Hours after conservative activist Charlie Kirk was shot in his state one year ago, Utah Gov. Spencer Cox was on his way to a news conference to address the nation when his phone rang.
It was Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro.
Cox is a Republican. Shapiro is a Democrat.
“This was the worst day of my time as governor,” Cox said, recalling how he welcomed Shapiro's advice in that moment. “He said ‘I want you to speak with moral clarity. And I want you to speak from the heart. So whatever your talking points are, throw them away right now and just whatever comes to you, just say that.'”
“That’s a little bit of a leap of faith coming from a Jewish governor who’s a Democrat to a Mormon Republican in Utah — to just speak from the heart," Cox said. "But that’s
what I did.”
During his speech that followed, Cox shared his concern over the deep rifts in American politics that led to tragic violence that day.
“I said, ‘I’m worried about our country, and we desperately need an off ramp,'” Cox said.
That concept became the premise for Cox’s new book, "Off Ramp: How to Be a Peacemaker in an Age of Contempt," published this month. The book is a “practical and patriotic guide” on how to disagree better “at the dinner table, on social media, and in American politics.”
He sat down with Dialogue Vanderbilt director Sarah Igo on Sept. 15 at Vanderbilt’s Benton Chapel to discuss the book.
Here are four key takeaways:
Political polarization grows from contempt for one another
Cox said the deep polarization in American politics is no longer just about political issues. It’s grown into a dangerous contempt for the people with whom we disagree, stoked by a chronic lack of interaction with people of differing views.
“The natural progression of this effective polarization, where we despise each other, this contempt that we’re feeling … it leads to people shooting each other,” Cox said, pointing to the Civil War as an example. “I firmly believe that’s the road that we’re on, and we desperately need an off-ramp.”
Disagree more, but act together
Cox made global headlines in 2020 for a viral political ad in which he stood side-by-side with his general election opponent, Chris Peterson — someone he describes as “a great human being” and “very, very decent man,” with whom he “disagrees on almost everything.”
In the fraught mid-pandemic moment after the killing of George Floyd, the two opponents appeared on-screen together and each asked for viewers' votes, but expressed unity over the election's outcome.
“I said, Chris, I know you care about our country. I’m really worried about what’s happening. I know you’re worried too,” Cox said, sharing how he proposed the ad. “We disagree on lots of things, but we both agree that we can disagree without hating each other. That we love our state, and we love our country. That we’ll accept the results of the election no matter what they are.”
Their ad together went viral and sparked a bipartisan Disagree Better campaign, which launched during Cox’s tenure as chairman of the National Governor’s Association and has since become a nonprofit.
Cox said the ad resonated not because he and Peterson agreed with each other — they didn't — but because they disagreed well.
“We actually need to disagree more, not less. We need more debate,” Cox said, as long as it’s done with real civility.
True civility isn’t simple politeness, he said. It demands the absence of contempt.
“Civility, properly understood, is peacemaking. It’s hard,” he said. “Civility isn’t all just getting along. Civility is acting together.”
America’s political system rewards rage
Cox said the American political system today, publicized by social media and soundbites, incentivizes rage and controversy. But the real work of legislating and leadership gets done away from cameras, Cox said.
“Who are the people that you know in Congress? I guarantee you they’re not the people who are getting stuff done,” Cox said. “They’re the ones that are saying crazy stuff on TikTok or Fox News or MSNBC or whatever. We all know who they are, right? We all know them by name.”
“The political incentives are completely misaligned,” he added.
Both major political parties seem focused on winning an election to solve toxic division, he said.
“We just seem to think in America right now that if we just win the next election … that we won’t have to listen anymore," he said.
That system won’t last, he said. With 70% of Americans saying they hate what’s happening in politics today, Cox said, there’s “a market failure.”
“The first party or candidate to try to fill that market, I think, is going to be very, very successful,” he said.
Deemphisize political talk in daily life
As social media has grown, social institutions that bring people together in common purpose have declined.
“When I was growing up, I didn’t know who the Republicans and Democrats were in my town or in my congregation,” he said. “We were Americans. We were Utahans.”
As political tribalism has grown, institutions like church and civic organizations have been replaced with politics.
“I fear that we have lost so many of those institutions that brought us together in positive ways,” Cox said.
Because of the decline of personal interactions and common goals fostered by those institutions, Cox thinks Republicans and Democrats perceive each other to be in much deeper disagreement on issues than they really are.
“The only way to close that perception gap is to go out and talk to real people,” he said.
“Let’s take politics for politics. Let’s not talk about it when we’re in church. Let’s not talk about it when we’re at the football game. Let’s not talk about it when we’re just hanging out and having a good time,” he said. “Let’s get off our phones. Let’s log off of social media and go out and experience the real world again.”
Vivian Jones covers state government and politics for The Tennessean. Reach her at vjones@tennessean.com or on X @Vivian_E_Jones.
This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: Spencer Cox warns against political contempt in Vanderbilt speech
