What is the story about?
Good day, Cougar fans. At least you’re not Tennessee fans, or Virginia Tech fans, or (gulp) UCLA fans! That’s about all I’ve got, but at least it’s something. Maybe. I don’t know.
I don’t really have a whole lot of particulars regarding Saturday’s colossal dumpster fire that took place in Denton, Texas. Mostly because it’s not really very fun writing about such things, and because I didn’t see a play after WSU went down 21-3, choosing instead to watch actual competent football take place at locales
like Knoxville, Tennessee and Morgantown, West Virginia. I do not regret the decision!
But there were a few tidbits gleaned while watching the bloodletting, so let’s touch upon them.
The Good
- Far as I know, the team plane didn’t crash on the way home.
- I’m not the smartest guy around – not exactly breaking news there – and I had actually considered going to this game. It’s a nonstop flight, easy to get tickets, and as far as I knew, the Cougs had a good chance to win. But then I leaned my experience, and the ironclad law that I’ve written and (mostly) heeded over the years: Any time you think about spending actual money to travel and watch WSU Cougar sports, don’t. This simple axiom has saved me untold thousands.
- The best thing about Saturday is something I learned quickly being a Cougar fan who doesn’t live anywhere near the PNW – Irrelevance and anonymity are such a gift. It’s hard to be embarrassed when nobody else gives a damn about your team. There were a couple chinks in the armor when national writers tweeted out the score, but that was about it. Nobody really cares. Thank god for that.
The Bad
- Things seemed destined to go the way they did when I saw Jimmy Rogers’ game day look – all black. Now, I’ll never be mistaken for a fashion maven, but it seems to me that going with head-to-toe black in the blazing sun on that artificial turf isn’t the wisest move. Thankfully for Jimmy, nobody else noticed because North Texas was so bush scoring touchdowns.
- I mentioned elsewhere that a mid-day game on ESPNU between two “nobody” teams ain’t exactly gonna draw the next coming of Keith Jackson and John Madden, but hoo boy were those announcers something. In the limited minutes I saw, the play-by-play guy had this doozie, “Potter has looked good, except for the two interceptions.” Uh, it was the start of the second quarter! And he had already thrown two interceptions! Seems like a problem.
- And if you’re gonna try to look smart by bringing up past players, it’s probably a good idea to correctly pronounce their names, because I’m pretty sure Mark “RIPE-ee-en” would appreciate it.
- I mentioned previously that the biggest frustration with the offense is that it has no identity. There’s no telling what they want to be. This was made rather obvious in WSU’s first goal-to-go situation, when WSU threw three straight incomplete passes, none of which had any chance of success.
- Funny how Eric Morris took so much crap for his “I must always throw sideways” scheme at WSU, some of it deserved. That was decidedly a byproduct of a consistently inept offensive line. Further proof that success ain’t really about the Xs and Os.
The Ugly
- Um, everything else?
- Jaxon Potter’s whole game?
- Angel Johnson, just in general. He hurts this team far more than he helps. That dumptrucking he took, which caused Potter’s first INT was just so, so awful.
- Turns out that when you couple a group of players who only stuck around because they had nowhere else to go, with a group of players who belong in FCS, things don’t go so well when facing semi-competent opponents.
Other Stuff
Jim Moore is basically an old crank who says a couple wise things, a lot of dumb things and a few funny things. But he hit the nail on the head with this:
It’s taken some longer than others to realize this, and maybe there are still – for reasons well beyond my comprehension – some holdouts. But for most of us, we’ve known this for a long, long time. Saturday was just the manifestation of the knowledge that WSU athletics is going to live out its days in the abyss. Maybe near the top of the abyss, but the abyss nonetheless.
Highlights!
lol
This Week in Parenting
I think the purposeful omission of the youngest had its intended effect, but only time will tell.
- We are once again amid standardized testing madness, as the oldest took the ACT early on September 6, and then took the SAT on Saturday. It’s really fun when you’re a football player, too, because you get to play a game until late Friday night, then turn around and wake up at 0630 Saturday to go take a test that helps determine whether/where you’ll attend college, and if you qualify for any merit aid. Thankfully the mighty Dolphins had this week off, which we had in mind when deciding when he should take the test, because the last offering was a Saturday morning after the team played a game more than 90 minutes away. The kids who took that one may have gotten four hours of sleep. I declare that football players (and any other athlete scheduled for a Friday evening event) be given 5 bonus points on the ACT and 100 bonus points on the SAT due to the sleep factor. But only for this year, and possibly in 2029. (smiley face emoji)
- Fall’s onset means that Mrs. Kendall and I are sitting at a youth baseball diamond somewhere in the Florida Panhandle. As I write this, it’s just now 0800 on Saturday, and we are watching the kids warm up after a 45-minute drive. But hey, at least we got to pay $25 a piece in admission fees for the privilege. The youngest kiddo took last fall off, and I didn’t realize how good I had it on Saturdays! UPDATE – It’s now Sunday, and I’m back at a baseball diamond. At least the weather is nice.
- He’s also playing flag football again this fall, which means we have football on Tuesday nights, baseball on Wednesdays, football again on Thursdays, and then either a tournament or baseball practice on on Sunday or a weekend tournament, in addition to high school football games through the end of October. I mean who wants free time anyway? Overrated.
- Speaking of flag football, it’s been quite the adventure, and games haven’t even begun. His first coach was there for one practice and then quit for some reason. The assistant was there for the next practice, and then he quit without telling any of the parents. The third coach actually coached last season, and knows what he’s doing. But unfortunately work commitments only allow him to be there maybe half the time, which was why he didn’t plan to be a coach this season until everyone else quit. So now, your boy here is basically a co-coach, which I’ve never really been in to. Long story short, I have no idea what I’m doing so we’re just gonna run Mesh 80% of the time and hope it works out.
- Related – Flag football here is 5-on-5. We had to scrape to get seven kids on the team. Of those seven, I’m lucky if five show up at practice. I’m sure I’ve ranted about this in the past, but goddamn it burns my ass when parents sign their kids up for sports, then the kids just don’t show up. There’s one kid who has been to maybe two of our six practices. When I sent out a text at the start of practice to see if the missing kids would make it, I got no response. New (or even older) parents – If you sign your kids up to do stuff, I highly encourage you to actually have them do that stuff. For one thing, it isn’t free! You’re paying money for them to play! For another thing, you aren’t exactly setting a good example when it comes to following through on commitments. And finally, if for whatever reason life gets in the way, communicate that to the people who are depending on your young one(s) to be there. This has been my TED Talk.
- We didn’t have a baseball tournament last Saturday. No, instead we had a fundraiser! So the youngest and I hung out in front of a sports card/comic book/Dungeons and Dragons store and sold raffle tickets. I was actually impressed with his ability to lay on the hard sell, as were a couple of the other parents. So after the shift ended and we got back in the car, his first words were, “Dad I think I want to be a car salesman when I grow up.”
Gulp.
He noticed my tepid response, and asked what was wrong with being a car salesman. “Absolutely nothing,” I said, “but maybe we should set our sights a little higher since we haven’t even reached high school.”
- The youngest saved the most important topic for last Sunday, when he came into my room and asked if I would leave him my Marriott Bonvoy account when I die. I said I’d have to think about it, so I guess I have to now decide who gets my Marriott points, and who gets the Hilton points. Decisions, decisions.
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