Ten Fourteen Eighteen B1G Things
- This is what happens when your goal is the bare minimum.
- Northwestern almost did it again!
- And by “did it again,” I mean “take out an opposing player for the season.”
- In other news, Bryce Underwood threw another interception.
- Two red teams played a game. A red team won.
- Two reddish teams played a game. The one with less red won.
- Why is half the league red teams Jesus? The more red team won this one.
- Will you look at that! Another red team won their game!
- Oh finally a blue team! And lasers!
- Washington
The Rundown
Minnesota does the bare minimum. Again
It’s a meme at this point.
Michigan, with more turnovers than touchdowns, nearly fumbles the bag.
Or, like the ball. Also Northwestern could have beat Michigan by the same score they beat Penn State. But they couldn’t get one more turnover out of the Wolverines, who committed five on the day.
LincolnParkWildcat: Damn it. Can we please just beat Michigan one of these fucking years? We played this time very hard, and damn it all. Ugh.
MinnesotaWildcat: Northwestern won the Mayor’s Key, beating DePaul 81-79 in a game marred by bad defensive rebounding and allowing the Blue
Demons to get to the foul line repeatedly. Thank goodness for Detective Nick Martinelli, who found a clue late to crack the case.
It was the only Northwestern sporting event contested this weekend within the city limits of Chicago, to the best of my knowledge.
Rockymtnblue: Minus 5 on turnover margin? MINUS FIVE??? Going back a minute but remember the 2015 Iowa Hawkeyes, and how much fun we had mocking them as the most unimpressive, unconvincing 10-0 team in history? This Michigan team might be the most unimpressive, unconvincing 8-2 team in history. Somehow this team is technically in the running for a playoff spot a full 12 weeks into the season despite the fact that they are objectively a middle-of-the-P4 squad. Beats the hell out of the alternative, I suppose. If my team can’t be good, lucky will just have to do.
Kind of…: Now might be a good time to recall all those preseason “Michigan has the easiest conference schedule in the B1G–and it’s not even close–articles” like this one for instance.
Brian Gillis: Michigan outgained Northwestern 496 to 245 and converted 25 first downs to Northwestern’s 11, but thanks to five turnovers and some lackadaisical play, the Wolverines needed a last-second field goal to salvage a 24-22 victory over a game Wildcat team at Wrigley Field.
It was another underwhelming victory for a Wolverine team that nonetheless continues its march toward a season ending clash against top-ranked Ohio State.
If they were playing like Maryland here or something it might have mattered idk
But Zombie Wisconsin was never going to put up a fight against Indiana, so the letdown spot was wasted.
BuffKomodo: Indiana advances to 11-0 for the first time in program history with a decent shot at 12-0 after the bye. I can’t say enough how excited I am about this program. Now, Indiana needs to rest and gather itself to go win at Purdue. Worry about Indy and the CFP after that.
Narrator: Look at him acting like a fan of a winning team already! 1-0 baby!
HoustonBoiler: I would say a much, much, MUCH better than decent shot for Indiana to go 12-0.
BuffKomodo: Despite recent trends, I’m not counting the chickens till they hatch. Lucy hasn’t pulled the football in a while but I’m yet to see an obituary.
Narrator: Attaboy!
Kind of…: In 1981 Northwestern fielded what is widely believed to be the worst B1G football team of the last half century (yes, I know who Chris Ash is). The Wildcats went 0-11/0-9. 2025 Wisconsin is not that bad. They’re likely looking at 3-9/1-8, which, frankly, while being the worst Wisconsin team since Barry’s first year, isn’t even on the shortlist of worst B1G teams in recent history. But there is this: 1981 NW scored 75 points in 9 conference games, a miserable 8.33 ppg. 2025 Wisconsin? 47 points through 7 games, i.e., 6.7 ppg! Wisconsin needs 29 points their last two games, against the two coaches–Bielema and Fleck–with the most incentive to grind Wisconsin’s face into that mud, to avoid infamy. Yes, the schedule has been outlandish, and, yes, there have been QB injuries aplenty. But don’t deny the Badgers their flowers: the are historically inept.
Iowa does fumble the bag
Up 21-10 at halftime, they scored zero points in the second half and let USC come back to take the five point victory. Hate to see it.
But you also love to see it.
Narrator: Like Iowa or USC? Come write for us! We’ll pay you in making fun of your team until you rage quit!
Nothing to see here
Illinois doing Illinois things against a Maryland team not playing in September.
He Was A High School QB: Illinois is a deeper, more disciplined team than Maryland and it showed. Good teams win and great teams cover. We now have back to back winning regular seasons locked in for the first time since 1990. Bert has won more games in his first five seasons than any coach in Illinois history and we have a good shot at most wins in two years ever in Illinois storied history.
Larry31: Two more losses, at home to Michigan and on the road to Michigan State, and it is highly likely that Locks is gone. If Locks manages to eek out a win in the last two weeks, he is probably still gone. Apparently, Franklin’s $49 milllion buyout stipulates that another school could pay Franklin dick and Penn State covers the difference. I really wish Franklin’s ego would allow if to sign on to Maryland and have Penn state foot the bill for most of his salary.
Narrator: In this economy?!
Kind of…: This might work out perfectly for Maryland. Two years ago, Luke Fickell rather embarrassingly provided Indiana their only conference win…and they went out and hired Cignetti. This year, Maryland’s only conference win so far…need I say more?
LAZERZ!
Penn State’s postseason is still alive, as not playing a top 10 team miraculously leads to them not looking like ass for all 60 minutes.
Narrator: Iowa’s not a top 10 team.
Me: Yeah but that was Ethan Grunkemeyer’s first start. You don’t remember what happened the last time they threw a redshirt freshman to wolves at Kinnick?
Also me: THE MOST BEAUTIFUL TROPHY IN ALL OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL STAYS HOME!
Me, a third time: So this is what winning feels like, huh?
I didn’t watch it special, part 1
My child insisted on playing College Football 25 instead. Who am I to say no?
…I don’t know who it was taken out on that stretcher, but I hope he’s doing OK.
BoilerUp89: Ryan Walters is an asshole
BuffKomodo: A $9.3 million dollar asshole
BoilerUp89: I could comment on the game instead, but I won’t. You could say this is just sour grapes from a losing fan. Perhaps that’s true. All I know is my gut tells me that the guy is an asshole. Who would have thought Illini fans were right?
Narrator: I don’t know what these two are on about. I didn’t watch the game either.
HoustonBoiler: Well, Purdue took several steps back this evening with lots of dumb penalties, poor tackling, poor blocking, and all around poor play. One final opportunity to watch my team get its teeth kicked in remains. Maybe, just maybe they’ll be able to hold Indiana under 50. Don’t hold your breath.
I didn’t watch it special, part 2
If I wanted to see someone get fucked in the ass I’d have asked them to keep me awake for my colonoscopy.
MaximumSam: The Buckeyes participated in a football contest. The weather was pleasant, at least. Loved sitting in my sunroom watching football. And next week we get Rutgers. I’m sure that will be entertaining.
RUReady4Brazil: Rutgers didn’t play which made it a relaxing Saturday, though I had to console my Gamecock donor friends after their historic collapse.
HoustonBoiler: Bonus content: WTAF South Carolina? You were up 30-3 at the half and dominating. How could you let ATM off the hook?
Narrator: A is for Actual.
