There’s a scene in “Curb Your Enthusiasm” that speaks to a frustration that hangs in the air around countless parking lots and spaces across this great country.
A man parks over the line as he pulls into a spot in front of a frozen yogurt shop.
But Larry David, the acerbic comedian who also helped bring the world “Seinfeld,” can’t just let this pass. If you know the show, you know that would be impossible.
“Excuse me, are you happy with that park?” David asks of the man, who’s oblivious to his transgression but soon gets dubbed a pig parker.
As the scene unfolds, David, who plays a version of himself in the HBO series that ended in 2024, highlights the stakes, at least as they appear to him: “This is chaos. Society can’t function like this. … You
have to be in the lines the way it’s supposed to be.”
After all, this egregious park job would cause an adjustment by the next parker, as he’s forced over the line in the other direction. When the pig parker leaves, everyone would wrongly blame the next guy. Not surprisingly, the pig parker doesn’t take kindly to any of this and has a few suggestions for David with language we wouldn’t include here.
I think about that episode from time to time when I’m out and about, when I catch a glimpse of that chaos about to unfold in a parking lot or garage. I saw a social media post once of a car that somehow took up four parking spaces. In the “Curb” episode it was only two.
Of course, I’ve seen with my own eyes more examples of parking misconduct than I can recall, though a car that manages to take up four spots is a special case.
I don’t typically engage with the offending parkers, in large part, because it’s much more common in my experience to see the car already parked and the driver nowhere around.
On a few occasions, I’ve walked to my car in a parking lot and found that I can’t easily get in through the driver’s side because someone has decided they won’t be limited by the sight of a painted line or proximity to another vehicle when they arrive.
As I was thinking about writing this, I remembered stopping at a Best Buy a couple of years ago in Roseville. I’d found a spot in the big open parking lot that wasn’t next to any other vehicles. I usually don’t mind walking a few additional steps, and I like to give myself extra space when I can. My car’s probably gotten fewer door dings over the years as a result, or at least I like to believe that's the case.
When my son and I got back to the car from the store, a rather large pickup had placed itself right next to my driver’s side door. His rear wheel was on the line. Maybe it was just his side mirror that was over, so there might be some room for debate. But he was too close from where I was standing, and I had to climb through the passenger side to get in. Lucky for me, I had enough room on that side.
There were so many open parking spots in this lot that this seemed weirdly intentional. The least he could have done was to have given me an extra inch or two of space, but then again, this person clearly wasn’t too concerned about me or, I assume, anyone but himself.
I took the time to snap a couple of quick pics that day. I think I sent one to my wife. I don’t remember what I said in the text, but it might have been something along the lines of, “Can you believe this crap?” That’s if I'd been in a charitable mood. Thinking back on it now, there's another possible reason the space was so cramped, although probably it's me overthinking things. Maybe those spots weren't really wide enough to begin with. Good design can make all the difference.
At any rate, I know there’ve been times when my parking wasn’t something to showcase either, so I try not to get too high up on my horse about it, but some cases just stick with you.
There was that time from ages ago when I’d parked at a restaurant and someone pulled in beside me as I was gathering with the rest of the family before we headed inside. The passenger in the other vehicle bumped my car with her door as she was getting out. It wasn’t hard, but I heard it and she did, too, or maybe she felt it.
As she was getting ready to do the right thing by starting to say a quick, ‘Sorry,’ her driver told her not to worry about it and they hustled away. That probably should have been my line, but I kind of let it go (it still comes to mind, so clearly I didn’t fully let it go).
I also recall a time when I’d been the offender, pulling into a parking spot and opening my door. I bumped the car next to me and hardly had time to say anything before that driver was on top of me ranting about how he’d just had his car painted. No dings or scrapes to be seen, so he calmed down pretty quickly, and I was allowed to live.
Not kidding, though, things could have escalated quickly. He was mad.
At any rate, we like to imagine we’re always in the right, that we’re never the issue, but of course, that’s not true even when it comes to parking. I don’t really believe in parking karma even when I say I do, but parking chaos … that might be something we should try to avoid when we can.
Stay safe, and take it easy out there.
Eric D. Lawrence is the senior car culture reporter at the Detroit Free Press, and he also writes about recreational vehicles, boats and bikes. If you’ve got a parking story to share, send it to elawrence@freepress.com. Become a subscriber. Submit a letter to the editor at freep.com/letters.
This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: Is it too much to expect a little courtesy when parking? You tell me
