W-A, I-O-W-A
1:34 – After a huge sack on second down and a dropped pass on third, the Iowa defense denies the Rutgers on fourth down and take over on downs. What an absolutely gigantic win. I can’t wait to go back and read every single one of these 2,000 words and enjoy an melt down from a 36-year old father of two.
What fun.
IDK the last time Iowa won this way… it’s been a while. But it was fun as hell. Rutgets is a solid ass football team. They will learn from this and will be scary to play the rest of the season because of it.
3-1, would’ve taken it at the start of the year and, if you’re an optimist like me, some dudes you need to step up made some plays tonight when it mattered most.
That’s going to help me sleep tonight.
PLAY THE GOD DAMN POLKA
