It is July 1 and it doesn’t matter if the Orioles win today.
It would be nice if they won. That’s always true. It’s just that this swoon over the past four games, added on top of the overall underwhelming play, is a strong sign that they are cooked for their postseason hopes.
How cooked? I’ll tell you how cooked. They are “Mark throws off the cloak of normalcy and wades deep into nerdiness to try to amuse himself rather than be despondent about the Orioles” cooked. To that end, they are at the point
where the Twitch streamer asks, “Chat, are we cooked?” Friends, once they ask that, they’re always already cooked.
For absolutely no useful reason, here are some Twitch global emotes that would be appropriate to use in a variety of situations that the 2026 Orioles have encountered this year. See if you can guess their general meme meaning from context.
4Head – Why doesn’t Cal just teach everyone better fundamentals?
DansGame – Trey Gibson walked six batters last night
Jebaited – The Orioles lost four in a row immediately after Mike Elias said “We’re going for it”
Kappa – It’s a good thing that Bodine, Forret, and Overn are struggling in the Rays system
ResidentSleeper – Alby when a controversial call goes against the Orioles
riPepperonis – The White Sox are using a lefty starter with a high ERA today
Orioles lineup
- Gunnar Henderson – SS
- Adley Rutschman – C
- Taylor Ward – LF
- Pete Alonso – DH
- Coby Mayo – 1B
- Tyler O’Neill – RF
- Leody Taveras – CF
- Jackson Holliday – 2B
- Blaze Alexander – 3B
Dean Kremer is returning from the injured list to make this start. He’s been gone since late April due to a quad strain. This season began with the Orioles telling Kremer, nope, we don’t need you, and sending him to Norfolk. They continued to jerk him around even when Zach Eflin suffered a season-ending injury during his first start. Kremer only made two starts after arriving before he had to be put on the IL. If he can pitch something like his career numbers, that will be an improvement over Trey Gibson or Chris Bassitt.
There was some roster juggling before the game today, in part to get Kremer activated from the 60-day injured list. The team optioned Gibson and lefty reliever Josh Walker, and in addition to activating Kremer, recalled reliever Cameron Weston, and designated catcher Dom Keegan for assignment. If you have ever previously thought about Dom Keegan before right now, you might be an Orioles sicko.
White Sox lineup
- Sam Antonacci – LF
- Miguel Vargas – 3B
- Andrew Benintendi – DH
- Braden Montgomery – RF
- Jacob Gonzalez – 1B
- Chase Meidroth – 2B
- Tristan Peters – CF
- Luisangel Acuña – SS
- Drew Romo – C
The White Sox starting pitcher today is Drew Schultz. He’s left-handed. riPepperonis, chat. riPepperonis. Except they would never use punctuation on Twitch. I can’t stop myself from using proper punctuation. It may be my most boomer trait.
