William Shatner is no stranger to the memoir, but his latest takes fans inside his head in a uniquely intimate way.
“Wisdom & Worries” (out now from Open Road Media) forgoes the traditional chronological life story format for reflections in verse. In a statement to USA TODAY, Shatner said this memoir was “my attempt to put my own life, feelings and observations into context.” His hope is that fans can find similar meaning in their lives.
In this new excerpt, shared exclusively with USA TODAY, Shatner writes about his late wife Nerine Kidd, who died in 1999 after drowning in a swimming pool while intoxicated. The autopsy showed Kidd had been taking sleeping pills and drinking heavily the night before she drowned.
Now, Shatner writes that the pair
“lived beneath a veil/Of manufactured lies” and wishes he was more open with her before her death.
Read William Shatner’s emotional tribute to late wife Nerine Kidd
Many aspects of my personal life have played out in public, including some of the most difficult moments and painful losses I’ve ever had to endure. I’m still haunted by memories of my late wife; and I question my blindness to her suffering and my own emotional limitations that likely impacted both of us.
Vulnerable
Our love was like a mystery
A wild horse to break
But the more I thought I’d figured out
The more became opaque
You started as a puzzle
A challenge and a quest
I thought I saw the whole of you
But shadows hid the rest
I pleaded for your honesty
Vowed always to be true
I’d never mind whatever flaws
Or scars that might show through
You flashed your smiles and promises
And I believed them all
Could not pick up your true despair
Until after the fall
If only you’d been vulnerable with me
If only you’d been vulnerable and see
If only you had felt my love was real
If only we had both learned how to heal
I took on all the blame
But never realized
I also lived beneath a veil
Of manufactured lies
How could you connect
With who I claimed to be
When I was a different person
Than I ever let you see
If only I’d been vulnerable with you
If only I’d let my true self show through
If only I’d believed your love was real
If only we had both learned how to heal
So the mystery I solved
But the answer came too late
Our life together had already been
Cruelly sacrificed to fate
You never opened up
To heal wounds over time
Because I didn’t love myself
Enough to show you mine
If only I’d been vulnerable with you
If only I’d let my true self show through
If only I’d believed your love was real
If only we had both learned how to heal
Clare Mulroy is USA TODAY’s Books Reporter, covering buzzy releases, chatting with authors and diving into the culture of reading. Find heron Instagram, subscribe to our weeklyBooks newsletter or tell her what you’re reading at cmulroy@usatoday.com.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: William Shatner gets vulnerable about wife who drowned in memoir | Exclusive
