This week, Americans again confront horrifying allegations of sexual violence. A former Cornell University student has filed a civil lawsuit alleging that she was drugged and sexually assaulted by multiple men at a fraternity house in 2024. The allegations are deeply disturbing.
The public response has, understandably, included shock, sadness, disbelief, calls for accountability and outrage. After more than two decades working to support survivors and prevent sexual violence, however, I know this much: Outrage cannot be our only response.
Outrage is a reaction. Prevention is a choice.
Outrage comes after harm. Prevention requires us to show up before.
For decades, we have treated sexual violence primarily as something we respond to after it happens. Survivors are asked whether they reported.
Law enforcement investigates. Attorneys debate punishment and accountability. We at the Sexual Assault Center (SAC) provide therapy and advocacy.
All of that matters, but what if we put the same energy into asking what happens before an assault?
For generations, we have taught girls how not to be raped. Watch your drink. Don’t drink too much. Don’t go for a run alone. Stay with your friends. Carry your keys between your fingers. The list goes on.
What we should be teaching boys and young men
There is value in teaching young people to recognize risk, how to move through the world more safely and to look out for one another. We should all be troubled, though, by how much of the burden of preventing sexual violence has historically been placed on the people most likely to experience it.
What if we spent as much time teaching boys and young men not to participate in, tolerate, facilitate, joke about or remain silent around sexual violence? What if we taught them what true consent is and that it does not include intoxication? That masculinity has nothing to do with sexual conquest. What if we taught them that speaking up when you see something wrong, even when it means standing up to friends, is a true test of character?
What if we started all of these conversations much earlier? Children learn about boundaries, bodily autonomy, empathy and respect – conversations that grow with them instead of springing up during a high school life class. What if every person understood their role in creating environments where sexual violence is less likely to occur? That is prevention.
What real prevention looks like
Sexual violence is not inevitable. The conditions that allow it to flourish are created by people, which means they can also be changed by people.
It requires investing in prevention when sexual violence isn’t trending. It requires adequately funding survivor services before a community is in crisis. It requires schools and universities to treat prevention as more than an annual presentation or compliance requirement. It requires creation and true adoption of policies and procedures that protect survivors. It requires parents to have conversations that may feel uncomfortable, over and over again. It requires men to be active participants in this work. And it requires all of us to reject the idea that ending sexual violence is primarily the responsibility of women or survivors.
Progress is possible, but the work isn't finished
I have seen too much progress over the course of my career to believe change is impossible. Just days after these allegations made headlines, hundreds of people gathered for the most successful Mad Hatter fundraiser in SAC’s history to support survivors and prevent sexual assault in Middle Tennessee. It was a powerful reminder that awareness, support and commitment to this work are growing. Conversations that were once whispered are happening openly now. Progress should never be confused with completion, though.
We are all outraged. But what now?
The questions that will shape what comes next
Will we all still care next month when this story is replaced by another on our newsfeeds? Will we educate our sons as intentionally as we have tried to protect our daughters? Will we believe that our own choices can contribute to a safer community?
The answers to these questions are what shape our culture next.
Rachel Freeman is CEO of the Sexual Assault Center in Nashville, which provides therapy, advocacy, training and prevention services.
This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: Sexual violence prevention must begin before harm occurs | Opinion
