It's finally spooky season in Nashville, and there's nothing scarier than the quintessential Nashville experience: getting ghosted by another musician.
The last time this happened to me, all I had left to remember him by was his annotated copy of "The Creative Act: A Way of Being" by Rick Rubin. Oh, so Nashville.
As I stuffed it in a shipping envelope, I thought: How many more "creatives" would I have to meet for a glass of wine at Urban Cowboy before I, at least, hit pause on my Hinge profile?
I'm Audrey Gibbs and this is "Audrey Off Broadway," a new column where we dive into the people, places and trends shaping Nashville's culture right now.
This week, we're revisiting a 2025 article I wrote about the challenges of dating in Music City.
With another
cuffing season upon us, unpartnered Nashvillians are reminded of their singleness at every turn.
Couples are frolicking through apple orchards, clinging to one another in haunted houses, and will soon be picnicking in the crisp fall air, feeding each other butternut squash soup then toasting with steaming cups of cider.
Throughout my three-plus years in town, I've watched the social media posts pile up criticizing Nashville's dating scene. I've stopped counting the national "worst places for singles" lists that somehow always seem to include Music City.
The complaints are surprising when you look at the numbers. More than 58% of Nashville adults over 20 years old are unmarried, amounting to roughly 315,000 single residents, according to recent Census data.
That's a significantly higher share than New York City or Los Angeles and well above the national average of roughly 42.5%.
It all left me with one question: Is Nashville the problem, or is it us?
Last year, I set out to find the answer, talking with Gen Z and millennial Nashvillians navigating the dating trenches. Here's what they told me.
'I'm not gonna find my husband at Mother's Ruin'
"Every city has their thing," said Maura Streppa, a 25-year-old singer-songwriter. "Ours is going out and drinking and live music." Streppa moved to town shortly before the pandemic.
Over time, she decided that "Nashville attracts a certain type of person," recalling one date who showed up so intoxicated that he told her the same story over and over again.
Every touring musician she dated has cheated on her, she added.
"Touring is hard because it's very uprooted, fast-paced, unpredictable," she said. "And I feel like, if you want a long-term relationship, a future that is predictable is way easier than one that's really not."
Now, Streppa is going on a year with her boyfriend, who isn't in the music industry. The two met on Hinge and recently welcomed home a basset hound puppy. "Love is real in Nashville!" Streppa said.
"Before I met (him) ... I was very insecure. I was going out way too much, looking in the wrong places. A better way to put it is, I'm not gonna find my husband at Mother's Ruin," she said, nodding to the hoppin' Germantown bar.
"Sorry, it's just not gonna happen. But will I find a burger and a hot hookup? Yeah, probably."
'I feel like I've been let down so many times'
"A lot of gay culture is, unfortunately, being out and about and being social and going out on the weekends," said Bryan Webb, a 33-year-old radio producer.
But the party lifestyle can lead to Peter Pan syndrome, the inability to grow up, adult and commit, all the while leading on romantic partners.
"I don't know if some of these idiots know that they're in this party boy or party girl phase," Webb said. "I think sometimes people just tell people what they want to hear."
He's not sure if he's jaded, but now Webb tries not to take it all so seriously, even as he dates with more intention.
"I feel like I've been let down so many times because I have gotten my hopes up so quickly."
'There's a look that they chase'
"Nashville, I feel like it's been turning into this influencer city," said Keisha Phillips, a 26-year-old college counselor.
"Everyone's completely detached from reality," she said, and it feels like the guys are chasing one type of girl: blonde, blue-eyed, skinny White women.
"There's a look that they chase. It's not so much getting to know you," she said. "Being Black and dating in Nashville, that's a whole other layer on top of bad dating in Nashville."
She recalled a time at a rooftop bar when she worked up the courage to introduce herself to a cute guy.
"I was like, 'You know what? I'm gonna put myself out there,'" she said. When she went up, he reached by Phillips, shrugging her off to introduce himself to a bottled blonde with lip filler right behind her.
In an effort to see if the options were better in other cities, Phillips changed her dating app locations away from Nashville.
