Mental Health Tip of the Day: Things You Must Never Say to Someone with Depression

Depression

is not just common but also a debilitating sign of mental health. Also known as major depressive disorder, depression is extremely common among all age groups. While it leads to many symptoms that negatively impact how a person thinks, feels, and copes with daily activities like eating, sleeping, or working, experts say you need to be extremely cautious about how to react to someone who opens up about their feelings with you. While offering advice or wisdom may be something you do with only good intentions in mind, sometimes, the words used may not convey the message properly. Since depression is a mental health condition that requires treatment, you need to know a few things that you must refrain from while coping with it.

Things not to say to someone with depression

A few comments to avoid and habits to refrain from when speaking to someone with depression include:

Do not tell them to try harder

Absolutely avoid making comments like “just try harder” or “snap out” as they must already be putting their best efforts to come out of their present situation. Doctors say there are many reasons why depression develops, which are beyond anyone’s control, and so they cannot just talk themselves out of it.

Do not oversimplify their situation

While you may be exhibiting your best intentions, phrases like “cheer up” and “smile” can backfire. Those with depression undergo intense feelings that are not ordinary sadness. While you can inspire them to think positively, it may just not be enough to cure them of the signs of depression.

Stay away from expressing disbelief

Those who are depressed may not necessarily look sad all the time. According to experts, mental illnesses can be invisible, and so, you need to avoid making statements like, “You do not look depressed”, or “You don’t seem sad”.

Don’t show doubts

There are times when depressive thoughts become extremely intense and stop reflecting reality. Yet, those suffering may not reveal the depth of these feelings to those they care about. So, it is important to avoid making comments like “Are you sure you are not just sad?” Experts believe that many times, those suffering may be feeling embarrassed or confused about sharing their feelings, fearing a negative impact. So, just because someone with depression tries to cover it up, it doesn't mean they want to be dismissed when they do choose to open up about how they feel.

Do not blame them

“It is all in your head” is the worst thing a person with depression hears. Experts say blaming the victim does not resolve the issue but puts them deeper into feelings of sadness and neglect. Those who hear such phrases feel attacked, as though they are being accused of making it up or lying about how they feel. So, avoid saying things like, “It’s all in your head”, or “It’s your fault”.

Do not blame their lifestyle

Stop blaming the lifestyle of those suffering from depression. Avoid saying, “Maybe this is a wake-up call that you need to change your life”, or “What did you expect from the lifestyle you've been living?” Even though there is no clarity on what exactly causes depression, experts believe there are many contributing factors, which include genetics, environmental factors, and rising stress.

Do not ignore them

Ignoring someone with depression would only make things worse for them. The best way to support someone is to empathise with them, be open, and be willing to learn about their feelings. Rather than giving up on a conversation by saying “I don't understand”, make sure to give them reassurance that you are there for them and care deeply.