Dave Mustaine already spent a lifetime overcoming an abusive and alcoholic father and his own addiction demons.
But when he was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma at the base of his tongue in February 2019, the cofounder, frontman and guitarist for Megadeth was forced to face his most formidable foe.
“In My Darkest Hour” (out now from Hachette) ‒ named for a song from Megadeth's 1988 album "So Far, So Good... So What!" ‒ details Mustaine’s cancer journey with unflinching candor, plainspokenness and wry humor. The pain he thought was tooth-related. The discovery of an inch-wide tumor at the back of his tongue. The foiled plans for Megadeth to record the follow-up to its Grammy-winning “Dystopia” album. Frustrations with the health care system,
even for someone with “wealth and access.” How his faith was tested and his concerns elevated considering his 17 previous trips to rehab.
Mustaine, with some commentary from his wife, Pam, and kids Electra and Justis, is unsparing in revisiting the emotional and physical toll that wracked him and his family until he received the all-clear in October 2019.
A week before the book’s release, Mustaine, clad in a Megadeth T-shirt and black-rimmed glasses, is relentlessly pacing throughout his hotel suite in Toronto, where that night the band will take the stage as guests on a tour featuring fellow metal monsters Iron Maiden.
He looks healthy, even pausing to stretch his leg on a piece of hotel furniture while still holding his camera phone, and sounds like a guy who never took life for granted, but is even more grateful following his ordeal.
Here's what Mustaine had to say about his new love - fencing - maintaining his stamina and what strength means to him now.
Question: You’re currently on tour with Iron Maiden and in the book you write about how Bruce Dickinson helped you during your cancer journey. Is that a friendship you’ve maintained?
Dave Mustaine: Yeah, as a matter of fact we were talking about scheduling a time when we could get some fencing in.
I know you’re into kickboxing, but fencing, too?
Kickboxing was part of my martial arts regiment. I started off doing karate and then I got into all kinds of different styles, but fencing is new. I just got my fourth black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. So I'm a professor in Brazilian jiu-jitsu and turning 65 (Sept. 13). That doesn't sound like slowing down.
It sounds like the opposite of slowing down.
I'm taking care of myself. I remember my sensei telling me when we were young that you need to take time to digest your information and you can't gobble it. And I thought, that's not what I want. I want to gobble it. I want to be a black belt immediately. I was not patient. I wanted to be Cobra Kai.
You end the book on a positive note about how things could have been much worse. How are you feeling now?
I feel great. I feel like I have regular life back. Every once in a while I'll have aches and pains in places that I didn't know I had. It's good to keep myself in check and make sure that I stretch out as much as possible. It helps me to remember who I am and what I do for a job and the people that like and love me. I've got stuff that I need to do. I need to take care of myself. I don't want to see anything happen to (guitarist) Teemu (Mäntysaari). He's such a sweet guy. And (bassist) James (LoMenzo), too. I would feel rotten if something happened to those guys because of something I did.
With the book coming out, has it been cathartic to talk about your cancer or does it dig up painful memories?
It depends on what memories you're talking about. I've got really good memories right now. It’s been so much better than it's ever been in the past. Just seeing old friends and hooking up with people that I haven't talked to for years. God, it's just so much different.
Different in the sense that there was a point where you thought you might never have this back?
Yes. And we are having an amazing tour. Everything's selling out. We just can't wait to hang out with (the Iron Maiden) guys.
Have you had to increase your physical activity to stay strong?
There's been some stuff we've done to increase my stamina, but sometimes I have to cut back on it because the extra cardio, it makes me burn too many calories. So I’ve got to be careful there because I get too skinny. It makes me look like I don't have an ass anymore.
But that's a rock star look!
(Laughs) If you're an alien in the (Rolling) Stones.
It’s cool that the book includes commentary from your wife, your kids, your drummer (Dirk Verbeuren) and even your doctor to explain to readers what was happening. Why did you want to include their words?
Because I forgot some of it. I wanted it to be as genuine as possible. And I wanted this to be most the hopeful journey as possible. If people are on a journey with you – which is what the audiobook is ‒ you want them to be able to feel every step of the way.
What was the hardest thing to revisit in putting the book together?
I had been scared out of my pants so many times. And I was pretty terrified by all of the steps that had happened that a lot of it, when I played it in my head, I thought, this isn't real, this is a movie.
What do you do now on the road as far checking in with doctors and regulating your medications?
You mean the addiction and the medication and all that stuff?
Yes.
I'm sure you're wondering. It's the elephant in the front room. I made an agreement with my doctor, who is a wonderful oncologist, and I have a contract with her and she and I meet every month. As soon as we get back (from the tour), I have lab tests, both blood and urine. And I go and see my concierge doctor and he checks me for my blood cell count and what's going on with my levels on everything. We do that part probably every three months … And then the medication itself, we have a person who has control of all of the medication and they keep it.
So you don't have access to it?
No, I don't … When we first got to Toronto, we got up, we went to the hotel. Our alarm went off to set all of our supplements and vitamins. Then we ate, went to the gym and then to the venue. Did jiu-jitsu. And then we played that night and wash, rinse, repeat.
For decades, you have been viewed as one of the toughest guys in rock and metal. After everything that you've been through, what does strength mean to you now?
I think strength is something that you can't really hold on to until you realize that you can't hold onto it. Does that make sense?
It does make sense. And I think you're showing it every night when you get on stage.
Oh, thank you. That's cool.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Megadeth's Dave Mustaine has a new definition of strength after terrifying cancer battle
