Advice for soccer families about playing time | Coaches confidential

The Cincinnati Enquirer high school sports team has brought back a popular feature, Coaches Confidential, to the 2026 slate of coverage.

The idea is for coaches to answer questions anonymously about their sport so readers can focus on the message instead of the messenger. While football coaches have been the primary focus in past features, we asked soccer and volleyball coaches to weigh in this year.

Coaches not on the mailing list who wish to answer questions may reach out to [e-mail].

This week's question for soccer coaches: What is your coaching philosophy concerning playing time? What do you look for in a player when making your choices? What advice do you give families about approaching you with concerns?

Earned, not given

• "Playing time is earned, not given. We want our players to develop, so if an underclassman isn't getting meaningful varsity minutes, we'd rather have him playing junior varsity than sitting on the varsity bench. Every coach wants players who give relentless effort, are coachable and are great teammates. After that, decisions come down to technical ability, physical qualities, endurance, soccer IQ, and how a player's strengths fit the role we need. When concerns arise, I believe in the 24-hour rule before discussing them. After that, I encourage the player to reach out and schedule a conversation with me. Learning to advocate for yourself is an important life skill. Parents certainly have a role, especially when there are concerns that affect the overall well-being of the team or involve circumstances outside the game. However, when it comes to playing time, tactics, or coaching decisions, those conversations should begin with the player. My door is always open, and I appreciate families who approach those conversations looking to help the program rather than expecting something in return."
• "Playing time seems to be a very controversial topic when it comes to sports. For me, playing time is earned, not given. A player must show up to practice, work hard and show a willingness to be coachable day in and day out. Players must have good attitudes and must be team players. Players must always be willing to learn and help others. These are just a few factors that determine playing time for me. When picking a team, I look at the player holistically. While we all want players who are technically and tactically sound, I look for players who are also coachable, who have great attitudes, who come to work every day and leave everything on the field, who support their teammates and are great communicators. I look for players who bring their teammates up, as opposed to tearing them down. The advice that I give to parents who have concerns are to come and talk to me so that we can get those concerns resolved. In our player/parent meeting, I explained that my door is always open whenever there is a question or concern that arises. I provided everyone with multiple ways of communicating with me and reassured them that their questions and concerns are important to us as a coaching staff and deserve our attention."

Playing time not guaranteed at the varsity level

• "Playing time is not guaranteed at the varsity level, but it is at the JV level. This has to be communicated to the players on the back end of a varsity roster at the beginning of the season. And talented freshmen should not be sitting on the varsity bench, not getting playing time. What do you look for in a player when making your choices? There are five things we look at when making decisions on players - talent, athleticism, soccer IQ, work rate/approach/attitude and how they treat teammates. None of these qualities are completely measurable or definable, but they are topics that can be discussed with each individual athlete. What advice do you give families about approaching you with concerns? I tell all families that the best guidance they can give their daughter is how to have a conversation with a coach when they are frustrated or confused. The parent should not have that conversation for their child. The true value of being a student-athlete is to learn how to approach adversity or a difficult conversation."

• "At the varsity level, there is no guaranteed playing time. At the lower levels (JV/freshmen), playing time is closer to equal, as they are developmental teams. I look for fundamental skill level (touch/foot skills), athleticism and speed, commitment to the team, work ethic, and drive to succeed.

24-hour rule

"Philosophy on playing

time is that it is earned. Easy to say and understand. Players must demonstrate at training, in the off-season, and during sessions all of the standards we have set in the program. This is non-negotiable. Players who can have vision, play multiple positions, and push their teammates are some of the most important attributes for them to have. It isn't about them as an individual, but how much better they make the team. Sacrifice position to improve the overall performance vs. individual awards. In our program, families have a 24-hour rule after matches/training. Players should always be the first form of contact. If there is confusion, then parents can have guidance or clarity. Playing time is never discussed, or other players. Just how that player can improve or areas of strength/growth necessary to compete within the team. It is important to teach self-confidence and ownership in each player. I have found in the end how much players improve when they have a voice of their own."

Playing time is about development

"Playing time is earned, not given. These are high school players, and while we want to put the best on the field, we understand the developmental path. If an underclassman is on our varsity roster, it does that player no good to be on the varsity bench. We try to get as many minutes for those players as possible, whether that be on the JV team as well as varsity. Time on the field and experience are crucial. Our JV program is a developmental tool. We may be judged from the outside by our record, but outsiders are not seeing the development every day. Game 1 and Game 17 look very different. It’s our aim to replicate the varsity atmosphere, training, and formational game to make that transition easy for players to move to varsity when they are ready. All JV players will play, but the amount of minutes is not split equally. We do a great job at managing our schedule and allowing some players to get added minutes vs. different levels of competition. At Monroe, we obviously look for talented players. Being a DIII school with roughly 400-plus boys, our selection and pool is much smaller. Our program is rich in culture, and I look specifically at the person more so than the talent. I want players who love to compete, treat teammates like family, and adhere to the culture we’ve built. Classroom performance is more important than on-field performance. I’ve been blessed to have 40 guys in our program year in and year out who are great men. It’s our job to develop character and good people, not just a winning squad. I also look for a balance of veteran leaders and young talent. The exposure to the varsity game as a freshman/sophomore allows players to understand the speed and physicality, so if a kid can hold his own as an underclassman, it benefits him from the get-go. It’s just different at Monroe. I’ll be completely honest: in five years, I have not had one parent question a choice of team splits or come to me with issues/concerns about their kids' playing time. We lay out all expectations in March, and it’s very detailed. It doesn’t allow for the mind to wander or any questions about what our expectations are. We communicate with players/families regularly and just don’t have any issues. I feel honesty and transparency for both players and families is a large part of the trust that they have in me and my staff."

