Collin Gosselin, one of sextuplet siblings in "Jon & Kate Plus 8," believes mom Kate Gosselin has a reason to be nervous.
Collin, described as "stubborn, yet kind" in the TLC show's title credits, spent his adolescence in front of American audiences as camera crews followed him and his seven siblings through pumpkin patches, playgrounds and international vacations. Producers crafted a story of one (very) big happy family, but Collin recalls a fabricated reality, marked by verbal and physical abuse allegations, neglect and isolation when cameras weren't rolling.
In Collin's memoir, "In the Shadow of Eight: Surviving the Reality of My Childhood," (out now) he says heprovides new details around a runaway attempt, his basement bedroom that locked
from the outside, the moment his mom Kate allegedly wrapped his arms and ankles with zip ties and his time spent in psychiatric institution Fairmount Behavioral Health System.
Although estranged from his mother, Collin still maintains a close relationship with his father Jon Gosselin, who obtained legal and physical custody of him and sister Hannah Gosselin in 2018. Although twins Madelyn and Cara Gosselin, and sextuplets Alexis, Aaden, Joel and Leah Gosselin have not outwardly supported him, he says he doesn't "blame" their decision to live private lives.
"My mom fed them so much stuff about me and they didn't see a lot of what happened," Collin, 22, tells USA TODAY. "They would go off to school every day. I would be at home. I would bear the wrath of my mom."
Below, Collin talks about feeling "imprisoned" at the behavioral facility, why he feels the need to get a polygraph test on Kate and the push for oversight for child performers.
Fairmount Behavioral Health System representatives did not respond to USA TODAY's requests for comment. Kate's representatives also did not respond to USA TODAY's request for comment.
Question: There's a moment in the book where you talk about how your mom allegedly pulled your ear often as a way to discipline you. At what point did you start to think this wasn't discipline and could be something more serious?
Collin Gosselin: I was dragged by my ear so many times. I don't think as an adult that's something that you do to a child. I think discipline and abuse … are two completely different things. I don't think putting your hands on your kid on the daily is what I would consider discipline. It's not doing anything in the brain of a child besides damaging it.
In the book, you mention a basement bedroom that locked from the outside. What's the longest you were locked in there? How did you handle that?
Weekends really were horrible because my mom would sleep in, and I'd be up early and I'd just sit there until the afternoon. My siblings would be running around the house. I could hear them upstairs.
Every kid looks forward to the weekend because they're like, 'Yay, I get to go hang out with my friends or I get to do this or do that or have fun.' On weekends, I just sat there − and I mean for hours, sometimes entire days when she'd go away for work and she'd instruct the nannies to put me there and tell them it'd probably be easier if I was down there while she wasn't in the house. So I spent many, many hours in the day, down in that room.
You alleged that your mom Kate Gosselin zip-tied your arms and legs. How did it feel to put those allegations on the page? How do you sit with that now?
That was one of the most pivotal things to write about and to put on paper. It's scary because it sounds so unbelievable that a parent would do that to their child. Hence why I've wanted, multiple times, to do a lie detector test on my mom.
What would you ask her?
Hooked up to a bunch of machines, I would ask her: did you zip-tie me? Because she claims that she hasn't, and she's not accepting my invitation to do a lie detector test, which I very much want to do.
How long were you zip-tied in that room?
Time really was a blur lying there. It was a weird moment because I was bound by my mom, and I was like, 'What? This is not normal.'
You say these events were a result of your attempt to run away. What was going through your mind when you made that choice?I was scared because I wanted to get out, and I had to turn right back to the exact place. People don't understand how scary that is. When you leave somewhere where you're not safe, and then you realize you don't have anywhere to go, and to literally turn yourself around and have to go back to the exact place where you're unsafe. It's it's one of the hardest things to do.
After spending 22 months at the behavioral institution, you left in 2016. How did you cope for nearly 2 years?
I see online that it says I was admitted there at 12. I was actually 11. It was four days before my 12th birthday, which is insane. Every day I questioned why I was there and every day I questioned when I was leaving. I just don't know how to explain it. It's just crazy. When I think back to that, I was imprisoned as a child and I'd see all these kids come and go and I try to make friends with them, and then they'd leave. Then you question after you see 100 people come and go, why am I still here? What is keeping me here?
Kate made an Instagram post in 2023 where she alleged you had multiple psychiatric diagnoses and the decision to institutionalize you was after one of your outbursts involving a weapon. Can you talk about what she meant by a weapon?
My mom had hired one of her friends to come over throughout the week when I was homeschooled to be my art teacher. And there are these hook and latch kits. It's this little grid and you take a piece of yarn and you hook it. My art teacher introduced that to me as something that was calming. I like to focus on things and complete projects. And that's what my mom claimed was a weapon. If you look up a hook, there's nothing sharp on it at all.
What is your relationship like with her now. Have you had any conversations?
Last time I talked to my mom was a 20 minute period where she came to Fairmount [Behavioral Health System]. [It was] the first time I'd seen her in a little over a year and the entire time she lectured me and told me that I broke our family and that I deserved to be exactly where I was. Told me how well my siblings were doing without me. That they they don't care to see me. They don't care to talk to me, any of that. I was in tears, and that's the last time I talked to my mom.
You've talked about the lack of oversight for kids that are growing up online. Do you draw any parallels to the experience you had?
The problem isn't kids being put on TV, it's not kids being put on social media, it's the parents not protecting them. A child could have a talent and they should be able to use that and show the world, but they should be protected. The parents are oftentimes the ones that are not saying, 'You have a choice here. You don't need to do this hours on the day, every single day.'
I'll say this over and over again, your children are not your meal ticket. Parents need to stop relying on their children to bring in money to pay their bills. It's not the child's job and I will stand on that 10 toes down. It's unfortunate that you even have to say that.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Collin Gosselin last talked to mom Kate after being 'imprisoned' in behavioral facility
