Known for always speaking her mind, actress Swara Bhasker is currently seen in Pati Patni Aur Panga with husband Fahad Ahmad. In this candid conversation, she opens up about being judged as a new mother,
Bollywood’s biases, facing trolling and her political voice. Excerpts:
Every time a working mother takes a bold step, society calls it “selfish.” Have you faced that judgment after joining Pati Patni Aur Panga with Fahad Ahmad?
Women get judged for whatever choice they make. If they get back to work soon after giving birth, they are termed selfish or bad mothers. If they take a break, they are judged for being lazy or taking it too easy. I've been trolled and fat-shamed for putting on weight postpartum, for not losing it fast enough, for not ‘bouncing back’ right after delivery, for choosing to take a break and be with my baby. Nasty memes had my before and after pics, comparing my size and titling it “What did she eat?"
It’s cruel and initially it hurt because I was a new mom but now I am used to it. It’s a sad reflection of how utterly foolish, petty and misogynistic our society is and the fact that women can never win no matter what they do. It’s a toxic trait to make cruel judgements on anyone, especially new moms, and frankly it’s nobody’s business how people live their lives. I ignore it mostly; but sometimes I call out the trolls because I believe such rubbish discourse should be challenged.
Actresses are often told that after becoming mothers, their “market value” in Bollywood drops. Do you think the industry is still biased against mothers?
I think society finds women undesirable after they become mothers. But I do believe values are changing. In contemporary times, one of the mainstream female actresses to have led that change is Kareena Kapoor. She worked until the last week of her pregnancy, and was shooting for Veere Di Wedding nine months after delivery. I think that has helped change attitudes and now it's normal for mainstream Bollywood actresses to be back at work after becoming moms. Legendary star Nutan ji went back to work after having her baby in 1963 and continued working till the 1980s. She was the original trailblazer for actresses working after motherhood.
Actresses are asked if they’ll ever make a “comeback” after giving birth. How do you feel about that?
I get a lot of comments and questions about when I will be back on screen and whether I will ever work again. A lot of fans say they miss me on screen which is sweet and flattering; but I do feel pressured sometimes about getting back to work. I feel guilty for taking this break to be with my baby. I spend a lot of mental time fighting off that pressure and telling myself I’ve worked for 15-16 years and it’s okay to take this time out and be a full time mom.
Critics say your social media persona became bigger than your filmography. Do you regret that in hindsight?
It is true that my social media has given me a larger profile beyond my films but I don’t think that is a bad thing. The idea that actors should not have any opinions or a personality outside of the screen is stifling for actors as humans and I cannot operate like that. I'm an authentic person and for good or bad that’s how it is. It’s true, I’ve been punished for my frank opinions and earned the tag of being ‘controversial’ but that’s also a sign of how intolerant our society and politics have become.
Do you see your return to acting on OTT or big screens?
It’s not about reclaiming anything. I’d like to work in projects that are fulfilling and do roles that are challenging and gratifying for me as an artist, that fuel my craft and creative growth. The medium of distribution is not that important for me. I’d like to stop being punished for my political opinions.
I must say that Pati, Patni Aur Panga has given me the perfect platform to take slow steps back to work at my own pace.
If a top filmmaker came to you today and said, “We’ll cast you, but keep your politics out of it”, would you accept the role?
‘Keep your politics out of it’ only means to not make political statements or comment on current affairs for the duration of the shoot and making of the film and till the release. Because the atmosphere today is so polarised and vitiated by those in power and because dissenting opinions are criminalised and punished, silence is the only way to keep working. I've already paid the price for my opinions by unofficially but effectively being blacklisted by makers; the question is for how long will I have to keep paying this price?
The narrative around actresses is often: “She’s a mother now, will she still do bold roles?” Do you think motherhood should change the kind of characters you’re offered?
It’s not a question of should or shouldn’t - it's about what happens. Also, women should do what they feel comfortable with. Many actresses may not want to do intimate scenes after marriage and motherhood and that’s a choice that should be respected. It doesn’t make them lesser artists. An actor has a life before ‘action’ and after ‘cut’ and they must choose how to balance both worlds according to their choice and comfort. Personally, I haven’t thought of this and will cross that bridge when I come to it.
Your daughter is growing up in a household where one parent gets trolled for her opinions, and the other gets trolled for his. Do you ever discuss how to shield her from this climate?
My daughter is not two years old yet so obviously we shield her from anything unpleasant and also from media exposure but she has to grow up in this world and she will have to face the reality of this world. I hope we instill values in her and give her enough love and safety in her early years so that she grows up to be a kind, courageous and resilient person.
Faceless trolls target you daily on social media. Does Fahad ever get upset because of these reasons?
All the time (laughs). Earlier, only my brother and PR managers would say these things. Now, Fahad has joined them too. I know it comes from a place of concern and a desire to protect me. I'm an impulsive and impractical person but I do take principled positions. My loved ones and family know better than anyone else the cost of speaking out that I’ve had to bear. Their fears are totally understandable.
Adding to that, Fahad is a politician and politics is an even more perception sensitive field than films. So, of course, we’ve often argued about my tweets and public statements but we try to understand each other’s perspective. Also, our basic values are the same so we know we are on the same team ultimately.
