At 27, Jessie Owen loved her life. She was a 6th grade teacher in Seattle. She lived in a "cute little apartment," went out with friends on the weekends, ran triathlons and enjoyed Sunday dinners at her parents' house.
But in December of 2012, her world turned upside-down. A snow-laden tree fell on top of the car she was in with her parents, brother, sister and brother-in-law. Her parents were killed instantly, her siblings were injured and Owen was paralyzed.
She spent about a year in partial hospitalization and rehab. "I was scared to be alone," she said. A revolving door of friends, family and lawyers kept her company, sleeping on the floor of her hospital room.
"I had lost everything. Everything. My job, my apartment, my autonomy, my independence,
my parents, my support system, my ability to drive, my ability to make decisions for myself, my ability to brush my teeth," Owen, now 41, said. "That was so much trauma. I don't think my brain fully let me sink into it."
At first, Owen thought that if she worked hard enough in rehab, she'd gain back most, if not all, of the function and mobility she'd lost. "Every version of recovery I pictured ended with me walking," she said. But eventually that dream dimmed, as she realized how serious her injuries were. With time, she started to focus on the things she could do and control, like her dating life. She started sharing her story online, and has gained more than 700,000 followers across TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. Her goal? To be the hope she needed as a newly paralyzed person all those years ago.
After all, Owen said, she's been able to accomplish so much she never thought possible in those early days of recovery. For starters, she never imagined she could become a mother.
She remembers the ultrasound technician finding her baby's heartbeat for the first time.
"I got teary and I was like, holy crap, this is everything that I ever wanted. This is everything that I ever dreamed about, but didn't think I was going to get," she said. "I didn't think I could ever be loved. I didn't think I was capable of having children."
Then, the ultrasound technician threw her another curveball: "And here's the other heartbeat."
Owen started laughing.
"Of course we're doing this the hard way," she remembers thinking. "That's just, you know, super on brand for me. And so now we have a geriatric, quadriplegic twin pregnancy."
Dating, marriage and motherhood as a quadriplegic
In those first few years after she was paralyzed, Owen started to regain some function in her legs, but said her hands remain the most frustrating part of her injury. She eventually became part of a six-month clinical trial that required several treatments each week including baseline testing, occupational therapy and external stimulation of the spinal cord. She said she "went into it without a lot of expectations," but "the possibility of greater independence mattered enough to me that I was willing to do practically anything."
That clinical trial has now grown into Arc-Ex, a Food and Drug Administration-approved stimulation device that goes on the back of a paralyzed person's neck to improve their hand sensation and strength.
"I could not put my hair in a ponytail before this clinical trial. And I still cannot put my hair in a ponytail," she said. But she can "get closer," she said, adding that slow progress is still progress in her eyes.
The treatment made it feel like her life became 5% to 20% easier, depending on the day. For Owen, the trial opened up the door of possibility and hope she needed. It gave her the confidence to keep moving forward. So, she started online dating.
Some people wanted to know her whole life story on the first date, while others didn't ask her too many questions about her wheelchair. She was always more impressed with the latter.
"I went on a lot of really bad dates. But that was the fun of it," she said. "Eventually I met a man with a mustache, so phenomenal. And I made him fall so hard, he put a ring on it."
She found out she was pregnant three months after the wedding. Her pregnancy was uncomfortable, and she was nervous about being a mom. Owen knew she'd likely not be able to change many diapers on her own or even transfer to her wheelchair in the mornings to get her babies when they cried. But her husband didn't leave her any room to worry.
"He said − I remember this so clearly − he goes, 'That's OK. I'm so happy to do that, because very little of being a parent is the physical aspect of it,'" she said. "When you think about who your mom and dad were, do you remember them changing your diaper? Or do you remember them showing up for you, and talking with you, and playing with you?"
Now, her boys are 4 years old. She shares what everyday mom life looks like as a quadriplegic with twins on her social media accounts.
"I would have loved to be able to see someone who had a journey like mine back when I was injured," she said. "I didn't know anyone who was paralyzed. I certainly didn't know any women, and I certainly didn't know any women that had babies and fell in love post-injury."
Her platform now allows her to secure speaking engagements and consult with disability advocacy groups. It would be easy to focus on the tragedy she endured, Owen said, but she's "always been pretty good about finding joy."
"This is, without a doubt, the life that I want to live," she said, adding that not being able to walk "really isn't that bad" − something she never thought she'd say when she first woke up paralyzed in the hospital. "I get to do meaningful work. I live in a house that I love and is accessible to me. I have a husband who is certifiably obsessed with me. And twin boys who are mommy's boys. And I am so happy."
Madeline Mitchell's role covering women and the caregiving economy at USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input.
Reach Madeline at memitchell@usatoday.com and @maddiemitch_ on X.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: She was paralyzed in a car crash that killed her parents. Now, she's a mom of twins
