In his memoir, Eric Dane chronicles the moments that mattered the most: the day he got sober, the day he met his future wife, the day he was diagnosed with ALS.
But it’s his “Today” chapters in “My Book of Days” (out now from The Open Field) that are the most emotional to read. In these interludes, Dane breaks the fourth wall and speaks directly to his daughters, 16-year-old Billie and14-year-old Georgia. The advice ranges from silly (“Do not date coworkers. It will not end well”) to profound: “Girls, time is precious. Never kill it, or waste it. Preserve it. As we’ve seen, you never know how much time you have left.” Here, he also reveals his biggest regret is not spending enough time with them.
Dane worked on his memoir for the last year of
his life. He died in February at age 53, nine months before the book went on sale. Still, his wife and best friend Rebecca Gayheart told USA TODAY Dane would be “really happy” with how the memoir turned out.
Eric Dane shares touching advice for daughters in memoir
When they read Dane’s posthumous memoir, Gayheart hopes fans see Dane “beyond McSteamy,” his heartthrob character on “Grey’s Anatomy.” Dane primarily addresses his family in the memoir, but he shares wisdom that his fans will undoubtedly take to heart, too.
“Don’t wait until you get the worst possible news before you decide to become your best possible person,” he writes.
When he gets to his final chapter, “The Last Today,” Dane shares a loving final tribute to his daughters:
“Billie and Georgia, I don’t think I’m too afraid of dying. I think what I’m really afraid of is what’s going to happen to me preceding my death. I’m scared of becoming nonverbal and bedridden, unable to move. I fear having a sharp mind still and not having the ability to express myself anymore.
“And the timing of this disease sucks. I was so looking forward to seeing the women you would become. I try to imagine you in 10 years. Georgia. Who will you be at twenty-four? I see you – beautiful, poised, confident. Billie. Who will you be at twenty-six? I see you – also beautiful, imposing, strong. You both have such big hearts. You have so much to share with the world. I am certain you will both develop a strong system, great close friends, and you will have each other. But girls, please don’t follow in my footsteps. Take my experiences, the negative ones, as a cautionary tale.”
He advises them not to go into show business (“that would be ideal, and emotionally healthy,” he writes) but acknowledges they very well may. He was right. Georgia is set to make her acting debut in Lifetime movie “The Ocean Between Them” alongside her mother, the network announced in August.
He warns them to “marry well, and by that I mean marry someone with character, someone with compassion, someone who treats you as an equal, and most of all, someone who sees you,” lamenting the fact that he won’t be around to meet their future significant others.
But he knows they’re both interested in dating, and can’t resist embarrassing his daughter with one final dad joke: “But recently, Billie mentioned that she would like to marry Jacob Elordi, who plays my son in ‘Euphoria.’ I approve. He’s a good kid. See? Maturity.”
Before ending with “Good night, I love you,” Dane urges his daughters to keep fighting and never give up, especially in the face of adversity.
“I see you now, my daughters, and I’m bursting with pride at the young women you’re on the verge of becoming. I did a lot of wrong in my life, made a ton of missteps. But you two are my legacy, my heart, my everything,” he writes.
In the months since Dane's death, Gayheart says the teenagers are “doing as well as can be expected.”
“Something we're all learning is that grief is not linear,” she told USA TODAY.
Gayheart also knows her daughters will one day be curious about their dad's life and is grateful that they can learn about him in his own words.
“It’s a gift … my daughters don’t have to ask any questions about certain things. He explains his journey, his life and his words in this book,” Gayheart says.
Clare Mulroy is USA TODAY’s Books Reporter, covering buzzy releases, chatting with authors and diving into the culture of reading. Find heron Instagram, subscribe to our weeklyBooks newsletter or tell her what you’re reading at cmulroy@usatoday.com.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Eric Dane shares regrets, hopes for his teenage daughters in emotional letter
