Years ago, Apple came out with its "there's an app for that" marketing slogan, which, at the time, felt reassuring and maybe a bit playful.
In retrospect, it seems more like a dire warning about what was to come.
Our world has evolved into a place where there truly seems to be an app to handle even some of the most routine functions of daily life. That's often more of a curse than a convenience.
Like a lot of people these days, I'm quite attached to my phone. I use it for everything from accessing work-related news articles to utterly frivolous tasks, like reminding me who took over for Sky Marshal Dienes in the 1997 movie "Starship Troopers." (Spoiler alert: It was Tehat Meru. She had a plan to beat the bugs.)
Yet if I had to pick a relationship
status for me and my phone, I'd go with "it's complicated."
Do you own your phone, or does your phone own you?
While there's growing national concern about Flock Safety cameras snooping on us, society seems to have collectively shrugged its shoulders at the notion that phone companies – and whoever they wish to share information with – can use the devices they sell us to track our movements and even listen to our conversations.
Maybe that's OK, as long as we still have the option of leaving our phones behind. But how much longer will that be practical, when more and more mundane functions require apps to complete them?
Some restaurants now require patrons to scan QR codes to access their menus. Parking lots require payment by apps only. Many sports stadiums allow access only with e-tickets.
Not long ago, I passed on reserving a spot at what otherwise looked to be a perfectly acceptable Airbnb rental because online reviewers warned that the keyless entry, activated only by an app, didn't work properly.
It was clear to me we had crossed some new frontier when The New Yorker published a cartoon in which a plumber advises a homeowner that his toilet has no flush handle, because a "FlushMe" app is needed to operate the device.
Humor usually tracks closely with reality.
When a convenience becomes more of a burden
When businesses began offering cashless electronic payment options, the concept was sold as a convenience to customers. These days, I don't find it convenient to go through the process of downloading a parking app in a rainstorm – or when the bright sun is glaring off my screen. (Charmed are the people who find parking spots anywhere near the signs providing instructions on how to use those apps.)
How long will it be before the "tap to pay" option on people's phones is the only method of payment some businesses will accept?
It feels like we're all just a dropped phone or a forgotten recharging session away from missing out on some of life's most important moments.
I'll be the first to admit there are few occasions when I actually want to leave the house without my phone. Like my wallet and keys, it's become a routine carry-along accessory.
Still, I can think of some situations when I'd rather be unencumbered by it.
Taking your phone to the beach, where it's readily accessible to thieves, gives you something to worry about while you're frolicking in the waves. Phones don't do well after baking in the sun, either.
They're a liability on kayaking and snorkeling trips, too.
With the costs of new phones rising and their planned obsolescence, it's not out of the realm of possibility that someday I'll be unable (or at least unwilling) to afford a replacement. I suspect phone purchases place financial hardships on many people already.
How much of a good thing is too much?
I remember being told going "paperless" would be good for the environment. Yet with the large amounts of energy and water that data centers require, I'm not convinced there's a net gain anymore.
I keep hearing that we suddenly need a data center on every corner to keep up with people's demand for more computing power. To that, I ask: Which people?
My phone from 10 years ago already had more functionality than I wanted or needed. AI-generated videos of Sarah Palin aren't improving the quality of my life one bit.
Not to get too dramatic, but some religious people fear that being "marked" is a sign the end-times are upon us. Some have theorized this would be accomplished by microchipping.
While I'm not really into doomsday prophecies, it is worth pointing out we're already carrying around those chips in our phones. No need to surgically implant them if we already can't live without them.
So call me a Luddite if you want. As we're reaching a point where it's hard to tell if we're controlling our phones or they're controlling us, Apple's old slogan now strikes me as neither playful nor reassuring.
Blake Fontenay is USA TODAY's commentary editor.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: When we need an app to flush, it's time to hang it all up | Opinion
