Michael Seare never expected the news of his divorce to go viral.
He's not a celebrity, nor an influencer − he just cracked 1,000 followers on Instagram this week. But when he posted a "Divorce FAQ" online, it received not only over 31,000 likes on Instagram, but over 5 million views when reshared by users on X.
"A normal man announced his divorce in this way and Instagram fed it to a bunch of people (including me)," one user wrote. "I’m dying at the FAQ slide."
Seare's post was simple. It read: "Major life update friends! Chloe and I have made the difficult decision to divorce... Have any questions?"
He came prepared. The next slide on the Instagram carousel was titled, "Divorce FAQ," and had answers to all the basics: What prompted the split,
who will keep the pets, how to navigate friendships with each of them and who's moving where.
It's not uncommon for exes to take to social media to share the news of their split. In 2018, YouTubers David Dobrik and Liza Koshy announced their breakup to over 20 million followers in an emotional video titled "We Broke Up." More recently, family influencers who have built platforms on their relationships have had to go public with lengthy breakup explainers. And, celebrities often put out statements when divorce news goes public. But for a "regular" guy like Seare, the internet was taken aback by how straightforward and honest the post was.
Why this 'normal man' decided to write a 'Divorce FAQ'
The couple had already told their close friends and family about the divorce weeks before the post went up, and found themselves "starring down the barrel of dozens of similar conversations." To update their larger circle, posting online was the easiest way to "protect their own emotions," Seare told USA TODAY.
"It seemed the best way to get in front of all that repetitive heartache," he said. His wife made an identical post, with an "objectively funnier choice of background music" ("Goin’ Though the Big D" by Mark Chesnutt), Seare added. However, her account was private.
Despite having a public Instagram account, Seare never imagined that the algorithm would carry his post so far.
"I thought those that cared would have a simple, 'Oh that’s too bad. Wish them the best' kind of reaction and the rest would ignore it entirely as the post-social and quasi-cringe post that it is," he said.
At first, the virality was exciting, and Seare engaged with the "whimsical comments" while ignoring any "bad-faith assumptions" or projections of negative divorce experiences. He and his wife split amicably, and the post made it clear that they intended to stay friends.
However, the post soon started to cause exactly what it was meant to avoid − loads of questions, and too much attention. For the most part, the internet was kind. But within a few days, Seare found himself spending hours doomscrolling through every post, repost and comment, each one framing his personal life in a new, sometimes bizarre perspective.
"It was affecting my healing process so I stopped," he shared.
The 'Divorce FAQ' shows how much people value humor and communication in tough times
Seare's biggest takeaway from his viral moment is how much people value honest communication, especially when it comes to how to support a friend after divorce.
"So many people made comments in the theme of, 'Man, I wished all my friends broke up with a post like this,'" he shared. "We want to know how to help our friends and sometimes that looks like an emotionally detached designation of needs and actionable options."
Amy Morin, psychotherapist and author of "The Mental Strength Playbook," says using humor can be a strong coping skill, and a "strategic way to deal with social awkwardness."
"Instead of feeling embarrassed to share the story or feeling sad every time you get predictable questions, use humor to be proactive," she said. "Get it out there on the table and make it known."
It's a stark contrast to "hoping no one notices you took off your wedding ring or to just giving a vague 'we decided to part ways,'" she added. That vulnerability can welcome increased connection and relatability.
"This can lead to deeper conversations and more emotional support," Morin said.
Though many found it humorous, Seare isn't quite sure what role humor played in making the actual announcement.
"I’d like humor to be part of our pain but not to the extent that it stifles genuineness and vulnerability," he said. "When I find the answer I’ll be sure to post it. I hope it goes viral too."
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: He posted a 'Divorce FAQ' for his friends on Instagram. Then, it got millions of views
