Well that wasn't much.
During the Arizona Cardinals' dispiriting 31-7 loss to the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday, Sept. 20, Fox play-by-play announcer Chris Myers praised an admittedly amazing interception by Seattle's Julian Love.
"A fingertip grab! You've got to love it," Myers said, before pausing a second while evidently remembering that some Cardinals fans might be watching, too.
"If you're Seattle," he added.
Indeed. Yet toward the end of the game, analyst Mark Schlereth watched Seahawks coach Mike Macdonald and his players celebrating. "He is having a great time right now," Schlereth said. "Everybody is."
Well, maybe not everybody. But anyone inclined to disagree had probably given up the ghost long before. There was no reason for a Myers-like
backpedal.
The Cardinals' loss wasn't just disappointing. It was also boring
Sigh. The game was a disappointment, given the Cardinals' 26-14 upset of the Los Angeles Chargers on Sept. 13. "Boy, a buzz in the desert that's optimistic," Myers said before the game started.
So much for that.
But it was more than just a disappointing loss. It was boring, at least from an Arizona perspective. The score was 7-7 at halftime. "As the score would indicate, it's been about defense," Myers helpfully noted. Yes, that, and a lack of offense. Zzzz.
But the Seahawks powered through the Cardinals' defense on long, clock-eating drives in the second half. That tends to wear a defense down. "This defensive front on that particular play just waved the white flag," Schlereth said after a long Seattle run. "They’re tripping over their tongues right now. … Exhaustion has set in. ... For a defense, it’s humiliating."
For a fan, it's boring. Well, to echo Myers, if you're Arizona.
In fairness, Seattle is the defending Super Bowl champion. They've won 12 games in a row. And they have dominated the Cardinals the last few years. So there was reason to be wary right from the start, despite Arizona's big win last week.
The Cardinals' 'rivalry' jerseys are an ugly mess
Plus ― I say this as a football fan and not a strategist, for obvious reasons (most having to do with a lack of expertise) ― the Cardinals looked awful. I don't mean their play, though that was certainly no great shakes. I mean they just looked bad, because they were wearing their alternate uniforms, a kind of ugly cream color with splotches all over the jerseys that are evidently supposed to look like sand or something but instead look like a white shirt you left wet in the washer and mildew set in. (Online research found that some people think it looks like "bird droppings." Also true.)
"Cardinals in their rivalry jerseys, by the way, connecting them to the desert," Myers said. "Not much of a rivalry in this series. The Seahawks have won nine straight."
Make it 10.
Notable by his absence, again, was Cardinals receiver Marvin Harrison Jr., who didn't catch a pass after catching only one last week.
"This guy's going to go on a milk carton pretty soon if they don't throw him the ball," Schlereth said. "He has flat-out not produced."
That was a highlight of Schlereth's analysis, which tells you all you need to know.
Look, there's no denying that Myers and Schlereth are not Fox's A-team for football broadcasts. But they're solid enough, kind of aggressively OK. They don't go in much for deep analysis. Mostly, they kind of describe what we see on the screen. But occasionally they break down some plays and credit where it's due; Schlereth was honest about his missed calls.
During the first half, the Cardinals had a choice to make, as they faced 4th and goal. Go for it, or kick the field goal? Myers advocated going for it, but Schlereth insisted that a field goal was the right play. The Cardinals went for it, scored a touchdown and Schlereth immediately acknowledged what viewers were thinking.
Oh, it helps to know that Schlereth's nickname is "Stink." (Long story, or stories, look it up.)
"Right now, I know what Arizona fans are saying. 'Come on, Stink,'" Schlereth said. "And you're right. Stink: 0, Arizona fans: 1."
Yes, when you are at the point where you're talking about an analyst keeping score of his musings, you know the game wasn't much. And it wasn't.
Again, though, this was the Seahawks, a team with a great defense. But things don't get any easier next week, when the Cardinals travel to San Francisco to face the 49ers.
"They feel good about the direction they're headed," Myers said of the Cardinals.
"There's a lot of good things happening in the desert right now," Schlereth added.
Maybe so. They just weren't happening Sunday.
Reach Goodykoontz at bill.goodykoontz@arizonarepublic.com. Facebook: facebook.com/GoodyOnFilm. Media commentary with a side of snark? Sign up for The Watchlist newsletter with Bill Goodykoontz.
This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: Cardinals' loss to Seattle was offensively boring TV | Opinion
