As a proud member of the Silent Generation (1928-1945) I should hold my tongue, not speak up. But I have to come to the defense of Generation Z (1997-2012). Surely, you have read about the so-called Gen Z stare. Documented recently by The Washington Post, it’s that blank look a barista might give you when you make your coffee order.
“The cashier responds with a gawp, says as little as possible and points to a sign,” explains Ariana Eunjung Cha of the Post. “Another question; another point. One more question. Point. Eye roll.”
I gather that during this transactions the cashier’s eyes roll, though the default position is a stare, hence the label.
The story suggests that millennials (1981-1996) are especially offended by the stare. I guess there’s
some generational issues going on.
But speaking for the Silent Generation (I know, we’re not supposed to speak), I would suggest that we may be to blame for the stare.
Silent Generation folks, yours truly included, are often confused when ordering.
You go into a Starbucks, you’re already to ask for a Triple Grande Cappuccino with Soy and one Splenda, and you suddenly freeze. You forget whether it’s soy or oat milk you usually order. Is a grande really a medium?
You remember you’ve entered you order details in the notes section of your iPhone. You call it up and scroll through your bank account numbers and your saved passwords until you finally get to your coffee order. You see you don’t get soy or oat; you get 2%.
All the while the barista waits, looks at you, even stares. It’s your fault.
Next up is that millennial in the Dave Matthews Band T-shirt who has been waiting ever so impatiently for you to get your order straight. The millennial makes an order, and receives the stare in return, the one left over from your encounter, yes yours.
Dave Matthews Band then fires up Tik Tok and lets the world know about another example of the Gen Z stare.
Meanwhile, the Silent Generation person (you) who started this chain of stares is searching for an additional Splenda to take home and add to the emergency Splenda supply.
What can be done to break the chain, to change the stares to smiles?
First, it’s up to the Silent Generation to get their orders straight.
I’d just start with coffee and coffee alone. It’s easy to remember. Lay off the decaf. Sometimes it has to be brewed fresh. Takes time. Everyone stares.
After you’ve made 10 or so coffee orders, it’s OK to have a cappuccino or a latte, but just have milk, no soy, no oat.
As you move on to more involved mixtures, it’s best to write them down. Forger the Notes app. Use a piece of paper.
Old school.
Be sure to say something nice to the baristas.
Start with “How’s your day?” Move on to “Aren’t millennials full of themselves?” or “What do you think about the renaming of Lake Ontario?”
Don’t forget to tip. But do that without going to your calculator and figuring the right amount. That slows up the line. Just put a buck in the jar and move on.
Be assured, of course, that the millennial in the Dave Matthews shirt is already online asking whether the Silent Generation will ever shut up. A new meme is born. The Gen Z stare is forgotten. All is well. Have another coffee. Plain. No oat milk.
Remarkable Rochesterian

We wrote recently of David Anderson, who died on Aug. 13 at age 96. Let’s add his name to the list of Remarkable Rochesterians that can be found at: https://data.democratandchronicle.com/remarkable-rochesterians/:
Dr. David A. Anderson (1930-2026): An educator and storyteller, he devoted his life to keeping history alive, especially the history of Blacks in America. Born in Cincinnati, he served in the U.S. Air Force and then came to Rochester in 1956 to study photography at Rochester Institute of Technology. After graduating, he received a master’s degree and teaching credentials at Syracuse University and eventually returned to Rochester, where he worked first for Action for a Better Community, then the Urban League of Rochester and next, the Rochester City School District, all the while advocating for children and parents. He became widely known portraying the character Sanfoka, who told stories of African creation myths.
From his home in Geneseo, Livingston County, retired senior editor Jim Memmott writes Remarkable Rochester about who we were, who we are. He can be reached at jmemmott@gannett.com or write Box 274, Geneseo, NY 14454.
This article originally appeared on Rochester Democrat and Chronicle: One coffee order explains the Gen Z stare perfectly













