Anxiety
Shift
- Notre Dame-Arkansas: I think this will be the bellwether for if the National Title Runner Up Jinx is real or not. The Irish falling to 1-3 would be unfathomable, even if they did have a harder scheduled than most contributing to it. On the flip, while in a vaccum losing to the national title runners up would be totally understandable for Sam Pittman, I don’t think there’s any coming back from heading into October with a losing record given what lies ahead. This is a pelt Pittman needs to put on a wall.
- USC-Illinois: A week after getting the latest kickoff possible on the lower 48, the Trojans get the earliest kickoff possible, something Lincoln Riley is being a very big boy about. As far as the game goes, it’ll be interesting to see what Bielema comes out with after getting absolutely popped in the mouth by Indiana.
- Duke-Syracuse: Old Friend Rickie Collins inherits the reigns of the Orange offense after taking over for Steve Angeli, and he gets a good opponent to settle in against: Manny Diaz. Wait.
- llvll-Pitt: The Cardinals have bullshitted their way to a 3-0 record, but now they get the Panthers coming off a bitter Backyard Brawl and a bye week to stew on it. Someone is going to lose this game and it will not be pretty for them.
I’d Say Go To Hell But You’re Already in Oxford Shift
- LSU-Ole Miss: Go straight to hell. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
- Indiana-Iowa: The Hoosiers are fresh off a total shitkicking of the Illini, but now they draw the most feared card out of the Big Ten deck: a road game to Kinnick. Consider the humble under.
- Auburn-Texas A&M: It’s not that losing this game in a vacuum will break Hugh at Auburn, but rather that it’ll be two losses on the trot with Georgia and Missouri looming on the horizon for the Plainsmen.
- Ohio State-Washington: Call it a hunch, but something is setting off alarm bells for me here. Desmond Williams Jr. for Washington is second in the nation in air yards per attempt at 13.21, nearly double league average. I don’t know, Washington has really seen much stiff competition but their offense is loose and could be a problem.
Cool Helmet Bro Shift
- Alabama-Georgia: huh?
- Oregon-Penn State: what?
- Kentucky-South Carolina: Finally, some good football and a real helmet game. Nobody’s jobs should be at stake in this game, but Shane Beamer needs a win to get off the schneid in the worst way and Kentucky needs to a win to stave off the eventual malaise that haunts the Kentucky football program for just a little longer. Football is fun!
- Arizona-Iowa State: Fun fact: these are two undefeated teams, meaning this game is more important that Alabama-Georgia and on par with Oregon-Penn State. I expect you all to treat it as such.
Robert Kekaula Memorial Shift
- BYU-Colorado: This week in As The Coach Prime Turns, Ryan Staub has been re-benched for Kaidon Salter as Deion clearly Knows What He Is Doing with quarterbacks who do not happen to be his son.
- Idaho-Montana: You know what the vibe here is. Settle in with a nightcap and enjoy the show.
