Last week, I dropped a request in the FEED for all y’all’s hottest Mariners takes and you definitely served up some HEAT. Here is a handy ranking system:
Blake Beaven = 1 star – a fine yet fairly tepid take Chris Bosio = 2 stars – workmanlike, solid, but not earth-shattering Hisashi Iwakuma = 3 stars – an above replacement level hot take, boundary-pushing but not absurd Matt Brash = 4 stars – a very hot and BRASH take, will upset people, will get the people going Cliff Lee = 5 stars – nuclear, scorched
earth-level take
Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here. We’ll start tepid and work our way up.
Poster Donguelard says: “People give Randy Arozarena way too much shit for for how productive he is.
Rating: Blake Beaven
I mean, I obviously agree with this. Randy is a good ballplayer. He definitely turns it up and turns it down as the situation requires. He is not a 100% hustle up the line every time player. He’s conserving his ammo for when he needs it, and as a 42-year-old who still tries to play sports, I respect that. He’s a couple hot streaks away or flashy catches away from being everyone’s favorite player again. Randy gonna Randy.
Poster Chris From Bothell says: “Dan’s devotion to doing lefty-righty matchups is going to directly cost the M’s at least 3 wins by the end of the season. The Padres finale on April 16 was one of those.”
Rating: Chris Bosio
I’m putting this on the tepid side of things, but still very respectable in terms of a take. Costing 3 wins can definitely mean the difference between the postseason or golf season, but I think this take would be much hotter if we were talking about Dan’s decisions costing the team 5-6 wins. Now we’re getting spicy.
MarinersFanInAZ says: “Emerson Hancock will be the second-best starter this year.
Rating: Hisashi Iwakuma
Oooh baby, we’re cookin’ now. This is definitely a hot take, but certainly not impossible from the small sample size we’ve seen so far from the Mariners starters. Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that Bryan Woo takes the top honors, and then we’ve got newcomer Hancock in second, so then how far behind are Gilbert, Kirby, Castillo, and even Miller once he’s back? If they’re all relatively close behind Hancock, then hello playoffs. If there’s big drop off, then yikes! This is a good and spicy one, well done.
Poster Nichos9 says: “Bryce Miller is coming for Luis Castillo’s job not for Emerson Hancock’s.”
Rating: Matt Brash
Woooo, boy, this is BRASH as hell. I respect it, but definitely disagree for two reasons. 1. I think Castillo’s demise has been greatly exaggerated. He’s fine and he is a crafty veteran at this point and will figure out how to keep winning games for as long as his arm stays healthy. 2. This take assumes that Bryce Miller is going to come back and really put it all together again. Sadly, I have my doubts. I want it to happen because I love Cowboy Bryce and he’s fun to watch when he is on his game, but I will believe it when I see it. Still, this is steaming hot take because of how sneakily divisive it is. Well played!
Poster YesItsRyan says: “Cole Young proves he is the best Mariners 2nd baseman since the 90’s.”
Rating: CLIFF LEE (sirens, fire alarms, Chernobyl klaxons)
Hoooo YEAH, head for the hills! We’ve got a winner right here. Let’s take a look at the highest single season bWAR totals by Mariners second basemen since 1990
- Bret Boone, 2001: 8.8 bWAR
- Robinson Canó, 2016: 7.3 bWAR
- Harold Reynolds, 1990: 4.8 bWAR
- Joey Cora, 1997: 2.6
It goes downhill pretty quickly after that, so let’s stop there. So, I admit, I did not see this coming from Cole Young after what we saw last season. Obviously it’s April, but he’s been one of the compentnt hitters in the lineup for the last month and is currently 4th in bWAR for the Mariners in 2026. That’s pretty significant for a fairly overlooked prospect (not by one Kate Preusser, I am legally obligated to say). So Yung Cole is off to a great start, he is very strong, can slug the ball, and has a pretty high baseball IQ. Can he outdo 2.6 by Joey Cora? Pretty decent chance, I’d say. Could he outdo Harold Reynolds at 4.8? We’re in big stretch territory. Possible but unlikely. How about 7.3 by Canó? I mean, the Mariners are definitely in the playoffs if that happens. That would overcome A LOT of shortcomings by other players, but is extremely unlikely. Can Young outdo Boone at 8.8? I’m gonna say that record will probably he held by Boone until the sun burns out unless Young shows up with suspiciously swollen fore arms out of nowhere and begins doing nonchalant flick of the wrist bat flips on dingers.
So, yes, I certify this take as NUCLEAR. Bombastic. Morally questionable. Scorched earth.
Okay that’ll do it for this week’s reverse mailbag. Thank you to everyone who dropped a take, I’ll include more next time. The spicier, the better. Keep an eye out for the next prompt later this week.
