No more night games please, staying up late to watch this team is becoming bad for my health.
Game Recap in Three Sentences
The offense finally managed to score their first TD of the season late in the third but the game was already out of hand by then.
The defense played okay for a while but eventually unravelled and let UT run all over.
Tennessee’s late TD instead of kneeling left a bad taste on an already horrendous night.
Above The Line of the Week
- Justice Haynes. He found the endzone twice (once on the ground, once through the air) and looked like the only guy on the field that could match Tennessee’s size and speed. He’d be absolutely nasty if we could provide him with any sort of offensive line or advantageous playcalling.
- The aquarium. Nandi the manta ray is mesmerizing every time.
- Special teams. We have as many special teams TDs as we do offensive ones. Is that good for ST or bad for the offense? Why not both?
Are You Mad at Me? Of the Week
Did we do something to piss Tennessee off? The final few minutes of this game felt so antagonistic – I think
they got three unsportsmanlikes in about two minutes of game time, then they called a timeout with 1:38 on the clock and ran a play instead of kneeling it out. Did they feel disrespected by being [checks notes] massive favorites against a bad team? Did they get their info about us from Fran Brown? Did our players trash talk too much in between getting thoroughly outplayed? Chill out y’all.
5 Star (7 Star, 5 Star) Developmental Program Haiku of the Week
Rocky season start
When I close my eyes, orange
Improvement? We’ll see
Juiceless
Welp, I guess last week I did complain about playing too many close games, my bad y’all. It’s hard to even know where to begin when thinking about this game. I knew we’d get stomped, yet somehow we still managed to do it in the dumbest possible way. It’s like someone is in a lab cooking up different ways for the program to be embarrassing. One of my smart and handsome friends always says “make a bowl game, don’t embarrass me” and so far it’s not looking good for either of those marks. It’s one thing to lose to a good team, it’s another to look awful while doing it.
Aside from all the technical problems, this team has simply shown no juice so far. We move the ball into the redzone and then forget what to do next. We hold strong on first and second down only to give up a big play on third and long when it matters. We let penalties ruin critical drives. We turn the ball over right when we desperately need a score. In short, we fail to meet the moment. There’s no killer instinct, no clutch gene, and no sense of urgency.
Coach Key preaches a lot about toughness but I’m starting to think he just hung out with Haynes King a lot. Through two games we’ve gotten pushed around, roughed up, and have generally looked like we don’t deserve anyone’s consideration or respect. Who would be worried about playing us after seeing our tape? I need to be shown something good soon; prove to me that 2025 wasn’t just the product of one special player and an easy schedule.
Look Ahead
Up next is Mercer (9/19, noon). This one is simple: win by a lot or I’m going to start feeling the panic. They’re a solid FCS program but on paper it shouldn’t be remotely close. We need to score a lot and figure out the offense. Anything within two scores is unacceptable.
Stay tuned for 35mm pics from Tennessee coming later today or tomorrow!