Attendance, attitude, honesty equal playing time

"I try to play all of the players on my varsity roster in each game.  I consider attendance at practices, attitude and skill when making playing-time decisions. Most high school coaches coach because they love working with young people and love the game.  Players should address the coach honestly with their concerns either before or after practice."

Attitude, consistency among the determinants for playing time.

"My philosophy is that playing time is earned every day. Talent matters, but talent alone has never determined playing time in our program. We look at attitude, effort, coachability, fitness, consistency, preparation, and ultimately what gives the team the best chance to succeed.

"The players who earn opportunities are usually the ones doing all the little things right when nobody is watching. They're reliable teammates. They compete hard in training. They hold themselves accountable. They embrace their role and continue to improve regardless of where they currently sit on the depth chart.

"When speaking with families, I encourage open and respectful communication. I will not have a conversation via text or email. Under no circumstances will I answer a difficult email with an email. I will just call whomever sends the email.  So I discuss with my parents that this is a partnership in development.  The player, the parent and the coach.  So lets make sure we treat each other like partners not advisories.  We have a 24-hour rule after games because emotions can run high. If there are concerns, I always encourage players to communicate with me first. One of the life lessons athletics should teach is how to advocate for yourself, ask questions, handle feedback, and grow from difficult conversations.

"At the end of the day, our responsibility as coaches is to develop young women both on and off the field. Winning matters, but helping our players become resilient, confident, accountable leaders matters even more. If we accomplish both, then we've done our job."

Communication is key

"Having open communication is the biggest thing! CCDS is very different from other big schools. I have 27 players on my roster. The 11 seniors have known me for four years. We meet and they know where they stand. Some would be cut from lots of teams across the city. The better players play…and we are looking to win! Heart and putting TEAM before individual will always be an important factor. The upperclassmen will get the nod early but younger players who continue to battle can easily win positions/playing time as the season progresses. Our schedule is so difficult, as we are trying to play our best soccer in the tournament no matter what our record is in the regular season." 

Commitment, leadership are key

"For me, playing time isn't just about talent. It's about commitment, leadership, focus, work ethic and, above all else, consistency. Consistency builds trust, and trust wins games. If I have 11 players on the field who have the stamina to compete, the heart to fight for one another, the discipline to stay connected, and the mindset to play as one unit, they've earned the right to be there. I believe playing time is earned every day, in training, in how you support your teammates, and in the standard you hold yourself to. When players consistently show they can be trusted in those moments, they'll earn opportunities on the field."

Team over individual stats

"Playing time is earned at practice.  A combination of effort, attitude, and ability earns minutes.  Players who are chosen for the team are selfless and should be more interested in making the team better than individual stats.  These are high school players who should approach their coaches on their own initially, not parents coming to the coaches.  Parents and players should always wait 24 hours after a game to discuss playing time with a coach."

Athletes: Enjoy the game. Parents: Support your athletes while they do.

"My coaching philosophy revolves around work rate. Play to support your teammate. We want to pressure the ball whenever we can. I want kids to enjoy the game and express themselves on the ball. When selecting a team, I want players who are willing to make the extra off-ball run. Play for the team, win as a team. Players who run hard, are decisive on the ball, willing to take risks and own mistakes are my ideal players. It is a beautiful game; I just want to bring a little bit of chaos to the pitch. Advice I give families: Support your kid as best you can. If they want to play every weekend and you cannot afford a club, pickup leagues exist around the city. Some clubs allow guest players. The soccer community is strong and no matter your skill level, there is a pitch waiting for you."

Trust between coaches and players

• "Playing time is about trust. If I trust a player to be out there and give us a positive chance to compete at a high level, the player will be out there. At the varsity level, there are no guaranteed minutes. However, the regular season is for finding minutes for all players who are on the roster. If a player is selected for the team, that player is deemed good enough for the team and therefore should be trusted to play quality minutes at times throughout the regular season. It is on me if a player sits on the bench all season and then makes mistakes and/or struggles if he is called upon for big minutes in the postseason due to injury or depth issues that come about. I cannot fairly expect that player to be ready for big moments if he is never given an opportunity to experience them throughout the season."
• "Parents need to let their son navigate concerns about playing time. This is the player's journey, not the parents'. Coaches should create an environment where players are informed and comfortable and confident enough to have an honest conversation about their concerns. They may not like the coach's response (and reasoning), but they will at least know the why behind it."

Best players get the most minutes

"The best players should absorb the most minutes; role players need to be given opportunities so they're ready when needed to step up. When making our player choices, we rely on strong technical ability, coachability, commitment and the x-factor for that player: either athleticism, leadership, creativity, or drive. We make it clear to families at the start of the season that playing time will not be a conversation with parents, but it can be with players. The coaches do their best to provide the players with specific feedback, suggested areas for improvement, and encouragement to be patient for when their moment comes."

This article originally appeared on Cincinnati Enquirer: Advice for soccer families about playing time | Coaches confidential