"The likes were coming in, and they were solid likes," she said. "Decent guys, jobs, careers."
And when she switched it back to Nashville?
"You either get the man that's wearing Coach from head to toe or some jerk face that just wants to hook up." They're ones who say, "Oh, I'm only here for the weekend."
'Working late hours, working nights, working on the weekends'
Over the past few years for Nick Hostetter, a 28-year-old artist manager, his career has taken center stage.
"That usually involves working late hours, working nights, sometimes working on the weekends," he said. "Specifically in the music industry, you don't make much money starting off ... you have to come in and prove yourself."
Back when he worked as an agent assistant at a major talent agency, very few of his work counterparts were in serious committed relationships.
"I'm trying to be better at finding a work-life balance," he said. But it makes it difficult to find a girlfriend, especially when it feels like a lot of young, hardworking Nashville professionals are living for the weekend.
"People are day-drinking and going out at night. I feel like it's tough to really find somebody in that sense," he said. "Maybe that's part of the issue ... I feel like the city definitely has an emphasis on drinking."
'There's no loyalty there'
Thomas Keal, a 32-year-old brand strategist and singer-songwriter with a social media following, drags the Nashville dating scene in some of his most-liked TikTok content.
One post has a slide that says: "How are you still single?" The next is just a map of Nashville.
"In my encounters with a lot of girls, if you can get invites to events, they're your best friend," he said. "But the moment you don't have something to have them as a plus one to, they'll jump ship and go to somebody else who does ... there's no loyalty there."
Keal thinks it's a common theme in other cities with opportunities, "this social laddering aspect of dating" he's experienced in New York, Los Angeles and Miami, too.
Keal deleted Hinge and Raya, an exclusive dating app, in July. He felt like he was meeting "unhealed people" on the platforms. "It just seemed like a lot of people looking for a Band-Aid or a temporary solution."
"I feel like a lot of people here try to move really quickly. They'll go from 'we met out' to 'this is my person.' For two or three weeks they'll blast the crap out of it ... and then they'll just kind of be gone."
And the diagnosis is ...
It's definitely Nashville, but it's also us.
As people flock to Music City, the town has become one of the fastest-growing cities in the country and people are eager to make a name for themselves.
For some, dating has taken the back burner while they focus on launching careers. For others, it's become transactional and unserious.
Nashville's booze-fueled social scene ushers its residents into one night stands, noncommittal flings and sloppy behavior. And the transience of Music City, with half of the town on tour or a tourist, leads to long-distance situationships and a whole lot of ghosting.
But beyond Nashville, dating in your 20s and 30s, regardless of place, is not a walk in the park.
Even with the best intentions, it's easy to get hurt or to hurt others. Nobody knows what they want, and it's perfectly normal to figure it out along the way.
Some dating tips for Nashvillians
As you go forth and date in Nashville, here are some tips.
- Never go for the band's lead singer or guitarist. Stick to the bassist, drummer or keys player. It's a safer bet ... you'll thank me later.
- Always drive yourself to the first date in case you need a speedy escape (or have Uber at the ready).
- Best first date spots? The Fox, Pinewood Social, Butcher & Bee, Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams, Inglewood Lounge, Pins Mechanical Company, No Quarter, Vinyl Tap, Cheekwood Estate and Gardens and, of course, Urban Cowboy.
- Alternatively, if you're looking for your not-for-forever types, frequent Mother's Ruin and Schulman's (if above age 25) or Lakeside Lounge and Broadway Honky Tonks (21-24) on a Saturday night.
- Over-communicate instead of under-communicate. It's a small town and you'll run into the people you've smooched. It's always best to end, if possible, on a harmonious note.
And, for the lucky few, it is possible to find love at Mother's Ruin.
It is called cuffing season for a reason, after all.
Audrey Gibbs is a 26-year-old music and culture journalist at The Tennessean.
This is her brand new column, Audrey Off Broadway, about culture in Nashville. Readers can expect new pieces Friday mornings.
Have an idea for a piece? Reach her at agibbs@tennessean.com or on Instagram at @audreyraegibbs.
This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: Audrey Off Broadway: Everyone hates dating in Nashville. Why?
