A former Interlochen Center for the Arts student is sharing journal entries from the 1970s that detail her experience being groomed by a faculty member.
The woman previously told the Detroit Free Press
she was a shy and vulnerable high schooler far from home when her symphony orchestra conductor, Byron Hanson, singled her out, made her feel like he was in love with her, and engaged in sexual activities with her.She was one of seven female former students to accuse Hanson of sexual misconduct during the school’s independent investigation into decades of sexual abuse allegations. According to the investigation report released in July, nearly 50 adults in leadership roles are accused of exploiting at least 70 former students at the Northern Michigan
arts school.
The Free Press generally does not name people who are victims in such cases.
After mentioning the journal in a previous interview with the Free Press, she shared the entries that unveil her thoughts as a student, at the time, under 18.
'Grew very naturally'
Hanson often accompanied student soloists on piano and practiced with them one-on-one, the alum previously said.
In one journal entry, the former student wrote that Hanson seemed to enjoy teasing her. She wrote she “almost died” when he saw her after a recital and leaned against a light post outside.
“I was immediately self-consciousness,” according to the entry. “His eyes!!!!!! So dark and low and serious as he watched me. I blushed when I looked into them. I felt as if he saw me – all of me – every corner of me and I felt embarrassed by his gaze – what did it mean?”
Hanson had an office in the basement of the girls' dormitory, and students often went to teachers’ homes for dinners or on holidays, the former student said. She first went to Hanson’s house with a group, then went there several times by herself and stayed in his bed, she said.
“Our relationship just grew very naturally,” according to one journal entry. “Nothing was planned or schemed or struggled for and won or lost. First it was teacher helping student, then it was mere friends, and now it is friends and lovers. It just happened, spontaneously again. I believe that he had no plan to seduce me the other night. He didn't plan it. It's just we were both willing and it happened.”
Confusing feelings
She later wrote, “some things have fallen into place” and “Maybe now things will start getting better.”
“It is so beautiful to express your love for someone … Byron was very gentle + totally aware of me – all of me – not just grasping at an empty shell,” according to the entry. “It will be hard for me to leave him but I’ve got to keep looking forward...But Byron will always be with me + by my side – Love is patient. It is such an uplifting feeling!”
Another day, she wrote that Hanson confuses her and that she didn’t know if he found her attractive and loved her “as his actions certainly sometimes indicate.”
“Sometimes I feel that he just doesn’t value things. I don't know,” according to the entry. “I have expressed everything to him + I get little or no reaction. But on Sunday, he could hardly keep his hands off me … For once, I felt like I was important to him. How he is cool + casual not unfriendly but – I don’t understand him at all!”
Some days, she wrote that she loved him and another day she wrote that she sees “how false it is” and that he should realize he hurts people.
“He puts on the same facade of love for so many people,” she wrote. “Why can’t he stop looking for affection from students. He should get away from here + get married + have a family. He gets close to you + he becomes special to you + he leads you to believe you are really important to him but he is the same with them all.”
'Without him, I die'
In one entry, she wrote that Hanson is the only person “who is capable of leading me through.”
“He is the only one who understands + sees + cares. And I cannot understand anything anymore - it has no meaning. He is the only one who has any hope of getting through. Without him, I die.”
It led to her attempting to overdose, according to the entries.
“But that day when I wanted to die, it was not only a punishment that I wanted to kill myself but also as an escape – a complete escape. It all made so much sense then, only it didn't work. Death seemed like nothing extremely formidable and everything else seemed so unreal that it seemed far better by comparison. I'm just really tired and bored of everything. It doesn't seem worth the struggle.”
Her father finds out
The student said she went from straight-A grades to barely graduating.
Her dad found her journal under her dresser while vacuuming, according to a letter he typed to her on July 22, 1976.
He wrote that he was worried about her because a man took advantage of her, and what that man did was “unpardonable.”
“You must agree that any reasonable person's interpretation of the last paragraph would have to be that Mr. Hanson had seduced you. I am sure you will understand that if that had happened I would be something less than a good father not to be greatly worried not just because a … man had taken advantage of my … daughter but also because of the very real chance of pregnancy. I am relieved to have your word that no sexual union occurred and as I told you last night I accept your word as the whole truth unequivocally.”
Her father was set to write to the school when her mom convinced him not to because she was worried about ruining Hanson’s career, the survivor said to the Free Press.
“Maybe it should have been ruined, because he only continued after I left,” she said. “But at that point, I was just so bathed in shame.”
'Not the kind of injuries that one can see'
"I can't un-experience and unlive the things that happened during a time when my personality, psyche, self-esteem were still being forged in the crucible of adolescence and damaged forever," she said in her previous interview with the Free Press.
Her parents died years ago, and Hanson died in 2021. She said she spent almost 50 years thinking she was the only one and that she decided to speak up when she realized that wasn’t the case.
"These are not the kind of injuries that one can see," the survivor said. "If I'd been badly burned in a fire in the dormitory that was negligence and was disfigured for life, people would say, 'Oh, yeah, that's really bad.' But I'm living in a nice house. I'm not a heroin addict on the street. But that doesn't mean that injuries (aren't there)."
She and her attorney, Matthew Curtis, said the hurt and abuse expressed in the entries highlight the need to change Michigan statute of limitation laws, which currently provide no legal route to justice.
"I hope my journal entries help Interlochen — and the lawmakers with the power to give survivors of abuse across Michigan access to justice — understand what survivors of grooming and abuse actually go through," she said in a statement for this story. "For decades, I thought I was the only person abused while attending Interlochen. The report's release showed how many of us there are, and how many of us are still living with the consequences of the school's neglect."
In a statement on its website, Interlochen says: "The safety and well-being of our students will always be our highest priority. We currently have a wide range of measures in place to provide a safe and supportive environment for all students. We routinely review our policies and procedures related to the protection of minors and campus safety and continue to evolve to ensure we remain current with effective practices."
Contact Natalie Davies at ndavies@freepress.com
This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: Exclusive: Interlochen alum shares journal entries from 1970s
