NEW YORK – Sylvester Stallone has a beautiful family, an acting career filled with iconic roles and a box-office tally of over $7 billion from his movies.
But as the actor reveals in "The Steps: A Memoir" and during a conversation with USA TODAY, there is one thing he never received: the love of his mother, Jackie. To call his relationship with his late parents complicated would be an understatement.
"I love my mother in my own way because I wouldn't be here without her," Stallone, 80, says in a hotel suite overlooking Central Park. But while his world "is covered with thousands of bricks of regret," his mother, despite his upbringing and the way she treated Stallone, had no regrets. "So I just had to accept that. She had a way of convincing herself
that she did the best she could."
In "The Steps," Stallone details how the 1976 film "Rocky," which he wrote and starred in, came to be. But he also looks back on his childhood as he was born to an Italian immigrant father and a mother who was raised in foster care despite coming from a well-off family. While he did share a few, fleeting emotional moments with his father Frank Sr., he writes in the book that as a child, both parents treated him as a burden.
Stallone admits that the lack of love in his household eventually proved "disastrous" as he became a father himself.
"There's two kinds of love: love where you really are interested in giving because you love to see the people around you blossom," he says. "Then when you've been deprived as a child, you go out and you seek it and you become hungry for it. It's like a vampire and it's never enough. That's not love. It's a need to try to fill the holes."
Stallone's memoir concludes with the 1977 Academy Awards, where "Rocky" won best picture. It set up a career in which he navigated the highs and lows of fame.
"It's like you're getting loved by people who have no idea who you are yet," he remarks. "I have to keep thinking, 'This is not real. They're cheering for Rocky. You just happened to be the vessel that was lucky enough to do it.'"
During a wide-ranging interview, Stallone reveals a near-breaking point in the creation of "Rocky," talks candidly about the genesis of a rumored long-standing Hollywood feud and reflects on the "emotional storm" of his upbringing.
Sylvester Stallone invited his mom to the Oscars. She declined.
Stallone bluntly describes his upbringing as "derelict." The actor, born with a crooked mouth and facial slur, changed his name in school so that kids wouldn't call him "Sylvester the Cat." The teasing persisted because of his appearance and speech, and it led to Stallone's enrollment in a behavioral school.
The actor writes of verbal and physical abuse he suffered as a child. Stallone says his parents would tell him that he ruined their lives. He recalls his father once physically throwing him off a horse during a polo match at age 13. Stallone, who like his father loved horses, didn't ride another one for 30 years.
But he still tried to have a relationship with his parents well into his adulthood. He gave his father a role in "Rocky," however when his dad refused to follow his son's and the director's cues, an argument ensued that led to his father storming off set.
And when "Rocky" received 10 Academy Award nominations, Stallone phoned his mother to invite her to the prestigious awards show. Jackie hadn't seen her son's film and insisted that she be allowed to bring a "dear friend," Vivian. When Stallone told her he only had one ticket for her, she instead opted to watch the Oscars on TV.
Reflecting on his parents, Stallone says there's still "an emotional storm that continues to rage in my soul" about his relationship with them. But both in the book and during the interview, he attempts to find a silver lining.
"Maybe that was a spark that got me fired up because when someone tells you 'no,' the human nature just is like, 'What'd you say?'" he continues, suggesting that their dismissal fueled his motivation to succeed. "So I'm going, 'Did they do me a favor by being just who they are? Do I thank you for punching me in the mouth or not?'"
Sylvester Stallone addresses a rumored Hollywood feud
In "The Steps," Stallone begins with a story about a 1969 backpacking trip through Europe after leaving the University of Miami and an encounter with a fortune teller in Spain. She tells Stallone that he'll succeed in theatrical setting, drama specifically, and that he'll encounter his own fortune by 1976 (which is the year "Rocky" hit theaters).
From there, he moves to New York City where he takes any odd job he can (movie theater usher, deli worker, zoo cleaner) to pay for a roof over his head. Stallone is shunned from agency after agency, looking them up in a phone book and using a passport photo as a headshot. However a few lucky breaks led to Stallone signing with William Morris Agency and then through a friend, landing an audition for a role in "The Lords of Flatbush" alongside Richard Gere and Robert De Niro.
Of course, neither of those actors ended up in the 1974 film. De Niro's role went to Henry Winkler, who Stallone counts as a friend to this day. And Gere was recast after an on-set fight with Stallone. In "The Steps," Stallone writes that he and Gere weren't friendly from the jump. The breaking point came in between takes during lunch. While Stallone opted for a hot dog, he writes Gere was sitting next to him eating a piece of chicken in tinfoil that was covered in mustard and grease.
Stallone warned Gere not to spill any of it, to which Gere said he wouldn't. Shortly after, Gere took a bite and grease splattered on Stallone's jeans. A fight ensued. Director Stephen Verona realized he needed to choose between the two actors and picked Stallone.
Over 50 years later, Stallone admits his relationship with Gere never recovered. But he can laugh about the incident.
"In one way, I think it might have even helped us both, because I went in this direction and he went on to success on Broadway, that kind of thing," Stallone says. Gere was a steady presence on screen throughout the late '70s and gained prestige for his portrayal of a gay Holocaust victim in the 1979 Broadway production of "Bent."
Stallone believes the whole thing happened because at the time, "We don't have a product. We're not selling books. We don't sell clothes. You're selling the flesh on your body and when it's rejected, my God, it becomes biblical."
Sylvester Stallone reveals the moment he almost sold the 'Rocky' script
Speaking of biblical, the story of Stallone's journey with the movie "Rocky" is Hollywood lore. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have said that it spurred them to write and then star in "Good Will Hunting." The story also inspired the new film called "I Play Rocky," in which another relatively unknown actor from New York named Anthony Ippolito plays a young, stubborn Stallone.
As the story goes, a bidding war took place for the script with one caveat: the studio wanted to attach an established star to play the title character. Stallone was living in Los Angeles with his wife Sasha, who was pregnant with their first child. As the bid for the script increased, Stallone's financial situation worsened.
"If they tell you 'Drop dead, go away, we don't want to do it,' it's truly over," Stallone says of the game of "chicken" he played with the studio in 1975. At his lowest point, Stallone had $85 in the bank and a house he couldn't afford. His first wife Sasha was pregnant and they were so strapped for cash, he sold his dog Butkus (who he'd later purchase back).
Meanwhile the bidding reached $300,000. Adjusted for inflation, that is today's equivalent of selling a script for over $1.8 million. While he now admits there were "cracks in the wall," Stallone still held firm that he play the lead. He eventually realized that even though he wasn't "the best actor in the world," he was more fearful of selling out than going broke.
"Even though it would've been, let's say marginally successful, the money would've been gone and I would've been an empty shell of a man," he says.
Stallone went the distance and ultimately won on the judges' scorecard: "Rocky" was the highest grossing film of 1976 and took home best picture at the Oscars in 1977. It launched Stallone into Hollywood stardom. And it even proved that the fortune teller knew what she was talking about.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Sylvester Stallone says painful truth about his parents fueled 'Rocky' success
